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  1. #321
    Ribbons's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by liminal_luke View Post
    Ribbons,

    It´s wonderful that you´ve started this thread and continue to write in it. People are reading and responding because they care about you and want you to be healthy and happy.

    It´s wonderful that you talked to the online counselor. Good job! Also, wonderful that you talked to your parents. You are taking some really helpful steps to get yourself to a better place.

    Let me add my voice to the many people who are urging you to get professional help now. I agree with Zoebird, it´s not so much about the food as your mental health. So many people have suggested you get help and there is a reason for that.

    Your mind will give you a lot of reasons why going to get help is not a good idea. Here are some of the reasons you´ve told us so far: you need to do your exams first, they won´t be able to help you anyways, you might be weighed, your parents will find out, you want to wait and see if you can get over it on your own, etc. Please don´t listen to your mind. Listen to us instead. You´re thinking is what got you into this place to begin with and if you keep listening to your mind you´ll just stay here.

    Underneath all the excuses to not get help, I believe there is a healthy part of you that wants help and knows that you need it NOW. There is a part of you that believes we are all right and you should pick up what you are doing right now, this very minute, and go get yourself to a professional who can help you. Why? Because you are really, really hurting and you deserve to live a happy, healthy life and you deserve all the help that is so out there for you.

    Take really good care of yourself. You are worth it.
    Thank you
    I know it seems like I'm making lots of excuses but for the last few days I've actually been ok for most of the time. There are just random times during the day and also most nights where I suddenly get anxious and confused about everything and I find it hard to make up my mind about how much I should be eating, but I've been eating enough most days (I still don't know whether that's good or bad). I have another counselling appointment today and like I keep saying I'll go to the doctor after exams if I still need help.

  2. #322
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    Quote Originally Posted by moorewapyun View Post
    I really think you should find someone in person. They would likely spend the first couple sessions getting to know you, not even necessarily asking you tough questions. Then as you became more comfortable, you could start discussing what's troubling you. Over time you would work with the therapist to get to the heart of the matter and what is causing your behaviors, not simply overcoming the symptoms but helping to alleviate the obsessive thoughts.
    Yeah I know, that's why I'll be going to the doctor if I can't get through this on my own.

  3. #323
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    I'm still learning the primal ropes because i'm only 2 months into it but I've shed 15lbs. Fat is your friend. Eat it & love it. I found this easier said than done but it has worked for me so far. Do as suggested, sounds good to me.

  4. #324
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    Quote Originally Posted by fatfran View Post
    I'm still learning the primal ropes because i'm only 2 months into it but I've shed 15lbs. Fat is your friend. Eat it & love it. I found this easier said than done but it has worked for me so far. Do as suggested, sounds good to me.
    That's one of the reasons primal and calorie counting don't work well together for me, because I freak out over the calories in fat and it's the easiest thing to reduce.

  5. #325
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ribbons View Post
    Yeah I know, that's why I'll be going to the doctor if I can't get through this on my own.
    You've got no idea how serious your situation is, I have read through segments of this thread to get a picture of your story, Everyone has a mental disorder of some type at some point in their life, whether they know it or not, there are two typical personalities, those that seem to be weaker on the face of it and seek external advice & direction when they feel things aren't right and get help at the appropriate time, then there are the others who seem to be in control, they are actually in denial and let things go until finally they are unable to keep anything together, they crash in a big way, then get the help they need. It seems to me you are of the latter type, if you do not get treatment soon, then at some point you will become completly irrational and it will be obvious to everyone around you that you are in dire need of help.
    I have experienced and seen various mental ilnesses in my life and it doesn't matter whether it is an eating disorder, depression, delusion, anxiety etc. The fact is the longer they go on the more this mode of thinking becomes normal for you and the brain creates new inappropriate behavioural pathways, once you get to recieving treatment then you need to work backwards and retrain your brain to adopt appropriate behaviours.
    If you want to finish your year 12 first, then the only way that will happen well is to prioritise, what is more important to you your year 12 or this obsession with food & weight, they are mutually exclusive, while you stress yourself mentally and your body with poor nutrition there is no way you can put in your best effort on your exams, and it would not represent your true abilities.
    You need to put your hand up now and ask for proper help with this, get your parents on board fully, get a doctor, and any relevant specialists required, your health is more important than anything else.

