Jac's Countdown to 50! page

[Jac]

In 287 days, 4 hours I'll be 50. I started eating primally on Feb 18th, 2011, and have been keeping a journal here that tracked my journey from a physical wreck into a new place of understanding. Now, taking a leaf from Paleobird's book, I'm restarting my journal with some goals that are related to my birthday next March.

I have pretty wicked IBS, and have tracked my triggers to dairy, nuts and nut products, too many FODMAPs in a short time, and most indigestible fibres like brassicas. I also get abdominal issues related to stress, tiredness, and over-or-under-eating. I'm also probably about 20kg overweight - maybe 25kg, and physically weak. I also know that really low carb is the fastest way to get depressed and really, awesomely angry. I'm usually pretty even tempered, but over a few weeks of low carbing I can put Cruella de Ville to shame. I need those carbs. That's the bad stuff .

The good stuff is that I'm about 11kg lighter than when I started last Feb, I'm heaps stronger, and I know what my food triggers and needs are .

Now the in-between stuff that I want to work on over these next days, weeks and months. I eat too much sugar, and am currently having a bit of a struggle with cravings. I drink coke zero - that stuff is like cocaine for me; I love it. My sleeping is a bit erratic, and I'm feeling stressed even when there isn't all that much to be stressed about! In the last few weeks I've noticed that my use of pain killers is back up - I used to take them every day, then after being primal for about 6 months I didn't need them at all. Now I'm experiencing pain again - my eating has slipped and I'm paying the price. Stimulants are appealing to me, but I want the consistent energy of good health, rather than the sharp highs and lows of supplements/substances. In spite of my cola habit, coffee gives me the jitters.

I want to get heaps stronger, and have a programme to follow that has lapsed recently. I know losing weight probably should be on this list, but honestly I don't feel like I have any control over that, so I have to chill about it. I get panicked when I try to count calories or analyse my food intake according to macronutrients, and so far have always failed at that approach.

So that's about it. This journal is about accountability - applying the things I've learned, and improving on them.

About me: I'm a lecturer/researcher at a Uni in New Zealand, I have 4 kids who have all left home, a lovely husband who hasn't left home , a big old villa in a country village where we keep ex-racing greyhounds (2 of our own, and foster dogs sometimes) and 2 ragdoll cats and work periodically on renovating. I have 2 granddaughters from daughter #2, and another grandbaby on the way from daughter # 1 (due on July 6th), who all live about 4 hours drive away. Life is very good. I want to be around for as long as I can, contributing to our family and having a great time.

Please say hi if you've dropped in!

[marthat]

Hi Jac! I just turned 50 2 years ago, and it was an entire year process for me too. Involved a major travel adventure, signing up for a marathon (on Jan 1 of my 50th year), and many other adventures and experiences.

You sound like you've had a wonderful 40's (other than the health issues, your life sounds idyllic.) Good luck to you in the journey to 50!

[Jac]

Hey, Marthat, is that your arm in your avatar? It's a very cool tattoo! My third daughter has some lovely tats - not that her dad agrees, lol, and it's something I've wondered about. It appeals on some level, ya know??

[Jac]

Freaking horrible sleep last night! Just before bed I found out that the builder wants to start our latest renovation in 2 weeks. That's really exciting, but gave me an adrenaline spike that I just didn't need at 9.30 at night. It's a big job, and one that we've been working on and planning for the last 2 years - we're removing the current (horrible) ensuite and turning what was our bedroom into a lovely big lounge (it has ornate ceilings and a window seat). Then we're turning the current lounge into our bedroom, and what used to be our son's room into an ensuite and wardrobe. It involves some demolition, resurfacing walls, creating new doors and closing over old doorways, fixing windows, and sanding back floorboards. The builder is doing the new stuff and installing the bathroom. We're doing the rest.

This weekend just past we did the floorboards in what will be the bathroom. OMFG, my muscles!! The sander we hired was a heavy orbital beast that persistently tried to shoot off around me to my left - yeah, I know that's because it's orbital - but it meant that I was on my knees, using my weaker side to chase and pull the thing back on track. It was like one of those ab circle pros gone beserk! Anyway, the sanding is done and the first 2 coats of varnish are on. In the next 2 weeks we have to finish the demolition of the old bathroom and wardrobe, pull up the carpet in the old bedroom, and add more coats to the floor. Nothing to it . Oh, and finish finding the $$ to pay for it all.

Another contributor to the rough night was that I reduced my carbs yesterday. I had mince leftovers for breakfast, chicken sushi for lunch (with a coke), and primal sausages and eggs for dinner. I woke up starving for carbs. I haven't had breakfast yet, but have a big bowl of low carb stew stuff for my meals today - it has a thick lamb stock, tomato preserves, parsnips and pumpkin. I slow cooked it overnight, and it smells divine. I have steaks and kumara sorted out for dinner. I don't want to low-carb, but I do want to reduce them a bit because somehow they'd crept into every meal and snack.

No workout yesterday - DOMS from the sanding were significant, lol.

Used pain relief last night - ibuprofen - for IBS pain. Didn't help all that much.

Ha, I didn't know I could upload photos! I thought I'd give it a try, though . . . this is the house when we bought it. The bit that juts out at the front is the window seat in what will be the lounge. Along the side of the house, the doors will be in our bedroom, and the ensuite window is just past the doors. The little window at the end is the spare room.

