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Thread: Jac's Countdown to 50! page 11

  1. #101
    Jac's Avatar
    Jac
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    Very quick post on MILs computer, while she's out, lol.

    First night, ketones .4, next night .2 (after a day of eating almost nothing as there was nothing I could eat, and was teaching so couldn't get to the shop), .2 last night, in spite of my best efforts. I just can't get fat!! There's nothing except canola oil and margarine in the house, and what we're eating doesn't lend itself to adding olive oil if I went and bought some. I guess I could have done EVOO shots, but didn't think of it til just now!! So the only fat I'm getting is attached to meat (after it's been trimmed). This is fucking hard .

    I'm stopping the dual focus on eating clean and also low carb/high fat. If I can eat clean until I get home late Sunday, I'll count it a success. But it won't be.

    Gotta go - I'll check back in on Monday . . .
    Started Feb 18 2011

    Journalling here

    "There's a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path" - Morpheus

  2. #102
    NZ primal Gwamma's Avatar
    NZ primal Gwamma is offline Senior Member
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    Jac, all the very best of luck for this weekend.
    I look forward to hearing about your success at staying in ketosis next week

    Gwamma
    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

    ...small steps....

  3. #103
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    Hey Jac, you are doing it hard, I feel for you. Well done to stay eating clean so far, I hope you manage to keep it up. Are eggs an option? Best wishes, A.

  4. #104
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    I'm back home. It's the middle of the night, and I can't sleep. The last week has had some good stuff but on balance it's been a pretty horrible time. Please excuse me while I have a rant.

    On our way south, we travelled from mid-afternoon til mid-evening. My mother in law, who has known for many years that I get really ill if I eat dairy, left some food out for us (she was at work when we arrived). She left muffins - made with milk and butter. Then throughout the time we stayed with her she continually offered me cakes and sweets, all made with dairy. She forces me to continually refuse food. I went to the supermarket to get something I could eat, because on the second day there, having skipped dinner the night before and gone to work without breakfast or lunch, I was starving by 4.30. She got upset with my husband, saying that we were probably going out to eat a pie and ruin our dinner.

    I try really, really hard to be tolerant. I don't tend to take it personally if there isn't food I can eat, and I recognise that paleo is a choice. But being dairy free isn't a choice. I feel upset and angry - and if I refuse to stay with her next time we travel south, she'll hassle my husband. She doesn't do it in a way that you can fight with, though - it's just subtle and relentless disappointment and pressure. This time, though, I'm experiencing her behaviour as deliberately nasty. I'm not shaking it off and relaxing into my home life again - hence being up at this hour and dwelling on it.

    Politicking and ass-licking is also making itself known at work - and I just can't be bothered. Yet it's upsetting me. I'm so over it all!!! I loathe this feeling of being tense and angry, and can't decide if I want to have a brawl with someone, or shrug and move on. I generally shrug - it's other people's crap, not mine. Today, I seem to be taking it on board. I also know, though, that if I don't get a handle on it then it'll overflow into other parts of my life. I really don't want that to happen.

    In the last week I've had a fully blown IBS flare, and have exacerbated it with wine, sugar, and tension. I feel very bloated right throughout my abdomen, and have been surviving on anti-spasmodics and anti-inflammatories. My head and heart both feel very heavy, my feet hurt, I'm tired and sleepless, and I generally feel toxic.

    Part one of my IBS management plan for when it's way out of control is to eat white rice. It fills the bowel gently, and helps the spasms to get less intense and more focused. I did that tonight, so I'm feeling full but OK.

    Part two is relaxation. I'll go back to bed soon and listen to a tape while I practice mindful breathing. It's a start.

    Part three is to eat carefully. This part will differ from my previous plans, since I want to get back into ketosis. I have a lamb neck stew in the crock pot, some corned beef at work, bacon in the fridge, and coconut bark in the freezer. Finding that I have problems with coconut (the FODMAPs content, I suspect) has been a bummer. But it does explain some of the crashes I've had just when things seem to get on track for me. I know I'm whining, but it seems like my food selection is getting so narrow that I'll be left without any variety at all in my diet. And I'm still fucking fat. How is that fair???

    Grrrrr. Time to pull myself up by my boot straps and get on with it. I've had one experience of feeling fantastic on ketosis, and I want to get back there again.
    Started Feb 18 2011

    Journalling here

    "There's a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path" - Morpheus

  5. #105
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    Jac, we are all there for you girl ! I really hear what you are saying, and my heart goes out to you. You will get through this and you are so right, its their crap - don't take it on board. However sometimes that is easier said than done !
    I have found that I have been taking on others peoples crap lately, so am trying to step back and enjoy life a little more.
    anyway thinking of you
    G x
    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

    ...small steps....

  6. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by NZ primal Gwamma View Post
    Jac, we are all there for you girl ! I really hear what you are saying, and my heart goes out to you. You will get through this and you are so right, its their crap - don't take it on board. However sometimes that is easier said than done !
    I have found that I have been taking on others peoples crap lately, so am trying to step back and enjoy life a little more.
    anyway thinking of you
    G x
    Totally agree with this. Jac, glad you could rant here. Take care, and please be gentle on yourself.

  7. #107
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    Thanks team!

    After about 2 hours of sleep, it was a full-on day. Work went OK, and I got through lots of deadline tasks. Tomorrow looks heaps better - less to do and a much slower pace overall.

    I didn't eat until about 4pm, then I had a piece of steak and one of my coconut bark thingys. At 6.30 I had the lamb stew with lots and lots of tomato-filled broth. Very low carb day, with a fair bit of fat. I've also had peppermint tea, and just sipped down a natural calm drink.

    Bloating is still there, but not so uncomfortable. I had pain relief this morning, and again about 5pm. That's an improvement over the last couple of days. Tonight I'll be in bed just after 9am, and I think we can sleep in til about 7am. I'll use the pain relief again tonight, so I can sleep. Fingers crossed for a full night's sleep.

    My middle granddaughter has her 2nd birthday this weekend, so I'll spend a bit of time tomorrow looking for a pretty, swishy party dress to send her. That's something to look forward to!
    Last edited by Jac; 09-12-2012 at 04:08 PM.
    Started Feb 18 2011

    Journalling here

    "There's a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path" - Morpheus

  8. #108
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    CUTE!!

    Wishing you a peaceful sleep.

  9. #109
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    Well the first hour of sleep was good - then the roof started leaking!! In the bedroom.

    My poor husband tried everything he could to let me sleep, but in the end he had to wake me up and tell me that we had a bit of a situation that needed dealing with. He was so apologetic, I felt sorry for him! Anyway, buckets and towels in place, I went back to sleep and feel almost human today. It's 11am, and no pain relief since last night. Still bloated, and my engagement ring doesn't fit. I'm not weighing or checking ketones until at least the weekend, maybe even Monday. There's just no point right now, and I don't want to depress myself.

    I've had 2 coconut bark cups this morning, and have a piece of steak to eat at lunchtime. Chicken drumsticks are defrosting at home, to be eaten with a pile of veges tonight.
    Started Feb 18 2011

    Journalling here

    "There's a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path" - Morpheus

  10. #110
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    Glad to hear you're feeling more human again, despite the leaky episode in the night. Very nice of your husband to do his best to sort it out without waking you as long as he could.

    Sucks that you are going through such discomfort, especially from the situation you were subjected to with the travel, and the inlaws and all that. I hope you find your way back to ketosis and feeling back to good soon. You seemed to be finding the sweet spot, so you can definitely get there again.

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