  6. #326
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    Quote Originally Posted by Omni View Post
    You've got no idea how serious your situation is, I have read through segments of this thread to get a picture of your story, Everyone has a mental disorder of some type at some point in their life, whether they know it or not, there are two typical personalities, those that seem to be weaker on the face of it and seek external advice & direction when they feel things aren't right and get help at the appropriate time, then there are the others who seem to be in control, they are actually in denial and let things go until finally they are unable to keep anything together, they crash in a big way, then get the help they need. It seems to me you are of the latter type, if you do not get treatment soon, then at some point you will become completly irrational and it will be obvious to everyone around you that you are in dire need of help.
    I have experienced and seen various mental ilnesses in my life and it doesn't matter whether it is an eating disorder, depression, delusion, anxiety etc. The fact is the longer they go on the more this mode of thinking becomes normal for you and the brain creates new inappropriate behavioural pathways, once you get to recieving treatment then you need to work backwards and retrain your brain to adopt appropriate behaviours.
    If you want to finish your year 12 first, then the only way that will happen well is to prioritise, what is more important to you your year 12 or this obsession with food & weight, they are mutually exclusive, while you stress yourself mentally and your body with poor nutrition there is no way you can put in your best effort on your exams, and it would not represent your true abilities.
    You need to put your hand up now and ask for proper help with this, get your parents on board fully, get a doctor, and any relevant specialists required, your health is more important than anything else.
    I recognise that I have a problem but I don't need any immediate help. I'm not underweight or malnourished and I'm not starving myself. I'm trying to just eat normally. And there's still a chance I can sort it out on my own but I'll go to the doctor if I can't.

  7. #327
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    This isn't about food, your calorie intake, or your weight.

    This is about your mental health. That's where you need help.

  8. #328
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    Quote Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
    This isn't about food, your calorie intake, or your weight.

    This is about your mental health. That's where you need help.
    I think you're right. And I'm starting to think I have a personality disorder as well. Ugh, nearly everyone on this thread is right, but I keep making excuses and arguing with myself all the time and I'm really confused about what I even want. And I keep forgetting that I actually have a future and I'm not going to die as soon as school is over.
    If I go to a doctor to get a referral for a psychologist/psychiatrist and I don't tell them about my food issues will they still want to weigh me?

  9. #329
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ribbons View Post
    If I go to a doctor to get a referral for a psychologist/psychiatrist and I don't tell them about my food issues will they still want to weigh me?
    When I was in school and bulimic, I decided to go to the on-campus therapist for a one-on-one. I didn't mention that I was bulimic. I wanted to see if she would know there was something wrong with me. At the end of the session, she actually said to me, "I don't know why you came here to see me." And I thought to myself, "Hah! Some therapist!" So I stopped going. Shockingly, she didn't magically know what was going on in my head when I didn't tell her. I wound up being bulimic for another year before I finally stopped. (This was only after I wound up going to another therapist, a psychiatrist who was patient and offered a different point of view on things, one whom I wound up trusting and being honest about my food issues, and about so many other things.)

    If you're going to go to a doctor and/or a psychiatrist/psychologist, it will be pointless if you don't tell him or her about your food issues.

    As difficult as it may be to talk about all the stuff that's going on, you have to give it an honest try.

  10. #330
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    You keep saying "if I can sort this out on my own" but the thing is, you can't trust yourself to decide when that is. I know that sounds harsh, but I've been there.

    Once you're out and you look back you'll know what I'm talking about - your state of mind right now can't make that decision, you definitely need outside help.
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