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Thread: What the HELL do I do now? page 3

  1. #21
    Metric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jojohaligo View Post
    If your issue is that she is finding it hard to shop for and cook two meals...you could do the extra meat shopping...

    1. and prepare parts of the meal ahead of time, or
    2. prepare them at the same time that she is cooking...(yes, it's possible - just pour a little wine for both of you while you are both cooking)...for example, you could plan to use the outdoor grill while she uses the stove or vice versa.

    ...so that you can all sit down together for a family meal.
    +1 Roasts are great for preparing ahead of time because they last a few days. I throw the roast in the slow cooker overnight and then the meat portion is ready for a few days, just need to reheat (usually pan-fry it in some sort of fat just before eating). Super quick and easy!!

  2. #22
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    I would suggest that you worry about breakfast and lunch being PB and dinner as Vegetarian, won't hurt you so long as you avoid their non food foods. Do your own shopping and meat prep and let her do what makes her happy. Peace in the home is more important than being right most of the time.

    And we all know about how some people get defensive about their choice of lifestyle Just don't eat the baked goods, make it clear and ask that she not put it in your face.

    I would also be concerned for the toddler, I have heard of a lot of nutrition issues with vegetarian raised kids.
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  3. #23
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    I don't know much about the husband/wife dynamic, but this is what I'd do:

    1.) Cook my own meals so not to inconvenience her with the meat.

    2.) Don't bring it up.

    I saw an interesting dynamic happen with my friends. They knew I drastically changed my diet and at first thought it was weird. Then something interesting happened. It started working. My body composition started changing drastically, I got into much better shape, my allergies went away, my skin cleared up, etc. Suddenly, I had them asking me questions about health and nutrition, and my opinion on food suddenly had a lot more credibility. Slowly, they started adapting my eating habits out of curiosity and another interesting thing happened - they started feeling a little better. While none of my friends are Primal or Paleo, a bunch are now a lot more aware of their food, they all eat A LOT less pasta and bread and a lot more meat, fruits and vegetables.

    Your wife may not be remotely interested right now, but if you don't rub it in her face and bring it up and it starts working for you, she may start subconsciously adapting some of your habits. In a few years, she may even join you in your quest. I think the biggest key is not to force it on her or she'll resist out of spite like a teen will rebel from her parents.

    Another interesting thing you may want to do: buy The Vegetarian Myth.

    http://www.amazon.com/The-Vegetarian...8902776&sr=8-1

    DON'T BUY IT FOR HER! Buy it for you just to read. Don't even mention it, but read it very slowly. She'll just notice you reading it. Leave it around sitting on the coffee table. Since she's a stay at home mom, she may sneak a read while you're at work. She definitely won't read it in front of you, but the title may interest her curiosity. This reminds me of the whole tactic some men employ to coax their wives to lose weight - you can't ask her to lose weight (you'll get in trouble), but if you buy her clothes for her birthday that are a size too small, you'll both be able to appear like the hero because you think she's smaller than she really is, and she ALSO has to suffer the subconscious shame of going to the store to return it for a larger size. Devious, but effective.

    Just my opinion.
    Last edited by ChocoTaco369; 06-05-2012 at 06:28 AM.
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  4. #24
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    My partner is not a vegetarian but I think if given a choice between going vegetarian or eating as much beef as I do he'd pick vegetarian.

    At first there was a lot of strain when I adopted this diet. I tried to explain how I needed it to lose weight because I was metabolically broken and this was supposed to help. When I lost 25lbs I gained quite a bit of credibility.

    However, he did tell me at one point he didn't want to eat so much meat. It was just too much for him. He had accepted that eating this way was important to me but I had to also see that NOT eating this way was important to him.

    So I cook all the meat I want for breakfast for myself. I try to get as much protein in for breakfast as I can knowing that for dinner I might only get a couple pieces of shrimp or some weak skinless chicken breast or maybe just lentils and rice.

    We came to an agreement to make chicken and fish and lighter fare for dinner and I would put the spaghetti sauce on a sweet potato and eat my burritos without the tortilla. I only have to compromise over dinner, and honestly, chicken and fish isn't a big hardship (although watching him spray the pan with Pam makes me cringe).

