Please help, I need advice page 15

[Ribbons]

Why do you think that "everyone will find out" if you talk to a school counselor? They are bound by confidentiality agreements. If you wait too long to get help, everyone will start to find out because you will get very sick. Your friends probably already suspect an issue if you aren't hanging out as usual.

You NEED to eat MORE!

If I went to the school counsellor I'd have to make an excuse to leave my friends during lunch or if my appointment was during class I'd have to tell my teacher where I'm going and then everyone else would notice and ask me where I'm going. I'm not sure what my friends think because I haven't eaten at school all year (I IF most days) and they've commented on that a few times but I tell them that I just prefer to eat at home.

[Ribbons]

Ribbons, I agree with zoebird.

If there is a psychiatric hospital close to you, they usually have "emergency rooms." They are not like emergency rooms at big hospitals, but then again I am talking about the US and you are in Australia, so I'm sure things will be a little difference. You would go there and be able to have a psychiatric evaluation right away.

They would ask you why you came, and you would tell them about your obsessive thoughts about food. They are experts, so they know that you do not have to be underweight to have a serious eating disorder, so please do not worry about that. It is not scary! I know it sounds scary, but right now I think you really need to find someone to talk to.

I wouldn't know where to go or how to pay or anything.

[Ribbons]

Hello Ribbons. Don't worry about posting stuff, no one minds. I am actually interested in this sort of thing anyway, so count it as positively beneficial.

I am sorry to hear that your mother fed you 0% milk. That is nutritionally incompletely and non-satiating, and lacking the fat is not able to carry the fat soluble nutrients that milk is supposed to be able to do. It is much better to drink a small quantity of whole milk than any quantity of 0% milk.

I think a better objective for you that would make you feel better about yourself is to concentrate on body composition, not the weight the scales say. That is, gaining muscle instead of losing weight. That will look better because muscle is much denser than fat so you will look thinner and more toned, you will be less flabby (if you even are now) but you won't weigh less.

That is achievable quite easily. More meat, more dietary fat, more veg, less or no sugar or sweeteners, and as much starchy root vegetables like carrots and potatoes as you need to feel good - you will need some. Then as long as you work out a bit (but not too much) you should be fine.

If you don't eat enough (which based on your description it sounds likely) you will lose muscle instead of fat. That simply doesn't work as a weight loss technique, and greatly biases people to put on fat. There are lots of experiments about calories restricted diets making people fatter.

Also, calories are not real. They are more about fuel efficiency in machines like gas boilers. The effectiveness of burning or exploding dried food to warm water doesn't tell you very much at all about human nutrition. We have complex requirements and do complex things, whereas a gas boiler only has to warm up water. Calories don't tell you how to nourish yourself to be fit enough for parkour, or how to have enough fat in your diet to nourish you brain well enough to study and do exams. I'd forget about calories if I were you and concentrate filling yourself up with high quality foods - animal fats, good quality meat, green vegetables and root vegetables, and the odd treat - while avoiding suspect foods like wheat, artificial sugars like glucose syrup and HFCS, and manufactured oils like canola oil. That is all anyone on this forum is really doing, and the result uniformly gradual fat loss and better strength and body shape, for both men and women.

You need to remember that feeling very anxious about food or anything can be caused by not eating enough, and in your case almost certainly is. When you feel anxious, like you describe, have some real food to eat - e.g. a large steak with fat, and some vegetable that you like, preferably fried in an animal fat. Then you will be able to think clearly. If you are not eating enough you will also wreck you exam performance. Animal fats seem to have a very calming effect on people and makes them feel happy and confident.

No one here find eating animal fat causes them to put on body fat. People claim it is possible but it just doesn't seem to happen. It really seems to help with teaching the body to burn its own excess fat.

I think you would enjoy the film "Fat Head" too. It is by an American comedian called Tom Naughton, and is a riposte to the film "Super Size Me" - among other things he does what that guy did and manages to lose weight in the process.

I think I do better on high fat low carb so that's why I had eggs and tuna and stuff but I only got anxious after that (apart from this morning when I got anxious over coffee). So I don't think it's the type of food that I'm eating that's the problem but I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. I've seen Fat Head and I already knew most of the stuff in it but it was really funny and interesting anyway.

[billp]

That sounds scary, what would a psychiatric evaluation involve?

Giant electrodes! Plus they would have to drill into you skull a little way. And shave your head in a couple of places to start drilling!

