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Thread: Journal Attempt #2 page 8

  1. #71
    Leida's Avatar
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    I feel aggressive, tired and the wiggly translucent wormy thinggies swam up into my vision field when I was walking. Last time I had the thinggies I was on the Anabolic Diet, and it was prior to the near faint when I discontinued the diet, freaked out by the near faint. Am I in ketosis or something?

    Apparently, they are called eye floaters, and nothing to worry about:
    http://suite101.com/article/spots-th...vision-a177201

    But, interestingly, they are more common in diabetics. Stay away from sugar, Leida. It will kill you.

    Ouff.
    Last edited by Leida; 09-26-2012 at 11:56 AM.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  2. #72
    Leida's Avatar
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    The good news, I am still savory, despite baking mini-cheesecakes.





    Well, I peaked into the oven in an inopportune moment, so they are creamcheese tarts. Had to make a run for the store to get an emergency carton of cream. Filled them in this morning. Run out of cream on the last two, and had to improvise with jam and almond flakes.

    Now, the bad news are that I had cream cheese, and decided not to have dinner to compensate, so had a dish of pate, a dish of creamed coconut while cooking. The calories came up too high for a day of no activity. Plus dairy. No wonder the weight bounced to 125 this morning. Honestly, I will be happy if the control weigh in shows up 1 lb gain this week. With the emphasis on B-day and treats, I was eating too much of small dishes of treats. Did wonders for my fat intake, but no good for keeping calories in the 1300 range!

    Today I am going to go salt-free & see if I can miss dinner. I still need to make the icing and pretty-up the treats for my hubby's 'at home' b-day. The good news is that's where the rest of the cream cheese will go! Today i am gonna hit the gym with all my 125 lbs bulk!

    We'll see. If after a couple of weeks of high fat intake my calories are still too high, I will raise protein back to 100 g so I feel like I actually eat food, not endless tablespoons of fat.

    Sept 10, 2012: 20+ hrs fast, 1035 cals, 29/9 carbs (10%), 60 g protein, 75 g fat (66%). Walking, cardio SS (40 min), stretch (10 min)
    Sept 11, 2012: 16+ hrs fast, 1370 cals, 27/9 carbs, 94 g protein, 97 g fat (64%); Lifting (deload, SQT 5x5) + 20 min X-trainer; 1 hr walk
    Sept 12, 2012: 22 hrs fast, 980 cals, 16/6.5 carbs, 40 g protein; 86 g fat (78%); Recovery, some strolling during field trip.
    Sept 13, 2012: 15 hrs fast, 1310 cals, 29/8 g carbs, 101 g protein, 88 g fat (59%); 20 min x-trainer; 20 min light lifting; ~ 50 min walk
    Sept 14, 2012: >1300 cals (but did not count add-on in time); Lifting + 20 min swim, ~ 1 hr walking
    Sept 15, 2012: Not counted macros; Play day (pool, walking, garden)
    Sept 16, 2012: Not counted macros; Lifting + 20 min x-trainer; walking, a little gardening
    Sept 17, 2012: ~ 1400 cals, 34 g/11 g carbs, 88 g protein, 104 g fat (65 %); ~2 hrs walking, light gardening
    Sept 18, 2012: 1480 cals, 33/7 g carbs, 108 g protein, 105 g fat (61%); ~ 1.5 hrs walking, Lifting (OHP)
    Sept 19, 2012: 1600 cals, 33/8 g carbs, 101 g protein, 119 g fat (66%) ~ 2 walking, Stretch
    Sept 20, 2012: 1335 cals, 36/14 carbs; 65 g protein, 106 g fat (70%) ~ 35 min x-trainer, 3x15 snatches w 20# KB, 90 min walking, stretch
    Sept 21, 2012: ~ 1300 cals; walking (~90 min)
    Sept 22-Sept 23: No accurate count of calories; Moving slowly (a day in the mall, and a day of cooking and gardening)
    Sept 24: 1530 cals, 41/15 carbs, 63 g protein, 73% fat; ~ 80 min walking; 36 min x-trainer
    Sept 25: 1660 cals, 36/13 carbs, 63 g protein, 78% fat, ~ 90 min walking, lifting, 20 min x-trainer.
    Sept 26: 1450 cals, 36/10 carbs, 57 g protein, 76% fat. ~ 2 hrs walking
    Last edited by Leida; 09-27-2012 at 05:43 AM.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  3. #73
    Leida's Avatar
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    It was actually a very interesting chapter. It went beyond mere 'I am Lazy", but went into labeling as a whole. One of the examples was "large appetite" label. Now, this one is what I need to de-label myself from. It talks about making the enabling of the behavior difficult. Now, I have to brainstorm how I can stop myself from enabling the 'voraciousness' . I probably should fast. Maybe I can fast tomorrow. I can tell myself that I am one of those people who just can't make them,selves eat enough (poor sods). Yeah, I know they have a problem. Just nothing I can find empathy for atm. Bitch. I am very angry and resentful atm. Pissed off. Hateful. Most of all I hate myself for just not being able to get the fat off. How f'ing difficult can it f'ing be to shut my trap!

