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Thread: Journal Attempt #2 page 5

  1. #41
    Leida's Avatar
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    Okay, so mom is starting wheat free today, or at least she said, she would.
    Me, i am very confused. I guess, I have this habit of doing everything right, and when I get conflicting messages, I can't compute. This issues with the scale. I was sort of being proud of staying off the scale, but now I am reading and scoring the Body Image workbook, and it sounds to me like I am having avoidance issue. I am tempted to forget about how I look. I thought it was a good thing. Now I am not so sure. This self-help books mess with my head!
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  2. #42
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    My training was good yesterday, despite feeling dizzy. I managed all the lifts. That was my first training session this week, but I think it was good for me to take a day off yesterday and just do garden.

    I managed to fit into my normal pants today, not too bad, but now my stomach just inflated like a stupid balloon. Sheesh, stretch marks long gone, been gone for years, but the super-ability to bloat up is forever. PMS? Seaweed? Digestion acting up? Or, the real fear, am I subtly overeating again and pushing 130 lbs already? The desire to get on the scale this morning was very strong. Gods, what I won't give to become one of those people who struggle with eating 1200 calories a day. Why do I always eat like an elephant? I will try to skip an allocated egg and 1/2 cup of ew before the gym. Here, have some coconut oil, the insatiable maw.

    Bench press today. And, I suppose, I will need to run the sprints tomorrow, not that I want to. I wanna roller-blade, but I compromised on taking RB home, since I will have the parking. Will try to kick my butt in gear to go RB Saturday afternoon after lunch. Gotta create an image of my stomach in my mind... not that it ever made me push the plate away.

    P.S Only 50 min to go at work. Maybe I can sneak a quick stretch in.
    Last edited by Leida; 09-06-2012 at 12:42 PM.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  3. #43
    Leida's Avatar
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    Yeah, skipped the egg/ew, no problems.

    Nah, no dice on the stretch, the quiet room was occupied

    The workout was pretty neato. Finally benched 90 lbs again, though not without an odd wiggling. Same thing happened that yesterday: totally wiped at 2 pm, kindda queasy when starting lifting but no loss of strength, just endurance, then barely scrape myself off the floor after the lifting, then attach myself to the elliptical, and after a few minutes full reversal/recovery running harder and harder. And then walking home uphill with a 10+ lbs backpack fresher than in the morning. Hunger gone.

    But hungry for supper, might have OD'd cabbage (broiled w butter and cheese)

    Still flaky on the scale. Keeping myself from weighing in.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  4. #44
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    Okay trying for a large breakfast with extra coconut oil in it instead of quark and coconut milk. I used 2 eggs, some egg whites to create the base for micro-waving them, and mixed in maybe 2 tbsp of coconut butter after heating the works in the micro. It was ooey, goey and yum.

    Put brie and sundried tomatoes in oil on the shopping list. Really crave baked brie with crudites for Saturday 'no cooking' supper.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  5. #45
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    Wearing fat pants. Disgusting. Looking at my schedule to see when I can kick in Ultimate Diet 2.0. I have had it with this weight. I did soul-searching, and I just don't want to be 130 lbs. I can give up on the 115 lbs, but not on 120 lbs. We will be away on the 22 nd of September, so I should kick-start UD2.0 on September 24th.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  6. #46
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    16 hrs fast so far, 2 cups of broth. Now, entering the hard zone after 2 pm, need to hold on in the office for 1 hr 30 min. Went to the washroom, checked the belly bulge. Meditated on how I will look in the pool after work. Made green tea. With luck the thought of the pool should be enough to keep The Maw in check. As additional measure decided I would weigh in after the pool, and record the weight in the FD. Ouch.

    Scheduled the first PT Session on Thursday.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  7. #47
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    All right, did 20+ hour fast yesterday, the 18th hour was crappy. After all the psyching up to go swimming, the pool was closed due to contamination. But me being me, I had the dry-land rags with me, so I went on the cardio machines for 40 min, in a pretty lousy steady state. The cross-trainer was not available so I barely squeezed out 250 cals from a bike & a traditional elliptical.

    Waved good-bye to Quark yesterday. Oh, well. Somehow the restrictions just don't cause the same heart-broken feeling when you look like a whale.

    This morning though I had a good lifting deload session, did 5x5 of squats on the 95lbs, and normal support, then hit the X-trainer for 20 min. Sore and tired now, but I have a day full of meeting so hoping to stick to a good 16 hr fast and keep under 1300 today. The weight this morning was a freakish 127.4 lbs. I must have put on 3 or so lbs over the weekend for it to be this high today. I am falling back into the habit of tracking.

    Sept 10, 2012: 20+ hrs fast, 1035 cals, 29/9 carbs (10%), 60 g protein, 75 g fat (66%). Walking, cardio SS (40 min), stretch (10 min)
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  8. #48
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    Disappointment of the day: Got e-mail from mom, it says, she is too hungry after gardening all day so she decided to keep eating bread. What a load of... But, that's her choice.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  9. #49
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    Not good at all. Today's weight is still up, in fact up from yesterday. 127.7 lbs. I must be grossly under-estimating the calories in the broth? Or is it salt in seaweed? Waiting on the major digestive event? Well, Tibetan tea today (3 tbsp of cultured butter) and maybe a few eggs after the trip. That's gotta give me an accurate count.

    Sept 10, 2012: 20+ hrs fast, 1035 cals, 29/9 carbs (10%), 60 g protein, 75 g fat (66%). Walking, cardio SS (40 min), stretch (10 min)
    Sept 11, 2012: 16+ hrs fast, 1370 cals, 27/9 carbs, 94 g protein, 97 g fat (64%); Lifting (deload) + 20 min X-trainer; 1 hr walk
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  10. #50
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    Today's task for me is to concentrate and meditate on the process rather than progress, before I drive myself to break down. One, two, three... think process.... Tibetan tea awaits.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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