My sister is marrying a vegan. I have already had this discussion with her. Her fiancée hasn't eaten meat since age five and has already said multiple times that it will never happen. Her fiancée is not overweight, but nor is her fiancée in the peak of health either. Her fiancée has serious muscle mass issues, and has been told to up the protein intake from more than one doctor and nutritionist but just won't! Aside from doubling down on the over-salted soy burgers.
It's a message that's never going to take and I have just learned to accept it. *sigh*
But damn, it's hard watching my sister's loved one eating a diet that's ruining their health. But you really can't force it on them. Take my case. If I did, my sister would stop talking to me and call me a jerk and an insensitive moron and I'd ruin my relationship with her.
People make their own decisions you know? As the great Paul McCartney once said, "live and let die."
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As other have said, I don't think you can really expect her to cook your meat for you.
But cooking a vegetable centric meal where you have a little meat on the side (that you cook yourself) seems like a reasonable compromise.
How about this? You eat steaks for lunch, and eat fish / vegetarian at home. Does that sound workable?
I think your wife is being selfish. She sees you're on an eating plan that's increasing your health status. A loving partner would support this. You work hard all day to provide your family with a roof over their heads and food on the table, the least your wife can do is cook that food. Sure, it may be out of her realm and take a little more effort, but it's not asking the moon and the stars. You need to gently remind her of this. You've already gotten great advice from others on how to make the cooking easier for your wife. All the best to you!
I'm retraining and strengthening my taste buds, one primal meal at a time.
The way we do things is we start with our veg, not our meat. We did this back when I was vegan and DH was WAPF.
I would create a menu for the week of several vegan meals that had diverse foods that fit within both our tastes and the guidelines of vegan and WAPF. Btw, I never baked bread, etc, so no big deal there for me.
Then, we would make meat on top of that -- usually things that we easy like roasted chickens, meat loaf, and things like brisket and pulled pork. Then DH would eat those over several days.
And, so I see "three pots" in this process for her. First, the base meal is delicious, grain-and-bean free vegan fare. Second, she creates the grains, beans, cheese, and eggs for herself (cheese and eggs for you if you eat it) and her toddler. And third, she uses a crock pot or similar and makes the meat for you.
The real difficulty is simply finding the recipes that work for all three of you. In our house, it's pretty easy because I make a lot of vegetarian (well, not any more, I use bone broth now) soups, and we also make a lot of salads. So that's our "base" for most of our meals. And then we make eggs, chicken, fish, or other meat to go with it. When I was vegan, I might make some potatoes or nut pate or something to go with it, you know? Or, just eat more soup/salad like I preferred. Anyway. . .
1. and prepare parts of the meal ahead of time, or
2. prepare them at the same time that she is cooking...(yes, it's possible - just pour a little wine for both of you while you are both cooking)...for example, you could plan to use the outdoor grill while she uses the stove or vice versa.
...so that you can all sit down together for a family meal.
Female, age 51, 5' 9"
SW - 183 (Jan 22, 2012), CW - 159, GW - healthy.
Met my 2012 goals by losing 24 pounds.
2013 goals are to get fit and strong!
Paleo with a side of rice/pasta/bread/etc. is not difficult at all, and essentially how I cook for guests. Just like you can make virtually any non-pastry recipe paleo by swapping the processed carbs for veggies, simply reverse that process, and set it up so that the vegetarian doesn't have to pick around meat (or go without a decent protein source like lentils or tempeh) and the paleoguy doesn't have to pick around the grains or choke down a pile of lettuce.
e.g. -Meatballs, marinara sauce, pasta, garlic bread and broccoli-carrot-cauliflower mash.
-Rice, black beans, pulled pork/chorizo/chicken/steak, salsa, and avocado
-Eggs, homefries, steak, sauteed spinach, mushrooms, & tomatoes, sourdough toast
-Roasted root vegetable medley, chorizo, eggs, and rice
-Vegetable curry, roasted chicken, white rice & lentils, naan
you get the idea.
The only part where this does get difficult is in the cleanup, since you're having to separate things that could otherwise go in one pot, like meat sauce. So you might compromise by offering to do the dishes in return for having her go that extra mile.
Last edited by Chaohinon; 06-04-2012 at 07:19 PM.
“The whole concept of a macronutrient, like that of a calorie, is determining our language game in such a way that the conversation is not making sense." - Dr. Kurt Harris
My wife isn't a veg but she isn't Paleo either. She occasionally make snide coments about paleo. I like beef heart and tongue, and my steaks rare. She thinks it's all gross. What I do is slow cook the tongue and hearts, cut them up, and then freeze them in a ziplock. You could the same thing.
Also, buy a dehydrated for making jerky. Here is whaf I do: I buy 20lbs of pre-sliced meat at a butcher shop and dry if myself. Ive made it no seasoning and it comes out good. I don't use high heat, about 135 degrees. Then I freeze it. It looks like jerky but it's basically rare. My wife likes. A coworker what's me to make him some. The lower heat has a better flavor and without the salt is very paleo. It makes a meal.
Will it spoil at that low heat? No. Once the outer skin dries bacteria won't grow. That's why grok could dry meat in the sun...which I've also done and it works fine. It's no different than sun dried fruit and tomatoes
Would I be putting a grain-feed cow on a fad diet if I took it out of the feedlot and put it on pasture eating the grass nature intended?
i've been primal for 3 years. before that, my husband and i were both strong vegetarians. after i went primal, he stuck with his meatless ways for a bit. not, we are both on the meat wagon, but he loves grains and carbs and starches.
he eats rice, bread, noodles at every meal and the occasional drive-through. he is very carby, and doesn't practice at all the primal thing, though he understands and agrees that is the best for the body.
i have been cooking for both of us for years this way. i find overlapping ingredients, in your case fruits, veggies, eggs, nuts.. cook 'em up like i eat 'em -stir-fry, italian sautee etc., and add my meat to my plate, and have husband cook his own damn rice.
i'm a nice lady, and a great cook, but if he wants to eat cereal-filler, that's all him. he may not agree with "depriving" one self of grain, but he and i also both agree from a budget perspective that filling ourselves on nutritionally void "foods" is expensive and senseless. so if he wants to eat that crap, he cooks it.
i don't waste my time trying to convince him, i just make him do his appropriate share to eat grains.