Skinny girl to fat girl and back to skinny girl - for life page 21

[jenn26point2]

A photographer and a motivational blogger! You're a jack of all trades, aren't ya? (Well, except cooking, which is fine... sometimes it really sucks).

Great post. I love it. I feel like a bad ass when I lift.

[June68]

Thanks Jenn. I'm glad you liked it. Bad ass is right. Women can kick some, too.

More proof I'm shrinking. Today I went on a walk with a couple women from a land conservation group I belong to and my only pair of hiking pants (breathable) were my old pair. The pair I bought when I was smaller. The pair I couldn't button properly anymore. Hesitantly I put them on. And buttoned them. Praise to bacon, they are actually comfortable and not so tight that I can't scramble properly (I often scramble and climb over and under things in my photography work). They could be looser at the waist, but basically they fit now.

And not a moment too soon either because another pair of pants I use as a measure haven't fit any differently in a couple weeks now. Once again I felt doubt. The specter of failure loomed. Why wasn't the fat 'melting off' like Mark says it will. Because he's a man and it's easier for him, that's why. Oy. My head knows this is a long process, but emotionally I still need those markers of success so I don't give up hope. So many other things have failed me that I seriously don't know how this failing would affect me.

But those hiking pants are proof. Also my favorite Royal Robbins shorts almost fit now. Almost. I suppose I could wear them, but they wouldn't be comfortable. I think I have an old pair of Royal Robbins pants, too, that haven't fit in years. In vain hope I think they're stashed somewhere and I'd be over the moon if I could wear them again, too. They're so useful when in the woods; lotsa pockets!

Yesterday's evening meal went like this -
PDD/S cheese | Ketel One martini w/2 onions
D | split chicken breasts with bone & skin | cauliflower sauteed with bacon | tomato & cukes w/s&p & OO | 09 Joullian Chardonnay

Slept ok, but woke in the middle of the night with a splitting headache. Took 3 advil and went back to sleep. Hubby woke me just after 6 so I wouldn't miss my outing. I was kinda awake already, but not fully. He's a sweetie.

B | coffee | 2 HBEs | lots of berries & the last of the goat's milk yogurt
L | 2 egg omelet w/fresh local scallions & tomatoes | 1/2 bratwurst | 8oz V8

Anyway...that's it for now. Am planning to get through another section of Good Calories, Bad Calories today. Am past the 1/2 way mark. It's such a dense book, but enlightening.

[June68]

Dinnah was fab last night. We were able to eat out on the deck, which makes any meal better.

PDD/S | chardonnay | fresh, local goat cheese (aged) | pistachios
D | grilled NY Strip | zucchini | onion | sauteed spinach & shallots | KG butter & bleu cheese spread for all | 05 Smith & Hook Cab

Phew. I was seriously stuffed after that, but in a good way. The shallots & zucchini were local, the rest was not, but we're gradually improving that mix.

Slept fairly well, about on par with my usual. No prolonged wakeful periods, no biting cats and no headache. Still, I was awake before 6 and out of bed at 7 after perusing the web on the iPad. Made coffee and read and semi-bird-watched. Saw what I think was a juvenile phoebe outside my front window. A beauty. Never noticed one here before.

B | failed coconut flour pancakes...the second batch just wouldn't set up, but they tasted ok | 2 bacon strips | cheese

This morning I wanted to go walk or do something outside, but it climbed to over 90F so fast that I gave it up. Did hit a rather pathetic farmers' market (2 vendors) though...it was kind of sad because I think the heat kept everyone away. Still came home with a nice, big chicken, ground beef, some lovely red lettuce and a cuke. Oh and I am wearing a shirt that was a scoosh too tight before and actually tucked it into my shorts which used to fit, but now seem baggy. OMFG...is it working???? I almost think it's too good to be true.

[June68]

L | biggish salad w/left over steak
PDD | chardonnay
D | grill roasted whole chicken from a local farm | mixed veg | 20?? Talbott Chardonnay

No dessert. Was relatively full and happy. Slept about as usual, woke, but didn't stay awake long. Actually dozed until almost 7 today, then I got up, had coffee. I think I'm switching to non-raw heavy cream because of the intense grass/hay aftertaste that just ruins my coffee. Emptied dishwasher. It seems we run it every 24 hours or so now. All this real cooking uses a ton of dishes even with just the two of us. And I do hand-wash quite a few things, like our good pans, knives and glassware.

