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Thread: Skinny girl to fat girl and back to skinny girl - for life page 4

  1. #31
    June68's Avatar
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    Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

    Attributed to Albert Einstein, and completely encapsulates the problem with CW and weight loss. I’ve been mulling things over in my head the last couple of days; my reasons for trying PB and my thoughts now that I’ve started.

    Like my journal intro entry says, I was always the skinny girl. Years and years of being told how great I looked and how skinny etc gave me a body image that was pretty good. I didn’t have to work at it either, so I don’t have the same struggle of sorrow that many life-long overweight people have had. I had other sorrows, but not that.

    Still, I have become the fat girl.

    How?

    By eating low-calorie, low-fat and staying active.


    But you didn’t try hard enough! You must have cheated! You should have done another 10 minutes on the eliptical. You should have gone to level 9 on it, too. You didn’t lift enough weight. You cheated too many times. You drank orange juice instead of water. You didn’t go to the gym twice a day. Why are you walking? Don’t you know you should be running?

    You shouldn't.
    You didn’t.


    Sure, probably some of the endless dieter and exercisers must have cheated, skipped workouts and sneaked off to McDonalds, but not ALL OF THEM and that’s basically how many have failed to lose flab and maintain a healthy weight with cardio and low-carb and low-fat. None of the fat and sick people I’ve ever known wanted to be fat and sick.

    So why don’t we look at what we’re doing and eating instead of blaming ourselves? Why don’t we question CW? Why is it always our fault? Why is it we are the failures? Why isn’t it the system failing that’s us instead?

    Because failure is such a motivator, right?

    And here I am forsaking everything that I’ve done. Everything that I’ve known to be “true”. Everything the government, doctors, experts and food companies say I should do. I bought ground pork today. And pork sausages. And 85% lean ground beef. And it was hard - these things are buried away under the “good stuff”. Also, my first impulses whenever reaching for something were for the turkey sausage, the ground chicken and the 95% lean beef. Now I’m buying fat. Animal fat.

    Am I crazy?

    I hope not. The Primal Blueprint is either all crap and I’ll gain 10 pounds this week and my cholesterol will go up a little and I’ll have thrown those pretzels away for nothing. No one is going to put me in jail for trying this and it makes sense when I read it, so I’m giving it a try. Maybe doing the opposite of everything I’ve been taught, everything I’ve been doing will mean the results will be the opposite as well. Instead of stacking on pounds year after year I will begin to take them off.

    No, I won’t be the skinny 20-year-old I was, but I hope I can be a slimmer 40-something and on into the future without struggling, binging, starving, exercising until I drop or any of the other things that plagued my life up to now. And who knows, not blaming myself for the failure of my diet and activity level just might bring on some of that old confidence.
    Last edited by June68; 11-24-2012 at 09:39 AM.

  2. #32
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    Slept very well last night and Larry didn't bite me so that was a bonus. Woke feeling rested and more alert. Got 8 hours, too. I kind of feel like this guy -



    Not very hungry this am. Had coffee and 3 strawberries to cleanse the palate.

    Have also noticed that my hips no longer ache during the night which they had been over the last few months. We were putting it down to old age/bad bed, but I'm not old and the bed isn't either so, while I'm hesitant to chalk this up to PB, it might be and if it continues I'll be thrilled.

    Last night's dinner was cauliflower sauteed w/ garlic and pancetta, chicken breast and chardonnay. I cooked some golden beets as well and plan to use them in salad today. We attempted to eat the greens, but they're much tougher and way more bitter than red beet greens so a few forkfuls was all either of us could choke down. Pity.

    Anyway, no breakfast so far. I'll eat when I'm hungry.

  3. #33
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    Had breakfast

    2 duck egg scramble w/onion, orange bell pepper, 1 strip bacon, spinach and mushrooms. 2 pork sausage links. 4 oz V8. 1 greek strawberry yogurt cup.

    Am stuffed.

    Now thinking of going out with the camera for a while. Not sure where. Maybe over to a small mountain a few towns over. It has a great name - Uncanoonuc.

  4. #34
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    Well I tried to hike Uncanoonuc, but it was literally running with water and mud. Not much fun, so I bailed after about an hour and a half of tramping around. Not too buggy, but the dew point is high so I was also running by the time I left - with sweat mixed with bug spray...stingy eyeballs!

    So I'm back, showered and just now beginning to get hungry. I'll find something to do with my beets...a salad I'm sure. Not sure what the hell I'll find for fat or protien; there's just no back stores of stuff to have. Then out on the deck to read. Must resist getting one of the 4 remaining Sam Adams in the fridge.
    5' 9" 44 YO F
    PB start June 2, 2012
    Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)


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  5. #35
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    Your day sounds lovely. I'm completely jealous right now. I'd love to be at home reading on the deck.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  6. #36
    cmlloyd's Avatar
    cmlloyd Guest
    What cha readin?

  7. #37
    June68's Avatar
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    I really should finish an advanced review copy of Skios by Michael Frayn. Problem is I started Sisson's book, too. And Bag of Bones (S King) for an online group read. Plus I've got The Lodger by Marie Belloc Lowndes going on the iPad. I'll probably be a good girl and pick up Skios though since I have to review it. Uhg. It's my own fault. I hate when I do this to myself.
    5' 9" 44 YO F
    PB start June 2, 2012
    Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)


    PB Journal

  8. #38
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    I've read Bag of Bones. Creepy. LOVE Stephen King. Currently reading Full Dark No Stars (it's a series of rather long "short stories")
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  9. #39
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    When I am in school my books take a back seat, but i still go into barnes and nobels and just look through and read the first couple of pages of books - I am into fictional/horror like Brian Keene - On my Nook I have King's Mile 81 - just like King, slow intro then BAM! in your face guts. love it. lol.
    Step away from the Sam adams, unless you can stop at 1.
    That's why I drink Ultra. (I can't have wine)

  10. #40
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    I've read Mile 81 too... I felt it was too short.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




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