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Thread: Please help, I need advice page 21

  1. #201
    Ribbons's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gadsie View Post
    Before I start dancing I never feel like dancing either, but once I start it's awesome try it
    I hate dancing.

  2. #202
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ribbons View Post
    I hate dancing.
    I'm in class right now, and I just recorded myself dancing to motivate you I hope I can upload it here
    Billie trips balls

  3. #203
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gadsie View Post
    I'm in class right now, and I just recorded myself dancing to motivate you I hope I can upload it here
    That's nice of you. But I honestly don't think anything can motivate me at the moment.

  4. #204
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    Ribbons, I have a Jewish mommy too, and I know them well. She wants you to be healthy, happy and alive! She wants this more than she wants you to get good grades and pretend that you're doing okay. You need to tell your parents how you are feeling ASAP!

  5. #205
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ann1217 View Post
    Ribbons, I have a Jewish mommy too, and I know them well. She wants you to be healthy, happy and alive! She wants this more than she wants you to get good grades and pretend that you're doing okay. You need to tell your parents how you are feeling ASAP!
    I don't want to make my parents worried. They have their own problems.

  6. #206
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ribbons View Post
    I think I'll wait a bit longer in case this is just a phase or something. But thanks I'll do what you said if I don't start thinking normally again soon.
    And two days later:
    Quote Originally Posted by Ribbons View Post
    I don't want help anymore. I want to die.
    So thinks did get worse. You did say you would talk to your parents or the doctor if things got worse, and they have. So it is ok to talk to your parents now.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ribbons View Post
    I can't because then I'd have to tell them that I'm not doing well at school (they have high standards) and if I go to the hospital they might somehow find out that I cut myself and I really don't want anyone to know.
    Actually, this is about the last time in our life when school matters. Up until now it has all been about school, but in less than a year (Jan 2013) it is all forgotten and you are officially grown up. Doing well or not at school stops mattering very soon, and it never matters again. So don't worry about the school stuff. Eating as little as you do is going to affect your school performance anyway, but what really matters is your own health and happiness, not school.

    Cutting yourself? You must talk to someone, anyone, as soon as possible. Ideally you parents, but anyone will do. Could you phone a friend? A cousin? Maybe an aunt? Who is your normal fall-back? If you send me you parents email address I'll happily tell them for you.

  7. #207
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ribbons View Post
    I don't want to make my parents worried. They have their own problems.
    Nonsense. They will be a lot less worried if you talk to them. The whole point of being a parent is putting your children's needs first. You will feel a lot better once you have talked to them.

  8. #208
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    Quote Originally Posted by billp View Post
    And two days later:

    So thinks did get worse. You did say you would talk to your parents or the doctor if things got worse, and they have. So it is ok to talk to your parents now.
    There's no point in telling anyone. It's my fault I don't study enough and it's my fault that I restrict calories for a while and then binge. No one forced me to eat. I knew what I was doing at the time, I just didn't know it would make me so depressed afterwards.

    Actually, this is about the last time in our life when school matters. Up until now it has all been about school, but in less than a year (Jan 2013) it is all forgotten and you are officially grown up. Doing well or not at school stops mattering very soon, and it never matters again. So don't worry about the school stuff. Eating as little as you do is going to affect your school performance anyway, but what really matters is your own health and happiness, not school.
    I need to do well at school so I can get into a good university. Otherwise I have no idea what I'm going to do next year.

    Cutting yourself? You must talk to someone, anyone, as soon as possible. Ideally you parents, but anyone will do. Could you phone a friend? A cousin? Maybe an aunt? Who is your normal fall-back? If you send me you parents email address I'll happily tell them for you.
    Thanks but no it's ok, I used to cut more and then I stopped for a while and now I only do it when I'm extremely stressed.

    Quote Originally Posted by billp View Post
    Nonsense. They will be a lot less worried if you talk to them. The whole point of being a parent is putting your children's needs first. You will feel a lot better once you have talked to them.
    They're not worried about me because they think I'm happy and getting good grades. If I tell them anything I'm sure they won't know what to do and they'll either do something unhelpful or they'll just worry and I don't want to add more stress to their lives.

  9. #209
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ribbons View Post
    Nah she's not really like that, she'd usually say something to me straight away. But she also knows that I fast most days and that I'm trying to just eat healthy food so it doesn't look that strange if I skip a meal or something.
    Being a parent is quite a complicated business. You'll see the things your parents want you to see. I am sure she notices when you skip a meal but is not sure what to do.
    I thought you had to be at a very low body weight though... And anyway if I was in starvation mode I'd be out f it now because of the amount of calories I had yesterday.
    Nope, bodyweight is not related to starvation mode. You are either starving or you aren't, at any weight. It takes weeks of very large eating to get out of starvation mode. It doesn't happen with one meal, or even ten.
    Yeah I know that I lose weight when I'm not eating grains and sugar and stuff but is there something in wheat that makes you put on more weight than other carbs like rice and starchy vegetables?
    Yes, it is a property of wheat. It is why most people here don't eat it. Rice and starchy veg are fine. As hungry as you are now, wheat would actually be fine for you too.
    I don't know why but I feel like I'm failing when I eat or when I'm full, even though obviously not all food is fattening.
    No one knows why Anorexics feel like that. The only solution is to eat more, as that improves the mental processes and gets you out of that state. You can't think your way out because it is a mental condition. You have to eat your way out.
    Wow, no, there's no way I can do the exams later. I'd have to fail year 12 which isn't necessary since I'm not that bad. I wonder if my "eating disorder" is my way of procrastinating because I can't cope well with the stress of school.
    Racing certainty. Your life and health is much more important then delaying some exams, and it should be obvious that anxiety about your exams is a primary cause. Taking your exams later or even dropping back a year doesn't matter in the slightest. Anyone can see you need an immediate long break from school and school related stress. This kind of thing (resits, dropping back a year, etc.) happens all the time and just doesn't matter in the long run - unlike your own health, which is the only real thing of value you have. I resat my own similar exams at 18, and it was much easier the second time round.
    Last edited by billp; 06-05-2012 at 06:17 AM. Reason: typo

  10. #210
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    Please tell someone around you.

    I taught HS physics for a few years. I had a student tell me he was cutting, I went straight to the social worker and from there nobody else in school found out.

    My DH is a HS social worker. If he heard the things you are posting here from one of his students, he would send them straight to the hospital. You NEED help, like yesterday. Stop worrying about how others will react, you will get through this.

    I coached a HS sophomore last summer. She was bright, athletic, a pleasure to get along with. From the outside it appeared that she had a great life. I spoke with the mom at the beginning of this calendar year and found out shortly after I stopped working with her that she started treatment for an ED. Her parents had high standards and did expect a lot out of her, but dropped everything to help her. They rearranged everything to be sure she was getting exactly what she needed to start feeling better. They even recognized that playing on a lower level sports team was better for her because it meant less pressure. I suspect your parents will have a similar response.

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