Then I did some strength training -
5 mins TGU w/25lb db
3 x 10 deadlifts w/34lb kb
3 x 10 goblet squats w/25lb db (I think it's time to move up to the kb for these)
5 x 10-12 swings w/34lb kb
3 x 12 chest press w/25lb db
2 x 10, 1 x 8 arnold press w/20lb db

Bleah. It's so hot and gross inside or out that I am disgusting right now. Still I have stuff to do in my humid house, so I'll shower later.

B | 2 hen eggs | 3 bacon strips | 2 sauteed mushrooms | 4oz V8

Hopefully my favorite farmer, Steve, emails me back so I can meet up with him to buy some of his pastured chickens, ground beef and put in an order for 1/2 a pig. Also we're almost out of eggs. Husband is continuing to make room in the basement and do research on chest freezers, so it looks like that will happens soon. I'm pretty excited at the prospect of it.

Tomorrow am going out with my conservation group to look at and document a new piece of property we've acquired. Hopefully we won't be out long since it's going to be another scorcher.

Thomas is off his antibiotics and on his probiotics so I hope he continues to improve. I think I see a little uptick in his energy, although that could be wishful thinking.

S | 10-12 rasp and black berries
L | leftover chicken breast | l/o cauli & bacon | cheese | water | 8 or so macadamia nuts

[jenn26point2]

Hi June! I would LOVE to join a conservation group! I love nature and anything that involves it. I was just saying to my stepmom this weekend that if I could, I'd take a job as a conservation officer.

We have had some seriously hot days here too. And isn't it such an amazing feeling when you discover your clothes are too big? I noticed it with a large tshirt I work this weekend. It was awful, but definitely looked a touch big. And today a gal at work told me I look baggy (meaning my clothing). It's a good feeling when people notice.

[June68]

I thought about joining one for a while. Right now I'm a volunteer, but this seems to be where my passion really lies and so I may look for paying work within an organization I can feel passionate about.

So the day went like this -

Woke around 5:30-6, dozed for a bit. Got up from iPad surfing at 6:45. Made coffee.

B | goat's milk yogurt w/berries | 2 HBEs

Left to meet Allison. Drove up to site of easement to begin survey with Martha who owns abutting property and has much of her property under easement protection as well. Bushwhacked like CRAZY! The "trails" were so overgrown that I am totally scratched up from raspberry bushes. Oy. Dumb move. Should have zipped the lower parts of my hiking pants on for this one. Ah well, the next time I'll know. Luckily the sun stayed obscured by overcast clouds and it only got into the 80s ... with a dew point that was ridiculously high though and were were drenched in sweat within an hour. Just about when we were done, the sun came out. Recorded lots of flora and a bit of fauna judging by bird calls and moose/deer spore/tracks. And black bear sign too in the trees. I took some shots that might work as images and not just documentation, but I'll have to see.

Came back to Martha's and we had iced tea, homemade sausage, cheese and fresh peas in the pod from Martha's garden. It was delicious and it was funny when she apologized for serving crackers and brownies not knowing I was a non-grain eater. I had to laugh and ask if her crystal ball was in the shop or something, because it was a silly thing to apologize for - totally no need as the snack was terrific. I'm a bit in awe of Martha; she's a woodworker who had to leave a PhD program due to lyme disease, used to work managing recyling programs for towns and was also a grade-school teacher. She raises her own chickens (kills and butchers them, too), laying hens, bees and has a huge garden. She seems very connected to conservation efforts in and around her town and actively seeks and manages properties under easement. I am totally not that kind of woman, but I admire what she does.

So after that I tried to get some eggs at my usual farm, but once again he was out. The vagaries of lower hen production and a few people who come by once a month and buy dozens and dozens of eggs. There are now 2 doz in the fridge with my name on it that I will get after dropping hubby at the airport. After the egg failure I went and got some duck eggs in town, so we can at least have an eggy breakfast.

