Skinny girl to fat girl and back to skinny girl - for life page 5

[June68]

So far no Sam.

I am hitting the afternoon munchie time though. I'm not hungry and won't eat, but I realize now that I usually was hungry at this time and nearly always had a snack. Usually Cheez-Its which I love, or salsa & tortilla chips. The urge for the mechanical side of snacking has hit me. The act of snack, not the need to eat if you know what I mean. It's strange. It hasn't hit me any other day up to now (today is day 7 of all Primal eating). I know I'm being ridiculous, but damn does the human animal take to routine or what?

King wasn't kidding when he called it Full Dark, No Stars, Jenn. Dark indeed. The first story is Poe-esque to the max though I can forgive him for that. I think another part of my 'reading dithers' is that since I finished the last Dumas novel I read, nothing else comes close to satisfying me literarily. I guess it's going to be another one up next soon - part 3 in the d'artagnan romances.

I guess I'll go through the (undoubtedly lousy) shots I took in my short walk in the woods today. Just to keep myself from the Cheez Its and the Sam.

[jenn26point2]

The first two stories are dark. I liked the Poe-esque nature of the first one. I'm a Poe fan, though. The second one to me was gratifying. I'm just starting the third story and it's reminding me a lot of a cross between "Thinner" and "Insomnia". We'll see where it goes.

[June68]

I couldn't get through Insomnia...it had the opposite effect on me.

[jenn26point2]

It was kind of slow at times. But I'm a die hard and usually refuse to stop reading a novel by SK even if I think it sucks. I haven't been successful with Desperation yet.

[June68]

I give up if I'm not into it. I couldn't finish Under the Dome and I'm not sorry about it. Life is too short and there are too many books I will enjoy reading to do that.

Anyway...I'm up. It's frigging cold for June up this way and I'm not happy about it, but nature isn't going to change for me. Slept reasonably well, but woke early and just dozed a little until the sun was up, then so was I. The nice thing about the iPad is I could stay in bed and still catch up on my web life. Now I'm enjoying my coffee and soon the smell of bacon cooking will reach me from the kitchen. Not too shabby.

I'm hungry, but lately I've noticed that my hunger has taken on a different quality. I think now that my body is adjusting the way it takes up nutrients, it's only my stomach that is hungry, not my brain. That's the difference I think. That my hunger isn't the sucking black hole of emptiness distracting me to the exclusion of everything else, now it's just a sensation in my gut that I pay attention to, but can still function and do stuff. The emergency brain-is-dying effect has been reduced. Nice.

Yesterday was another day of no snacking. I don't believe I've ever had days like that before. Snacking was normal and so I've always done it. But I just wasn't hungry. I wanted the act of snack, but not the food. I think it will take some time before the impulse to eat at 4:00 goes away.

Dinner last night was a meatza. The 'crust' of 1/2 ground pork, 1/2 ground beef was a bit soupy and he drained off a lot of juice before and after we put the toppings on, but overall it was pretty great. Toppings were mushrooms, pepper, pepperoni, cheese, sauce (a very good marinara with no chemicals or added sugar) and spinach. It were tasty. I had some strawberries for dessert and watched the making of . Geezer is my hero. I just love that guy. Such an underrated musician. The intro to NIB is mindblowing. Anyway...

Saturday morning is when we do our shopping and this time it will be a quest for fat. There's just none in the house. Even so, I had a pretty good week of primal eating and am not craving anything I used to eat. Oh sure I'd like to have some Biscoffs with my coffee, but I won't and I don't feel awful about it.

Here's one of the shots I've been working on -

[June68]

Well that was kind of weird. Going to the grocery store and not going in any of the middle aisles (except for TP). I've heard it said that a person would eat best if she only shopped on the outer ring, but I'd never done it before. It was kind of surreal. I kept thinking that I was forgetting something. Now our refrigerator is stuff to the gills and not with chicken for once!

OTOH, it was a bit frustrating to find sausage without corn syrup in it...what the hell does sausage need with corn syrup? Bah. Also could not find full fat yogurt and had to get by with low fat made with 2% milk. Oh well.

We've not moved to organic much of anything yet. There's only so much change we can take on board at the moment. And we're still figuring out the cost of eating this way v. the old way. If we don't get everything perfect at one go, we'll just work on it until we are comfortable.

My Starbucks order has not changed, but his has - no more skinny, caramel lattes for him.

Anyway...for breakfast he fried up some bacon and made a 3 duck egg omelet with cheddar, spinach and mushrooms. I added an 8oz glass of V8 as well. Am still not hungry. Sweet.

That's one thing we didn't have to try to manage - snack foods. I just haven't been snacking and neither has he. It's another nice effect of our shift in eating.

[June68]

oh and one other thing I noticed. I drank quite a bit of red wine with dinner last night (an old bottle of Four Vines Biker. Sweet.) and didn't wake up with that red wine syndrome I usually have. Bonus!

[June68]

Bah, this is annoying. Sore throat 2 days running. Otherwise I feel pretty great. I have no idea what's going on.

Anyway...gigantic breakfast held me until 3 miles into my 5 mile walk when I actually started to feel hungry. That was probably 3:00 or so. Amazing. Before walk I started a new strength training routine doing the big 5 movements, mostly just practicing for form and remembering the movements. I was a pretty hardcore weightlifter for a decade or so and I'm sure it will all come back to me. Here's what I'm planning -

Deadlift w/20 or 25lb dumbbells depending on how my back responds
Arnold presses - 20lb db
floor chest press (until I find a bench or a big ball) 20/25lb db
goblet squat w/25lb db (until I find something heavier)
carry - carry 20/25lb dbs around the yard

3-5 reps, 3-5 sets depending how I feel. no lifting to failure. What a huge change from my previous lifting routine. But we'll see how it goes. I really want to get a bench though. Chest press is my favorite. I loved doing flyes especially. Feeling that stretch and pressing back up. That was great. Arnold presses are almost as fun.

Anyway...I had very little in the way of carbs today and I'm sure I was in ketosis all day which is what I need right now to get this weight shifted. I think my thighs are smaller than they were earlier in the week, but I'm not measuring until Monday.

Soon I think I shall answer the call of a martini. Bourbon just wouldn't feel right on this throat of mine right now. Even if we just got some Blanton's and I haven't even tasted it yet. Doh! I did smell it though and it's got much more caramel on the nose than our regular bourbons. Anyway, that's my update!

[June68]

ah, coffee. how I love thee.

Slept ok, but woke often with cats being pests and my sore throat which is worse than yesterday and now accompanied by a cough. Just what I need. Am sore from the weights, too, but that's not a bad thing. Today I think will be a rest and recoup day. Maybe I can avoid getting sicker.

Last night's dinner -
pre-dinner vodka martini w/1 onion
T-bone steak w/grilled asparagus & a big salad of veg + goat cheese, 1 bottle Terry Hoage The 46 2008. Oh how I love The 46.

[primally_yours]

I wish cats understood the idea of sleeping in on weekends.

Rest up, hope you feel better soon!