Please help, I need advice page 2

[cookie]

you have to stop counting calories. period.

counting calories will give you a complex. for example, yesterday for shits and giggles i counted mine on fitday. i consumed around 3,000 calories, mostly from fat. i feel healthy, i'm never letting myself get to the point where i need to fill myself up with low calorie (low nutrient) foods like veg stock, and look great! i just had a baby 5 weeks ago and i'm back down to my pre-prego weight.. all with eating a billion healthy, fatty calories per day.
just stop counting. please.

[fiercehunter]

You could try calorie cycling if calories are your thing. Eat less some days, more on others. Add up & divide by 7 to find out what the average amount for the week is.
You must eat an adequate amount of fat to be healthy though, several tablespoons of butter or coconut oil a day. Low fat is bad news, do not limit your fat intake. Carbs are the problem, not fats.
You might also consider reading The Diet Cure by Julia Ross.

[Ribbons]

There's just so much different diet advice that I'm really confused and overwhelmed. I keep going through this cycle of eating low carb and not counting calories, eating lowish carbs, medium-high fat but low calories (and yes I did mean 500-700 a day) and not caring at all and eating too much for a couple of days. I IF 5-6 days a week already, I walk for around 40 mins a day and I lift weights a couple of times a week on average. Also I still live with my family and they're not willing to stop buying unhealthy food so I constantly have temptation around me. Is this a good plan?: Focus more on eating healthy paleo foods and lower carbs but still count calories and record my food so I can make sure I'm not eating too much.

Also if I up my calories to around 1100 while eating low carb, will I lose weight slower than if I eat 600 calories a day on low fat?

[SleepyRoots]

For goodness sake EAT!

If you are physically active and have any weight to lose, you probably need at least 1800cal a day. If you have a lot less, your body may very well slow down it's metabolism to make the energy go further.

Of course you could do a *medically supervised* total fast, but I don't think many people are severe enough for doctors to consider that.

The point of primal low carb is that insulin inhibits fat burning. Low carb = low insulin, which means your body can start attacking fat stores.
Weight loss speed varies, but I can tell you that it's going to be a lot slower if you keep jerking your body around with different diets. Pick a way of eating and stick to it for good. If you don't understand it and believe in it, chances are you are going to have a very hard time sticking to it.

[VacillateWildly]

I think that to use Primal eating to fast track weight loss means that it's not for you. I have an ED and relate so much to the desire to fill my body with healthful, nutritious and delicioius food and the other desire to stay as thin as I possible can. It seems so new and odd to be adding fat to my food and avoiding low-fat and diet foods at all costs. I eat 500-600 calories for lunch and about 800-1000 for dinner and could probably do with eating a bit more, but at the moment that will have to do. You sound young if you are at home? 600 calories a day is starvation and eating primally won't fix your thinking but it might help your body. I hate counting calories it sends me into a spin, and today I didn't. I'd like to suggest that you talk through your eating habits and desperation for weight loss with a GP, councillor or someone else you trust.

[Ribbons]

Thanks, you guys are probably right. I'm going to start getting strict with the low carb thing but still watch my calories so I don't overeat. I've decided to start fasting everyday and just eat a healthy paleo dinner with no snacking. I can fast pretty easily but as soon as I start eating something it's hard to stop so hopefully this will work for me.
Dexy, I don't think anyone can help me with how I think because I change my way of thinking literally every few days. I start a new weight loss plan (mostly based around either paleo or low calorie) nearly every week! I'm starting to get really low marks at school because weight loss and my diet is the only thing I can think about. I'm even losing my friends because I just don't care about them or anything else anymore. I need help but no one can help me and it's all my fault. I hate how I keep changing my mind about everything all the time but I don't know how to stop.