I literally had to scrub the dirt and grime off me today though and I think it was almost the best shower ever. Nice and cool (it was 92 today). Then I collapsed. Well, not really. Funnily enough my energy is still good. I was not really tired or depleted after my long, hot, sticky, picky morning and a small snack at 12. So great to not be on the carb-rollercoaster.

S | 4 celery sticks (local!!) w/chive goat cheese (also local...I love my goat people) and water

Dinner soon. I better go help!

[June68]

Thanks much. Yeah, the hair thing is a nice bene.

Woke up, mostly before 5, dozed, then the alarm that husband forgot to turn off went off. Ugh. Perused web for a bit. Got up. Started his breakfast, he finished it. Drove to airport, said bye. Drove to farm. Got eggs. Drove home. Made coffee.

Phew. It's shaping up to be another scorcher today so I'll be hiding in the one room with AC.

B | 1 hen egg, 1 duck egg, fried | 2 bacon strips | 2 sauteed mushrooms | 8oz V8

Finally finished Good Calories, Bad Calories yesterday. Woah. It's dense, but it really puts light on the fact that our "knowledge" of fat, carbs, nutrition, metabolism, diabetes and a host of other health-related systems, diseases and processes is built on a pile of sand; bad studies, assumptions, ego and outright lies. It challenges those same people to do the studies they won't and to admit that the studies they love are mostly BS. But since there's no money in healthy people, it won't probably get done in my lifetime. Review is here if interested - Life is too short to read bad books.: Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes, 2007 - I know I'm kind of preaching to the converted here, but what the heck.

[jenn26point2]

ljioejlad is a spammer...

Your friend with Lyme Disease would benefit from living Primally or Paleo-ly. I'm reading in "It Starts with Food" that Lyme Disease is a disease that is triggered by systemic inflammation and eating a Paleo diet will reduce systemic inflammation, eliminating her symptoms. Systemic inflammation is the problem with a lot of people. It's an interesting read, nonetheless, in my mind.

I'm glad you enjoyed your day. I'm envious of anyone who can explore the earth instead of being forced to work. I wish our life was simpler so I could quit my job - but DH and I would fight over who would actually get to stay home and who would have to bring home a check...

[June68]

I've started ISWF and boy, what a major shift from Taubes. Totally different and I can't help but feel as if I'm being talked down to with ISWF. I know in my head that the purpose and audience for that book is not the same and people will need to be spoon-fed, but oy...it's quite a change. There are good points in there, but it feels glossed over. Maybe it will be effective for newbies though. Not sure yet. I still think The Primal Blueprint is a better choice for my fam when Christmas comes around, but I need to finish it and read Taubes's more mainstream distillation of GC, BC, Why We Get Fat. Definitely giving the PB cookbooks though - those were and still are a terrific help in breaking away from traditional recipes that include stuff we don't eat anymore.

As for Martha, yeah sure, she'd probably do better, but I'm so NOT in a position to advise or preach. She didn't bat an eye about my stated non-grain status, but we didn't talk about it because it wasn't a big deal. You know? Every situation has its own feel.

I did work until a few years ago. Long hours. High stress. For a long time. I think I broke myself. We can survive on his salary. We can't play as much, but we do ok. Eventually when I feel like work won't drive me to a warm bath with razor blades (kidding, really, I wasn't never even close to it, but I was miserable), I'll go back to something. It won't be the same thing though, that's for sure.

Had a strange bout of what I think now was some kind of extreme hunger when I don't think I should have had it. 3 1/2 hours after my nice breakfast I got a bit headachey and had an acute awareness that I had a stomach. Not quite nausea...just an awareness of my stomach. So...

L | usual salad w/some leftover NY strip on top | 8 macadamia nuts

[jenn26point2]

Maybe for someone who already has a vast knowledge, it's a bit too dumbed down, but for someone without a degree in metabolism, who also needs to be motivated, I think it's a great book. I don't like the stuffy, all facts, no "personality" books. I think ISWF has personality - although it does sell the Whole30, but TPB also sold TPB...