[Jac]

I have the countdown thing going on my ipad, which is at home - but it must be about 285 days to go. We've been talking about what to do for my birthday next year. The initial plan was to walk the Milford Track in the South Island. However, this renovation is taking over the budget in a big way, and somehow it ends up more expensive to do the Milford than it does to go to Rarotonga. Go figure . So, maybe it'll be an island escape.

Mucho pain last night - I ended up taking all the pain relief I could, just to get some sleep . It was feet, shoulders, back and belly. I figure that I should be out of the worst of it by tomorrow. I've been in a mess for quite a while, so this is all good. I'm coming out of it . . .

I had a t-bone steak for dinner last night - the first one I've ever had. I have these clear memories of Dad getting these for his dinner while Mum and us kids had lamb chops, which were cheaper back then. Frankly, I didn't much like it! It had a strong flavour, especially in the fat, and was quite tough. I think I've been spoilt by the melt-in-your-mouth scotch fillet, and slow cooking the tougher cuts of all animals. There's lamb leg steaks defrosting at home for tonight. Yummy.

[Jac]

It's afternoon now, and I'm starting to feel better. Yay!! Bloating is down, focus is better, not too sore anywhere. Here's the backstory . . . bread on Sunday, vege oils probably a couple of times a week, dark chocolate that has too much sugar in it, bloody lollies (not literally bloody), margarine (avocado, but still has unspecified vege oils in it), occasional dairy with lactase supplement (which only partially works), not enough liquid, almost no coconut products, lack of forward planning, computer play well into the evenings. There, it's out .

Biiig breath . . .

So, for the last 3 days I've vastly reduced the crap stuff - still having the dark chocolate for the moment, and some of the more observant readers might have noticed that I didn't mention the CZ drug at all. First things first, lol.

Instead of working this afternoon, I've revisited some of my spectacular successes and reminded myself about them - like including plenty of coconut cream and berries, herbal tea and water, magnesium and no computer in the evening. Not fasting is a good one, too. Limiting rice, since it makes me bloated (but not sore).

More truth - after all, it is a journal . I really do want to lose weight. It just scares the living shit out of me, in a very non-helpful way, because I don't really know how to do it. I've looked at so many different ways of doing it, and have had to come back to the sad realisation that the healing I was so proud of isn't really obvious just now. This is the worst slip I've had since I started 15 months ago, and it started when I decided to do intermittent fasting. Sigh.

Refocusing now. I hope.

[Paleobird]

Hi Jac,

How about if you start with eliminating the toxic substances in your body first (bad oils, "occasional" bread, SODA, sugar, and anything that you know is a sensitivity trigger for you). Then after your systems have all had some time to calm down, then we can think about tinkering with macronutrient ratios and possibly calorie counting.

Until you get the poisons out, the other avenues of attack will always be blocked by low energy, IBS, and just generally feeling yucky (that is a scientific medical term, BTW).

First, kick the sodas and all sugar to the curb once and for all. This is the only way to lose the sweet tooth. Have it extracted.

You obviously have a very delicate digestive system. You have to treat it more carefully than the average person. That means ZERO grains. None. Not at all. Never. Not just occasionally or just a few bites.

I might recommend committing to doing a Whole 30 for the clean out and to prove to yourself that you really don't need the stuff that is making you feel bad.

You can do this.

I just hit 50 a couple of months ago and I feel way better now than I did at 40.

[jammies]

Hi Jac- Your life sounds lovely - I'm officially jealous

I would suggest that you could possibly track both your sleep problems and some of your muscle pain to the coke zero. Could you try a 30 day caffeine free, sweetener free trial? Even if that meant consuming more sugar than usual?

The other thing is that you could consider putting some magnesium on your skin in the evenings - no worries of upsetting your GI tract, but still the magnesium you need for deep sleep.

Good luck! I never had any real fear of losing the weight - but I have a weird fear of gaining it back now! I guess our minds are all effed up in our own special ways

[Paleobird]

Hi Jac- Your life sounds lovely - I'm officially jealous

I would suggest that you could possibly track both your sleep problems and some of your muscle pain to the coke zero. Could you try a 30 day caffeine free, sweetener free trial? Even if that meant consuming more sugar than usual?

The other thing is that you could consider putting some magnesium on your skin in the evenings - no worries of upsetting your GI tract, but still the magnesium you need for deep sleep.

Good luck! I never had any real fear of losing the weight - but I have a weird fear of gaining it back now! I guess our minds are all effed up in our own special ways

I would agree. That soda is poisonous. I think it is by far the worst offender of anything you have mentioned. Kicking it would not be easy but it would be worth it. I would not recommend replacing the diet sweet taste with a real sweet taste however. That would just perpetuate the problem. You need to re-set your tastebuds so that 90% cocoa chocolate tastes too sweet.

[Jac]

Ok, thanks. Paleobird, your directness is just what I'd hoped for. Jammies, thanks for the envy And the suggestions.

I've had coke today, and have just eaten the last few squares of chocolate. Tomorrow's day 1 of kicking it once and for all. Caffeine, sweeteners and sugar are all being used as crutches for my lack of energy. The rest of the crap is just collatoral damage and isn't difficult to fix. I usually get a headache for a couple of days, but it's lethargy that pulls me back to it after I've detoxed. I'll start with a 30 day challenge and track progress.

Love you guys, really