[JackieKessler]

Ribbons, I used to have an ED, and I still have severe body dysmorphia -- when I look in the mirror, all I see is how huge my hips/butt/thighs are, and how thick my waist is. When I was primal last year -- and I mean no-cheating primal, followed by 28 days of Whole 30 -- I lost weight, yes. But I also became obsessed with what I was eating, what I wasn't eating, how I was exercising, and when I would be able to shop/cook for my next meal. IFing for me was extremely tricky -- there's a fine line between eating only when I'm hungry and choosing not to eat for an extremely long time.

What I'm getting at is because of my particular issues with food and control, some of TFB doesn't work for me -- specifically, the fasting. So I don't fast. I guess it's a trigger for me.

It took me a very, very long time to accept that I need to eat more, especially on high-workout days. I'm still not very good about this; I'm doing the Insanity workout (which is basically as un-TPB as you can get, because it's all extreme cardio, but I feel like doing it for the 60 days will help me get faster/more endurance when I do tae kwon do), which means I should pretty much be eating a lot more than I am. I am a work in progress!

I'm still struggling with counting calories -- I've got an app that lets me log calories, shows suggested daily calorie goals, etc. -- and I know I should walk away from the counting, but I haven't done it yet.

Counting calories and TPB really, really don't work well together. As you said, it's conflicting advice, and it can really mess with your brain. (At least, it messes with mine!)

What happens with me is when I get too frustrated with trying to make one or the other way of eating work (TPB versus calorie counting), I convince myself that I'm following the wrong plan, so then I sabotage everything and eat terribly (for both plans) and boom, no weight/fat loss (or, yikes, weight/fat gain).

I know what I need to do: Ditch the calorie counting, ditch the Insanity, ditch the rice cakes, eat more protein and veggies and fat, do more walking, find a weightlifting instructor and hit the weights, sprint once a week (which, geez, after 2 weeks of Insanity shouldn't be a big deal). I just have to do it. And not feel like I'm a quitter/making the wrong choice/etc. It's more difficult because the rest of my family -- my husband and kids -- eat a standard American diet, so there's tons of non-primal food in the house. (But hey: my younger son has started eating salads with me, because he loves how they taste! It's a start!)

The biggest positive change that I've made recently is that I'm no longer feeling bad about the food decisions I'm making. I'm slowly working to a place where I'm coming to the right way of eating/living -- which I know, deep down, is TPB (without the fasting). So instead of feeling lousy about not being able to jump right back into it, I'm doing my best to feel positive that this is an evolution, and I'm coming to embrace the changes that I am making.

I'm sharing all this with you because I want you to see that you're not alone. Food can be a struggle. But it's also fuel, and it can also be truly delicious. The trick is finding the balance so that it's less of a struggle and more of a decision to fuel our bodies -- in very tasty ways!

Okay, I'm off to have breakfast -- I made paleo mayo, and it worked, hooray!, so I'm going to have tuna fish (Wild Planet) with paleo mayo, celery, scallions, black pepper, a small apple, some walnuts, cucumbers, and romaine lettuce. Nom.

Good luck with everything. You can do it -- and you can be healthy.

[Ribbons]

Ribbons, I used to have an ED, and I still have severe body dysmorphia -- when I look in the mirror, all I see is how huge my hips/butt/thighs are, and how thick my waist is. When I was primal last year -- and I mean no-cheating primal, followed by 28 days of Whole 30 -- I lost weight, yes. But I also became obsessed with what I was eating, what I wasn't eating, how I was exercising, and when I would be able to shop/cook for my next meal. IFing for me was extremely tricky -- there's a fine line between eating only when I'm hungry and choosing not to eat for an extremely long time.

What I'm getting at is because of my particular issues with food and control, some of TFB doesn't work for me -- specifically, the fasting. So I don't fast. I guess it's a trigger for me.

It took me a very, very long time to accept that I need to eat more, especially on high-workout days. I'm still not very good about this; I'm doing the Insanity workout (which is basically as un-TPB as you can get, because it's all extreme cardio, but I feel like doing it for the 60 days will help me get faster/more endurance when I do tae kwon do), which means I should pretty much be eating a lot more than I am. I am a work in progress!