    Oh, well, back to chewing on the f'ing pencil to experience the chewing...
    Last edited by Leida; 09-27-2012 at 01:11 PM.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  4. #74
    Leida's Avatar
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    So much for 1300 cals yesterday... almost 1500. Weight this morning - some 123 something. I was so zonked and so relieved that it was not 125+ I can't even remember.

    I had some sort of a crisis yesterday. What i am proud of was that I was standing in the kitchen at 9 pm in my night shirt after a day of being on the verge of tears because I wanted FOOD, because I wanted to NOT CARE, and get fat and eat whatever fruit I wanted... and I did not gave into eating the apple.

    What i am not proud of is skipping cardio. But when I started lifting I had a feeling I should get out of the gym altogether, I was fumbling so much. I loaded wrong weights. I loaded sides differently. I was a mess. I was relieved to get to the planks because I could stop concentrating on Safety First.

    Anyway, I am jacking the protein back up to 90-110 g. I think that was protein deficiency talking, and I am training again now, so legit.

    So, here is a VERY PROUD ticker update:




    Sept 10, 2012: 20+ hrs fast, 1035 cals, 29/9 carbs (10%), 60 g protein, 75 g fat (66%). Walking, cardio SS (40 min), stretch (10 min)
    Sept 11, 2012: 16+ hrs fast, 1370 cals, 27/9 carbs, 94 g protein, 97 g fat (64%); Lifting (deload, SQT 5x5) + 20 min X-trainer; 1 hr walk
    Sept 12, 2012: 22 hrs fast, 980 cals, 16/6.5 carbs, 40 g protein; 86 g fat (78%); Recovery, some strolling during field trip.
    Sept 13, 2012: 15 hrs fast, 1310 cals, 29/8 g carbs, 101 g protein, 88 g fat (59%); 20 min x-trainer; 20 min light lifting; ~ 50 min walk
    Sept 14, 2012: >1300 cals (but did not count add-on in time); Lifting + 20 min swim, ~ 1 hr walking
    Sept 15, 2012: Not counted macros; Play day (pool, walking, garden)
    Sept 16, 2012: Not counted macros; Lifting + 20 min x-trainer; walking, a little gardening
    Sept 17, 2012: ~ 1400 cals, 34 g/11 g carbs, 88 g protein, 104 g fat (65 %); ~2 hrs walking, light gardening
    Sept 18, 2012: 1480 cals, 33/7 g carbs, 108 g protein, 105 g fat (61%); ~ 1.5 hrs walking, Lifting (OHP)
    Sept 19, 2012: 1600 cals, 33/8 g carbs, 101 g protein, 119 g fat (66%) ~ 2 walking, Stretch
    Sept 20, 2012: 1335 cals, 36/14 carbs; 65 g protein, 106 g fat (70%) ~ 35 min x-trainer, 3x15 snatches w 20# KB, 90 min walking, stretch
    Sept 21, 2012: ~ 1300 cals; walking (~90 min)
    Sept 22-Sept 23: No accurate count of calories; Moving slowly (a day in the mall, and a day of cooking and gardening)
    Sept 24: 1530 cals, 41/15 carbs, 63 g protein, 73% fat; ~ 80 min walking; 36 min x-trainer
    Sept 25: 1660 cals, 36/13 carbs, 63 g protein, 78% fat, ~ 90 min walking, lifting, 20 min x-trainer.
    Sept 26: 1450 cals, 36/10 carbs, 57 g protein, 76% fat. ~ 2 hrs walking
    Sept 27: 1440 cals, 32/9 carbs, 90 g protein, 66% fat. Lifting (BP), ~ 90 min walking
    Last edited by Leida; 09-28-2012 at 05:56 AM.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  5. #75
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    Lol! I am in the "whale" zone. I live in my fat pants coz nothing else fits *cry*

    I grew up in England & I never would have been able to resist the chocolates either. They're soooo good!

