Please help, I need advice page 32

[Ribbons]

And when you eat too little over a long period of time, you not only stop losing weight, your body will desperately hold onto all its fat for as long as possible because it's trying to keep you alive during a time of famine -- it thinks you're starving (which you are). Eating too little will not bring about weight loss, not until after your body is done basically eating itself. (To say nothing of all the stress you're putting yourself through over this, which leads to more cortisol production...and that leads to weight gain.)

So, to sum up: eating too little is one of the worst things you can do for healthy weight loss.

Yup, I know. Sometimes I remind myself of that but then I get confused about whether it's true or if I'm just justifying eating.

[teach2183]

Yup, I know. Sometimes I remind myself of that but then I get confused about whether it's true or if I'm just justifying eating.

My biggest problem over the years has been eating too little when dieting. I switch to healthy foods and end up dropping down around 1000 calories. After a few weeks I start to gain weight and get really frustrated. I have to be sure I am eating enough (>1500cal/day) in order to lose weight. I know that sounds contradictory, but it's true. You need to have enough nutrition coming in to signal to your body that you're not in a famine in order to lose weight. I've lost 12lbs since January by being sure that I eat enough. Whenever I completely stop thinking about it I don't eat enough and the weight loss stalls. It sounds backwards, but it's true.

[JackieKessler]

Yup, I know. Sometimes I remind myself of that but then I get confused about whether it's true or if I'm just justifying eating.

Keep telling yourself that eating too little is the worst thing for healthy weight loss. Keep repeating it, until it's simply a rule that you know, like 2 + 2 = 4 or that water is wet.

Eating too little is the worst thing for healthy weight loss.

Make it your mantra:

Eating too little is the worst thing for healthy weight loss.

You can do it, Ribbons.

[oxide]

NONE OF YOU FOLKS ARE HELPING.

Ribbons, if you are 5'2" and ~ 130 lbs, you're not about to die. It's a healthy weight. But you should ask your mom to make a doctor's appointment. The doctor probaby can't fit you in until after your exams anyway, so it's okay to make the appointment now.

You may think you're "fat," but you should be checked out to make sure you're not malnourished. Anyone can suffer from malnutrition -- in fact the very obese are probably in far worse shape. And your binging/fasting cycles are wreaking havoc with your brain chemistry.

If your exams are next week(?), then take your exams, see how you do. If you need to repeat a year, it would likely help you to get into uni better than if you try to force it with the grades you have.

I think it's VERY encouraging how quickly that you have warmed up talking on the internet, and how insightful you are about yourself. You have a conflict, and you are aware of the conflict. That's a solid accomplishment. While your mind clearly has anorexic tencencies, it looks like all of that "horrible" binging has keep you at a decent weight!

I would like to see you be able to Eat Without Freaking. If the best way for you to Eat Without Freaking is to count 900 calories of good Primal food, so be it. Even those 900 calories, especially the Primal kind, will heal your brain a little. (you WILL need to ramp up later, but you have to start somewhere)

As for losing the weight, this needs to be watched. I can guess what your ideal weight probably should be, but I'm not going to say what it is. I'm afraid of what happens if you lose some weight. Will you go back into fasting to lose more... will you never feel thin enough and keep losing below what you should. That's where the danger lies.

[JackieKessler]

Ribbons, if you are 5'2" and ~ 130 lbs, you're not about to die.

From starvation? Of course not. But there's no way to know about anything else, such as heart damage. "Heart damage, which ultimately killed singer Karen Carpenter, is the most common reason for hospitalization in most people with anorexia." Cardiac arrest can happen to anyone, at any age, who is suffering with an eating disorder. And that's not all.

Push comes to shove, anorexia kills. This isn't about convincing Ribbons that she's not fat. It's about urging her to see her doctor ASAP, because eating disorders are life-threatening, period.

[Ribbons]

My biggest problem over the years has been eating too little when dieting. I switch to healthy foods and end up dropping down around 1000 calories. After a few weeks I start to gain weight and get really frustrated. I have to be sure I am eating enough (>1500cal/day) in order to lose weight. I know that sounds contradictory, but it's true. You need to have enough nutrition coming in to signal to your body that you're not in a famine in order to lose weight. I've lost 12lbs since January by being sure that I eat enough. Whenever I completely stop thinking about it I don't eat enough and the weight loss stalls. It sounds backwards, but it's true.

Keep telling yourself that eating too little is the worst thing for healthy weight loss. Keep repeating it, until it's simply a rule that you know, like 2 + 2 = 4 or that water is wet.

Eating too little is the worst thing for healthy weight loss.

Make it your mantra:

Eating too little is the worst thing for healthy weight loss.

You can do it, Ribbons.

Haha I know that obviously it's healthier to eat like 1200 cals than 500 but a lot of the time I really don't care about that. If I eat then I feel guilty about it and just telling myself that I'm being healthy feels like an excuse.

Ribbons, if you are 5'2" and ~ 130 lbs, you're not about to die. It's a healthy weight.

Not just healthy but almost overweight according to BMI.

But you should ask your mom to make a doctor's appointment. The doctor probaby can't fit you in until after your exams anyway, so it's okay to make the appointment now.

I want to wait a bit in case it's just a phase.