    The funny thing is at first he was angry and critical about what I ate. Then he would tease and make fun. Now, if I'm not mistaken, I think he actually wants my food. I pretend to assume that the rules we established continue: the meat is mine, the bread is his, but his bread isn't cinnamon swirl anymore it's some kind of dense European traditional stuff. I'm starting to think that one day he's going to announce that he's going to try paleo, but if I say ANYthing now, I will ruin everything.
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  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by magicmerl View Post
    As other have said, I don't think you can really expect her to cook your meat for you.

    But cooking a vegetable centric meal where you have a little meat on the side (that you cook yourself) seems like a reasonable compromise.

    How about this? You eat steaks for lunch, and eat fish / vegetarian at home. Does that sound workable?
    Very workable... we were talking about it last night. The problem is she LOVES pasta, rice, etc. We just need to find some meals that are, as previously states, 'vegetable centric' and she and my son can have the pasta/rice and I'll make and have the meat.
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  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Warmbear View Post
    I would suggest that you worry about breakfast and lunch being PB and dinner as Vegetarian, won't hurt you so long as you avoid their non food foods. Do your own shopping and meat prep and let her do what makes her happy. Peace in the home is more important than being right most of the time.

    And we all know about how some people get defensive about their choice of lifestyle Just don't eat the baked goods, make it clear and ask that she not put it in your face.

    I would also be concerned for the toddler, I have heard of a lot of nutrition issues with vegetarian raised kids.
    Thanks. My son (almost 3yrs now) eats a fairly balanced diet. He loves his organic chicken nuggets and fish sticks and eggs. He eats beans and some veggies, though mostly cooked into other foods.
    Re-Starting Paleo January 10, 2013

    SW - 185.4 lbs Janury 10, 2013
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    Goal- 168 lbs Full Performance Level PBF, 32" waist, lean...

    MY PALEO JOURNAL

    "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that it is often difficult to verify their authenticity."
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  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heidi View Post
    I think your wife is being selfish. She sees you're on an eating plan that's increasing your health status. A loving partner would support this. You work hard all day to provide your family with a roof over their heads and food on the table, the least your wife can do is cook that food. Sure, it may be out of her realm and take a little more effort, but it's not asking the moon and the stars. You need to gently remind her of this. You've already gotten great advice from others on how to make the cooking easier for your wife. All the best to you!
    I surely hope this in jest.

    I think the others have given some good ideas. You could also get a crockpot and just ask her to flip it to warm if needed. Then just add some meat to the veggies she's already making.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by teach2183 View Post
    I surely hope this in jest.

    I think the others have given some good ideas. You could also get a crockpot and just ask her to flip it to warm if needed. Then just add some meat to the veggies she's already making.
    I don't think my wife is being selfish at all. (Though I don't think the above post was in jest!) It's a major change in lifestyle for the whole family and requires careful transition not to upset the delicate balance that is our family equilibrium....OWWW! That hurt my brain! I am getting great ideas from this post and want to thank everyone. This has led to some very positive discussions with my wife.
    Last edited by jllundqu; 06-05-2012 at 09:48 AM.
    Re-Starting Paleo January 10, 2013

    SW - 185.4 lbs Janury 10, 2013
    CW- 179.8 lbs
    Goal- 168 lbs Full Performance Level PBF, 32" waist, lean...

    MY PALEO JOURNAL

    "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that it is often difficult to verify their authenticity."
    ~ Abraham Lincoln

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by jllundqu View Post
    I don't think my wife is being selfish at all. (Though I don't think the above post was in jest!) It's a major change in lifestyle for the whole family and requires careful transition not to upset the delicate balance that is our family equilibrium....OWWW! That hurt my brain! I am getting great ideas from this post and want to thank wveryone. This has led to some very positive discussions with my wife.
    Positive discussion is what it's all about, whether in agreement, or not.
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  10. #30
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    In my family I have a vegetarian, a vegan, a carb lover and me. I just make a meat of some sort, a salad "bar" where they can put what they want on the salad (homemade dressing), at least 2 veggies, and a grain. Lay it out buffet style and let them eat what they want.

    From the time I had my kids someone didn't like something that I made for dinner for some reason or another. No big deal, I just have enough options that every one can end up with a reasonably complete meal.

    p.s no your wife is not being selfish. She most likely thinks being vegetarian is a healthier choice and is worried for your health. Also, the smells of making meat can be off putting.
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