    Your exercise routine is pretty badass. Before I was pregnant, I did the whole chronic cardio thing. I've actually never lifted seriously. I'm going to start the gym in a few days & honestly I'm intimidated by the weights section - esp with the buff dudes there.
    Start Weight: 63.6kg/140lbs
    Goal Weight: 54kg/118lbs

  6. #76
    Leida's Avatar
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    Psst, the buff dudes are there for enhancing your experience. Free entertainment while you are lifting. SOmetimes that's the only thing that keeps me going, I swear. In the cardio room, there are only those stupid born-gazelle gals....
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  7. #77
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    I have a hard time not bursting out laughing at some of the gym dudes. It's only my sense of self-preservation that stops me, because falling over laughing mid-squat would be a Very Bad Idea.
    “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

    Owly's Journal

  8. #78
    Leida's Avatar
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    Lol, yep, we have a high school next to the gym, and a senior's complex down the road, so there is the entire generational representation. Some of it is funny, some scary, some awe-inspiring....
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  9. #79
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    Speaking of scary, the other night we were bench pressing and my partner just about had to go rescue a guy who was going really heavy on the bench with no spotter and almost dropped the bar on his chest. Very worrying.

    But yes, some of the people are amazing to watch, so strong or sometimes just so determined and working hard. I don't care what shape someone is in, seeing someone doing their honest best is inspiring.
    “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

    Owly's Journal

  10. #80
    Leida's Avatar
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    Same here.

    Woke up v. hungry. Sleep was atrocious. Well, cleaned the kitchen, took tape measurements. Waiting till 6:30 am to take the control weight. But eww, I look like a Pillsbury dough.

    I actually hit 1300 cals yesterday. Adding protein back to 90-110 g helped. Maybe my body is cheating by converting it into sugar, but to hell with it. I had a good swim; well, in the beginning it was slow for the first 700 m because there were 2 other very slow swimmers on the lane. Then I got my own lane, so I could alternate breast-stroke and front krall and back krall - however you spell it in English, lol! I had to kick my butt out of the pool after 45 min. I think I put in only 1,600 or 1,700 m at most, with the slow start, but it was nice. I weighed my backpack, it is about 18 lbs.

    Ticker update:





    If I make it to 100 Savory Primal Days, I will do like 2 weeks (or as long as I can take it) raw vegan. Well, that was a good day at least. But another bad night. Argh. If the weigh in is a bad one too, that would suck. I fought hard this week!

    Sept 10, 2012: 20+ hrs fast, 1035 cals, 29/9 carbs (10%), 60 g protein, 75 g fat (66%). Walking, cardio SS (40 min), stretch (10 min)
    Sept 11, 2012: 16+ hrs fast, 1370 cals, 27/9 carbs, 94 g protein, 97 g fat (64%); Lifting (deload, SQT 5x5) + 20 min X-trainer; 1 hr walk
    Sept 12, 2012: 22 hrs fast, 980 cals, 16/6.5 carbs, 40 g protein; 86 g fat (78%); Recovery, some strolling during field trip.
    Sept 13, 2012: 15 hrs fast, 1310 cals, 29/8 g carbs, 101 g protein, 88 g fat (59%); 20 min x-trainer; 20 min light lifting; ~ 50 min walk
    Sept 14, 2012: >1300 cals (but did not count add-on in time); Lifting + 20 min swim, ~ 1 hr walking
    Sept 15, 2012: Not counted macros; Play day (pool, walking, garden)
    Sept 16, 2012: Not counted macros; Lifting + 20 min x-trainer; walking, a little gardening
    Sept 17, 2012: ~ 1400 cals, 34 g/11 g carbs, 88 g protein, 104 g fat (65 %); ~2 hrs walking, light gardening
    Sept 18, 2012: 1480 cals, 33/7 g carbs, 108 g protein, 105 g fat (61%); ~ 1.5 hrs walking, Lifting (OHP)
    Sept 19, 2012: 1600 cals, 33/8 g carbs, 101 g protein, 119 g fat (66%) ~ 2 walking, Stretch
    Sept 20, 2012: 1335 cals, 36/14 carbs; 65 g protein, 106 g fat (70%) ~ 35 min x-trainer, 3x15 snatches w 20# KB, 90 min walking, stretch
    Sept 21, 2012: ~ 1300 cals; walking (~90 min)
    Sept 22-Sept 23: No accurate count of calories; Moving slowly (a day in the mall, and a day of cooking and gardening)
    Sept 24: 1530 cals, 41/15 carbs, 63 g protein, 73% fat; ~ 80 min walking; 36 min x-trainer
    Sept 25: 1660 cals, 36/13 carbs, 63 g protein, 78% fat, ~ 90 min walking, lifting, 20 min x-trainer.
    Sept 26: 1450 cals, 36/10 carbs, 57 g protein, 76% fat. ~ 2 hrs walking
    Sept 27: 1440 cals, 32/9 carbs, 90 g protein, 66% fat. Lifting (BP), ~ 90 min walking
    Sept 28: 1310 cals, 36/11 g carbs, 90 g protein, 61% fat. 2 hrs walking, 45 min swim, stm.rm
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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