I know it seems like I'm making lots of excuses but for the last few days I've actually been ok for most of the time. There are just random times during the day and also most nights where I suddenly get anxious and confused about everything and I find it hard to make up my mind about how much I should be eating, but I've been eating enough most days (I still don't know whether that's good or bad). I have another counselling appointment today and like I keep saying I'll go to the doctor after exams if I still need help.
I'm still learning the primal ropes because i'm only 2 months into it but I've shed 15lbs. Fat is your friend. Eat it & love it. I found this easier said than done but it has worked for me so far. Do as suggested, sounds good to me.
I have experienced and seen various mental ilnesses in my life and it doesn't matter whether it is an eating disorder, depression, delusion, anxiety etc. The fact is the longer they go on the more this mode of thinking becomes normal for you and the brain creates new inappropriate behavioural pathways, once you get to recieving treatment then you need to work backwards and retrain your brain to adopt appropriate behaviours.
If you want to finish your year 12 first, then the only way that will happen well is to prioritise, what is more important to you your year 12 or this obsession with food & weight, they are mutually exclusive, while you stress yourself mentally and your body with poor nutrition there is no way you can put in your best effort on your exams, and it would not represent your true abilities.
You need to put your hand up now and ask for proper help with this, get your parents on board fully, get a doctor, and any relevant specialists required, your health is more important than anything else.
This isn't about food, your calorie intake, or your weight.
This is about your mental health. That's where you need help.
If I go to a doctor to get a referral for a psychologist/psychiatrist and I don't tell them about my food issues will they still want to weigh me?
If you're going to go to a doctor and/or a psychiatrist/psychologist, it will be pointless if you don't tell him or her about your food issues.
As difficult as it may be to talk about all the stuff that's going on, you have to give it an honest try.
You keep saying "if I can sort this out on my own" but the thing is, you can't trust yourself to decide when that is. I know that sounds harsh, but I've been there.
Once you're out and you look back you'll know what I'm talking about - your state of mind right now can't make that decision, you definitely need outside help.