I'm still struggling with counting calories -- I've got an app that lets me log calories, shows suggested daily calorie goals, etc. -- and I know I should walk away from the counting, but I haven't done it yet.

Counting calories and TPB really, really don't work well together. As you said, it's conflicting advice, and it can really mess with your brain. (At least, it messes with mine!)

What happens with me is when I get too frustrated with trying to make one or the other way of eating work (TPB versus calorie counting), I convince myself that I'm following the wrong plan, so then I sabotage everything and eat terribly (for both plans) and boom, no weight/fat loss (or, yikes, weight/fat gain).

I know what I need to do: Ditch the calorie counting, ditch the Insanity, ditch the rice cakes, eat more protein and veggies and fat, do more walking, find a weightlifting instructor and hit the weights, sprint once a week (which, geez, after 2 weeks of Insanity shouldn't be a big deal). I just have to do it. And not feel like I'm a quitter/making the wrong choice/etc. It's more difficult because the rest of my family -- my husband and kids -- eat a standard American diet, so there's tons of non-primal food in the house. (But hey: my younger son has started eating salads with me, because he loves how they taste! It's a start!)

The biggest positive change that I've made recently is that I'm no longer feeling bad about the food decisions I'm making. I'm slowly working to a place where I'm coming to the right way of eating/living -- which I know, deep down, is TPB (without the fasting). So instead of feeling lousy about not being able to jump right back into it, I'm doing my best to feel positive that this is an evolution, and I'm coming to embrace the changes that I am making.

I'm sharing all this with you because I want you to see that you're not alone. Food can be a struggle. But it's also fuel, and it can also be truly delicious. The trick is finding the balance so that it's less of a struggle and more of a decision to fuel our bodies -- in very tasty ways!

Okay, I'm off to have breakfast -- I made paleo mayo, and it worked, hooray!, so I'm going to have tuna fish (Wild Planet) with paleo mayo, celery, scallions, black pepper, a small apple, some walnuts, cucumbers, and romaine lettuce. Nom.

Good luck with everything. You can do it -- and you can be healthy.

Thank you, this was really encouraging. I can relate to so much of what you said. Counting calories really does mess with my brain but if I stop then there's nothing stopping me from overeating. Even now I'm scared to even think about anything that isn't related to weight loss in case it distracts me and I lose focus and give up. I think I just need to get into the habit of only eating healthy foods and then maybe I can stop counting calories but for now they give me a sense of safety. I've planned out what I'm going to eat tomorrow: Fast all day then 3 eggs with tuna and vegetables cooked in coconut oil for dinner (484 calories), plus walking for 40 minutes. Is that good? I doubt I'll be able to keep my calories that low everyday but maybe it won't be too hard because the food is filling.

I need to lose weight fast because I hate the way I look; I'm short and I'm like 59kg which is way too much for my height. I don't think I can lose weight fast unless I keep my calories low. I find fasting triggering as well but I think when it becomes more of a habit then it'll just seem normal and I won't have to think about it anymore.

[JackieKessler]

I've planned out what I'm going to eat tomorrow: Fast all day then 3 eggs with tuna and vegetables cooked in coconut oil for dinner (484 calories), plus walking for 40 minutes. Is that good?

Eeep...no, this really isn't good. There's something called a Basal Metabolic Rate. If you eat below your BMR regularly, your body will think that you're starving (which, technically, you are), so it will work overtime to **store as much fat as possible and slow down your metabolism.**

Here's one place where you can calculate your BMR. Note that this is a BMR if you were to simply lay in bed all day -- if you are active, you'll need to eat even more.

Here's the thing: If you're going to eat only one meal a day -- and many folks who follow TPB do just that -- then that one meal needs to be packed with healthy calories, from protein and fat and carbs. If you're going to be counting anything, count protein and carbs -- you want your protein high and your carbs to be less than 150 g to maintain your weight, and less than 101 g to lose weight healthily. (Less than 50 g of carbs puts you into Very Low Carbs, which many people find is not sustainable.)

Maybe change up your meal to having your 3 eggs with 4 strips of bacon, and scramble the eggs in the bacon grease (don't freak out -- it's OK, really, and my God, once you eat eggs scrambled in bacon grease, you may never go back to coconut oil or butter), and include an entire 5 oz can of tuna, with a cup or two of baby romaine lettuce and cucumbers and bell peppers for munching, and top it off with an apple for dessert (maybe even drizzled in 2 tablespoons of almond butter, OMG, so good).

Now your protein will be 18g (eggs) plus 8 g (bacon), plus 40 g (tuna), plus about 1 g (2 cups lettuce), plus 7 g (almond butter) = 74 g of protein. Your carbs will be maybe 60 g, depending on how many veggies and the size of the apple (large apple can be about 30 g of carbs; the almond butter is 6 g of carbs).

Even this may not get you to your lowest acceptable calories for your BMR -- but if you add a handful (or two) of your favorite nuts (I'm a fool for raw macadamias, but I'll take raw walnuts, pecans or hazelnuts as well), that should do it.

Did your head just explode? It's okay. It takes some getting used to, but I promise, you can eat bacon and nuts. It's really okay.

The thing is, you shouldn't be hungry on TPB. The idea is to eat when you're hungry. This is another big concept to wrap your arms around. It took me a long time to get out of the "It's okay to feel like I'm starving" mindset.

[Ribbons]

Eeep...no, this really isn't good. There's something called a Basal Metabolic Rate. If you eat below your BMR regularly, your body will think that you're starving (which, technically, you are), so it will work overtime to **store as much fat as possible and slow down your metabolism.**

Here's one place where you can calculate your BMR. Note that this is a BMR if you were to simply lay in bed all day -- if you are active, you'll need to eat even more.

Here's the thing: If you're going to eat only one meal a day -- and many folks who follow TPB do just that -- then that one meal needs to be packed with healthy calories, from protein and fat and carbs. If you're going to be counting anything, count protein and carbs -- you want your protein high and your carbs to be less than 150 g to maintain your weight, and less than 101 g to lose weight healthily. (Less than 50 g of carbs puts you into Very Low Carbs, which many people find is not sustainable.)

Maybe change up your meal to having your 3 eggs with 4 strips of bacon, and scramble the eggs in the bacon grease (don't freak out -- it's OK, really, and my God, once you eat eggs scrambled in bacon grease, you may never go back to coconut oil or butter), and include an entire 5 oz can of tuna, with a cup or two of baby romaine lettuce and cucumbers and bell peppers for munching, and top it off with an apple for dessert (maybe even drizzled in 2 tablespoons of almond butter, OMG, so good).

Now your protein will be 18g (eggs) plus 8 g (bacon), plus 40 g (tuna), plus about 1 g (2 cups lettuce), plus 7 g (almond butter) = 74 g of protein. Your carbs will be maybe 60 g, depending on how many veggies and the size of the apple (large apple can be about 30 g of carbs; the almond butter is 6 g of carbs).

Even this may not get you to your lowest acceptable calories for your BMR -- but if you add a handful (or two) of your favorite nuts (I'm a fool for raw macadamias, but I'll take raw walnuts, pecans or hazelnuts as well), that should do it.

Did your head just explode? It's okay. It takes some getting used to, but I promise, you can eat bacon and nuts. It's really okay.

The thing is, you shouldn't be hungry on TPB. The idea is to eat when you're hungry. This is another big concept to wrap your arms around. It took me a long time to get out of the "It's okay to feel like I'm starving" mindset.

I checked my BMR and it's like 1421 calories so healthy weight loss would be that minus 500 calories with equals to just over 900 cals a day. I don't eat bacon because my family's Jewish but do you think I should add more coconut oil to my meal? I don't want to buy almond butter or nuts at this stage because I don't find them that filling and I always end up bingeing on them. Is it really necessary to add carbs like fruit? Wouldn't that just slow down my weight loss?