You may think you're "fat," but you should be checked out to make sure you're not malnourished. Anyone can suffer from malnutrition -- in fact the very obese are probably in far worse shape. And your binging/fasting cycles are wreaking havoc with your brain chemistry.

I take multivitamins so I should be ok

If your exams are next week(?), then take your exams, see how you do. If you need to repeat a year, it would likely help you to get into uni better than if you try to force it with the grades you have.

I have one exam next week and six in a few months, so however I go in next week's exam won't make a huge difference overall.

I think it's VERY encouraging how quickly that you have warmed up talking on the internet, and how insightful you are about yourself. You have a conflict, and you are aware of the conflict. That's a solid accomplishment. While your mind clearly has anorexic tencencies, it looks like all of that "horrible" binging has keep you at a decent weight!

Talking on the internet is easy because I'm anonymous. I wouldn't have said anything I've said here to people I know. It's not just the binging, I used to go through cycles of starving, primal, binging, etc. so I haven't had consistent weigh loss. Also my mum thinks I have hypothyroidism or a slow metabolism because I'm fat and I'm always cold, but I haven't really looked into it.

I would like to see you be able to Eat Without Freaking. If the best way for you to Eat Without Freaking is to count 900 calories of good Primal food, so be it. Even those 900 calories, especially the Primal kind, will heal your brain a little. (you WILL need to ramp up later, but you have to start somewhere)

I have this thing where if I decide on a specific number of calories to eat then I always have to make sure I eat that number (or less) and I get really obsessive about not going over, so then I have to weigh and record everything and constantly think about it and worry that my food scales might be inaccurate or something.

As for losing the weight, this needs to be watched. I can guess what your ideal weight probably should be, but I'm not going to say what it is.

48-50kg?

[zoebird]

i don't really think you are helping much either, oxide.

ribbons, you have asserted yourself this is not a phase, but how you have been/behaved for about the last 7-8 years. Phases last a couple of weeks/months at your age. you also wrote thoughts like "i want to die" and such.

none of this is about weight. I don't care what you weigh, whether or not you are in an extremely imminent danger or not. What I want is for you to be able to eat without being obsessive or these strange thoughts, fears, guilts, and shames that you have about food.

i eat food, and i *never* feel this way about food. Even when I was over weight (and I was), I never had these thoughts.

You need help to get out from under this negative, emotionally damaging condition, which could develop into a physically damaging condition that could even lead to your death.

Go and Get Help. Your exams can wait, honestly.

[Gadsie]

Hey ribbons, how are you doing? Haven't heard from you in (what serms like) a while

[Ribbons]

i don't really think you are helping much either, oxide.

ribbons, you have asserted yourself this is not a phase, but how you have been/behaved for about the last 7-8 years. Phases last a couple of weeks/months at your age. you also wrote thoughts like "i want to die" and such.

none of this is about weight. I don't care what you weigh, whether or not you are in an extremely imminent danger or not. What I want is for you to be able to eat without being obsessive or these strange thoughts, fears, guilts, and shames that you have about food.

i eat food, and i *never* feel this way about food. Even when I was over weight (and I was), I never had these thoughts.

You need help to get out from under this negative, emotionally damaging condition, which could develop into a physically damaging condition that could even lead to your death.

Go and Get Help. Your exams can wait, honestly.

I've been aware about weight, calories, etc. for a while but feeling guilty and anxious about food is pretty recent and tends to come in cycles, which is why I want to wait to see if it's just a phase. I'm not sure how long to wait though because it usually doesn't last longer than a week or so but if I haven't gotten better by the end of next week I'll go to a doctor anyway.

Hey ribbons, how are you doing? Haven't heard from you in (what serms like) a while

Hey, sorry I've been trying to make myself study. Yesterday I had 3 normal-sized meals and I was mostly ok with it and then at night I started panicking and having irrational thoughts like 'no matter what I do I'll never lose weight' which even then I knew wasn't true because I've lost weight before but I kept thinking that every food is bad and fattening in some way so I shouldn't eat anything, and then I was getting anxious again because I knew that I can't stop myself from eating forever. But I'm a bit better now

[liminal_luke]

Ribbons,

It´s wonderful that you´ve started this thread and continue to write in it. People are reading and responding because they care about you and want you to be healthy and happy.

It´s wonderful that you talked to the online counselor. Good job! Also, wonderful that you talked to your parents. You are taking some really helpful steps to get yourself to a better place.

Let me add my voice to the many people who are urging you to get professional help now. I agree with Zoebird, it´s not so much about the food as your mental health. So many people have suggested you get help and there is a reason for that.

Your mind will give you a lot of reasons why going to get help is not a good idea. Here are some of the reasons you´ve told us so far: you need to do your exams first, they won´t be able to help you anyways, you might be weighed, your parents will find out, you want to wait and see if you can get over it on your own, etc. Please don´t listen to your mind. Listen to us instead. You´re thinking is what got you into this place to begin with and if you keep listening to your mind you´ll just stay here.

Underneath all the excuses to not get help, I believe there is a healthy part of you that wants help and knows that you need it NOW. There is a part of you that believes we are all right and you should pick up what you are doing right now, this very minute, and go get yourself to a professional who can help you. Why? Because you are really, really hurting and you deserve to live a happy, healthy life and you deserve all the help that is so out there for you.

Take really good care of yourself. You are worth it.