Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 20

Thread: Primal follower severely frustrated page

  1. #1
    Ted Massey's Avatar
    Ted Massey is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    3

    Primal follower severely frustrated

    Shop Now
    Hello All,

    I've been following this site for a while, but have never posted until now. Recently my fiancee and I have moved back into her parents place for 3 months while I take the bar (no rent and finding a place to rent for just 3 months made this a prime choice). Her mother has been battling her weight for a while and finally is on another 'low fat, calorie counting' died, which her and her father are following. Just moving in, I have prepped for the last two weeks all our food for dinner following the Primal plan. Supposidly, the mother has stopped losing weight and the father has been putting on weight, and it is because of my cooking (they now wish to change it). My fiancee, who has half-heartidly been following the plan for the last two years has decided to now go on the Mom's diet, since she has 'put on weight'. I'm extremely frustrated because:
    1) They all are thinking my cooking makes them fat
    2) For breakfest they have cereal and sandwiches for lunch, which then makes them starving and eat more when I provide them a healthy, calorie-full meal at dinner time, AND
    3) They actually believe this diet is the right way to go while my finaccee has been 'championing' this diet with me for the last two years.

    I've treated the topic of dieting like I would treat politics in this household since it is a sensative topic; has anyone else run into a situation like this? I find this situation extremely annoying since the mother has been obese for about 20 years, and has not had results with her other diet, while I was 260 in high school, now down to a slim 200 and am constantly mistaken for being 22 while actually 29 (since I am very fit and not overweight). Does anyone have any point-of-views or suggestions that will keep me biting my tongue and not being annoyed by this whole situation? Thank you.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    50
    Ask them to follow your meal plan for the day.
    Get them on the ride for 2 weeks and see if they go for that scenario?
    Other than that keep plugging away,bit by bit!!

  3. #3
    zoebird's Avatar
    zoebird is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Posts
    7,935
    I suggest that you have your meals separate. They follow their meal plan, you follow your meal plan, and don't talk about it at all.

    you have to let people be. all of these people are adults. it's ok if they want to do something different. why should it bother you?

    honestly, it's ok to be different. let them do their thing, you do your thing. and when you move out and in with your fiancée into your own digs, then she can decide how she wants to eat from there.

  4. #4
    sbhikes's Avatar
    sbhikes is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Santa Barbara
    Posts
    8,713
    I don't think the Primal Blueprint works unless you remove grains, sugar, vegetable oils, soy and processed/packaged foods. My mother gave it a try but couldn't give up toast and jam and whatever else so it didn't work for her. I imagine the same failure will happen to your fiancee and future mother in law.

    What I would do is when you make dinner, make low-fat primal food like salad and chicken breast or other lean meat and vegetables. Use breakfast and lunch for yourself to get in your primal whatever else. That's pretty much what I do. If I want liver or fatty pork, I have it for breakfast.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    Starting squat: 45lbs. Highest squat: 167.5 x 2. Current Deadlift: 190 x 3

  5. #5
    tfarny's Avatar
    tfarny is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    3,478
    Quote Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
    I suggest that you have your meals separate. They follow their meal plan, you follow your meal plan, and don't talk about it at all.

    you have to let people be. all of these people are adults. it's ok if they want to do something different. why should it bother you?

    honestly, it's ok to be different. let them do their thing, you do your thing. and when you move out and in with your fiancée into your own digs, then she can decide how she wants to eat from there.
    I do agree. Demand respect for your weird ways (since you are the one eating in a manner that is highly unusual and possibly socialist), and then give complete respect for their ways. Don't ever bring it up, and work to defuse any tensions that may arise. If they see your changes and don't want to follow you, it's on them, not you.
    If you are new to the PB - please ignore ALL of this stuff, until you've read the book, or at least http://www.marksdailyapple.com/primal-blueprint-101/ and this (personal fave): http://www.archevore.com/get-started/

  6. #6
    Ted Massey's Avatar
    Ted Massey is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    3
    Thanks zoebird and tfarny I was thinking the same thing helps to hear.

  7. #7
    palebluedots's Avatar
    palebluedots is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    340
    You have to let it go. Just keep doing what's right for you and let them eat however they want. If they don't want to eat your cooking, won't that make your life easier? It should reduce your cooking time and give you more time to study. Living with inlaws (or soon-to-be inlaws) is stressful all on its own. You'll have to choose your battles wisely, and this probably shouldn't be one of them. Maybe even try to be a little understanding.. offer to keep your food out of sight or whatever. It is their house, and if you plan to have a long-term relationship with these folks, it'd be best to set the stage right and be as accommodating and friendly as possible while still doing what you need to do for your own health.

  8. #8
    hulahoop's Avatar
    hulahoop is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    191
    We live with our inlaws at the moment. When we moved in there was stirrings of the 'lets cook together' nature and i had to stand up for myself at the start, and i'm so pleased i did. We shop and cook separately and it works. I enjoy cooking and really didn't want someone else cooking for me.

    Perhaps leave a copy of PB lying around? Then they might get a better understanding of what you do

  9. #9
    Rochxyde's Avatar
    Rochxyde is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    29
    It was put to me this way: If a building is on fire and you run in to help save people and you knock on the first door to tell the person to leave and they don't believe you that the building is on fire, what do you do?

    You move onto the next door.

  10. #10
    oxide's Avatar
    oxide is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    MD/VA/DC
    Posts
    1,103
    Quote Originally Posted by hulahoop View Post
    Perhaps leave a copy of PB lying around? Then they might get a better understanding of what you do
    Don't do that! It's likely to start a family war, which the OP can NOT afford since the in-laws are generously allowing him to live with them. Reading PB will not convince people unless they are already open to believing, and these folks are clearly not open to believing. It just looks like you're shoving it on them. Maybe concentrate on trying to find out why your fiancé gained weight on Primal?
    Last edited by oxide; 05-31-2012 at 04:29 PM.
    5'0" female, 43 years old. Started Primal October 31, 2011, at a skinny fat 111.5 lbs. Low weight: 99.5 lb on a fast. Current weight: skinny-fat 106.5 lbs because of sugar cheating.

    MY PRIMAL: I (try to) follow by-the-book primal as advocated by Mark Sisson, except for whey powder and a bit of cream. I aim for 80-90 g carb/day and advocate a two-month strict adjustment for newbies. But everybody is different and other need to tweak Primal to their own needs.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •