Dude, I stink. page 5

[patski]

I talked to my dude this morning, told him I need more fat in my diet. His response, "No shit?"

I think I may need to find a new dude.

This made me laugh and laugh.

Oh man. I think I found my sig.

I mean no offence whatsoever! It's honestly funny.

[patski]

I like being big(ger). It's one thing to throw around a bit of weight in the gym a couple times a week, and it's another to wrestle bears and drag semi's and shit (I have done neither, but I'm fully confident in my ability to do both. At the same time.).

DUDE! You're effing killing me!

[patski]

Wait. I just figured out why you're so funny.

You're in Dublin? Ireland?

IRISH PEOPLE ARE THE FUNNIEST MOTHEREFFERS

[TLoRu]

I have nothing to add about this so called stank of yours, buttttt Im finding this amazing to read. Please keep it going haha

[Siobhan]

So how is the stink? We're all on the edge of our seats here!

[Wanderlust]

I just found my new favorite thread.....effing hilarious!

[NicMcCool]

So how is the stink? We're all on the edge of our seats here!

Dude, I don't know if I'm doing this right.

I've been munching on sticks of butter -- 'cause y'know, I need to eat the fat -- and I even applied a little in the underarm area. I figured it would help, but dude, with my already ripe oniony stank mixed with the new whole fat butter melting in my man-pits I smell like an italian bakery.

I don't think I can keep this up without craving some loaves from Adriano's.

Also, the no-protein shake thing is killing me. While all my dudes are pounding their post-workout recovery malts, I'm sipping on some green tea and swallowing the aforementioned lard stick. Not high up on the manly list. I'd rather do half-squats in a singlet. (as opposed to my daily full-squats in a singlet)

The smell is still there, but at least now everyone wants to lick me.

I scheduled a quack appointment on Monday, so more to come.

[bionicsamm]

I'll second chlorophyll and fenugreek. Fenugreek will make you smell sweet, maple-syrupy and chlorophyll will kill any nasty buggers you have growing in you. Use liquid chlorophyll (in water), flavored or not. Unflavored doesn't taste like anything but it will turn your water green

[fuzzylogic]

For our patients with liver failure, we give them lactulose so that they poop 5-6 times a day, and they poop out the ammonia. Maybe try some mag citrate? That should make you poop......

[patski]

Nic,

Um, slathering butter to your pits isn't going to help matters, as you already know

Tried diluting some hydrogen peroxide with water, and applying that to your pits with cotton balls.

Continue eating meat, but cook it in fat; have your steak with pats of butter on top, with (some) onions, garlic and mushrooms fried in butter and bacon fat. Eat avocados, have a real protein shake made with raw eggs, coconut oil and coconut water, half a banana. Eat wild salmon with butter on top.