Just kidding. Really it would involve nothing more than talking to someone who was actually qualified to judge whether everything was ok with you or if you were in fact at risk. A bunch of amateurs on the Internet can't judge that. Based on what you have said, I think it would be a good idea to go there and have an evaluation done. I've known someone who did that, gone to the emergency department and asked for help, and they were seen right away and it was very helpful.

Also, this kind of think happens all the time to teenage girls under a lot of stress due to exams. Being female, 17 and revising like mad and dieting is one of the highest risk combination possible. You will grow out of it in a year or two, but right now you need medical attention, because right now is where all the risks are.

[Ribbons]

Giant electrodes! Plus they would have to drill into you skull a little way. And shave your head in a couple of places to start drilling!

Just kidding. Really it would involve nothing more than talking to someone who was actually qualified to judge whether everything was ok with you or if you were in fact at risk. A bunch of amateurs on the Internet can't judge that. Based on what you have said, I think it would be a good idea to go there and have an evaluation done. I've known someone who did that, gone to the emergency department and asked for help, and they were seen right away and it was very helpful.

Also, this kind of think happens all the time to teenage girls under a lot of stress due to exams. Being female, 17 and revising like mad and dieting is one of the highest risk combination possible. You will grow out of it in a year or two, but right now you need medical attention, because right now is where all the risks are.

But I don't know where to go or how to pay or how to find out what to do. And I don't know when to go either because I don't want my parents to know.

[billp]

I wouldn't know where to go or how to pay or anything.

Emergency room of any major hospital. Don't worry about paying, that kind of thing can be straightened out months later and is insurable anyway. Just tell everyone at school you had flu or a tummy bug. Whatever you say everyone is going to assume you might be pregnant. Part of being an adult is not worrying about what anyone else thinks and enjoying creating an air of mystery.

[Ribbons]

Emergency room of any major hospital. Don't worry about paying, that kind of thing can be straightened out months later and is insurable anyway. Just tell everyone at school you had flu or a tummy bug. Whatever you say everyone is going to assume you might be pregnant. Part of being an adult is not worrying about what anyone else thinks and enjoying creating an air of mystery.

I can't go to the emergency room; I'm definitely not in an emergency situation.
Haha whenever anyone goes to the school counsellor somehow everyone in the school finds out. And I already lie to my friends enough; they don't know anything about paleo or fasting or how much I eat.
Maybe I'll just wait until I talk to the counsellor on the 11th and I can ask them what I should do.

[oxide]

Ribbons,

You say that you're afraid of therapy. You may not know it, but this this thread is therapy. The kind of posting that you're doing here is pretty much what goes on during any therapy session. (See, it's not so bad...) The patient (you) does almost all of the talking, and that's how it's supposed to be. I'm so glad you posted that little bit of history about the ballet leotard. This is very healthy and very normal talk.

Keep talking. I want this thread to be pages and pages and pages long!!

It sounds like it will be a while before you can eat a full day of calories/food. So make those calories count! Steak and eggs in a little butter, a few veggies, and a little greek yogurt.

By the way, did you look at this Friday's Success Story from two days ago? The Success Stories are one of the best things about this website. These folks are eating mondo calories and still staying thin.

[SleepyRoots]

Australia has a largely national health care system. Most things are free at point of access, i.e. you don't have to pay anything. Go wherever is easiest for you to manage. An A&E department, your GP, or maybe you can google for a health care centre in town, or contact a clinic dealing with eating disorders. Do the googling on a library computer if you have to. Say you're going out shopping, or want to study quietly in the library. Whatever let's you get help while feeling safe doing it. There are services out there and they do want to help.
Be totally honest with whoever you go to. Tell them how little you eat. Show them a food log if need be. Let them know how you think.

Ribbons, what I'd really want to do is hug you and be there to help you, but I am on the other side of the world, so all I can do is assure you that there is help, and there is a way.

[Ribbons]

Ribbons,

You say that you're afraid of therapy. You may not know it, but this this thread is therapy. The kind of posting that you're doing here is pretty much what goes on during any therapy session. (See, it's not so bad...) The patient (you) does almost all of the talking, and that's how it's supposed to be. I'm so glad you posted that little bit of history about the ballet leotard. This is very healthy and very normal talk.

Keep talking. I want this thread to be pages and pages and pages long!!

It sounds like it will be a while before you can eat a full day of calories/food. So make those calories count! Steak and eggs in a little butter, a few veggies, and a little greek yogurt.

By the way, did you look at this Friday's Success Story from two days ago? The Success Stories are one of the best things about this website. These folks are eating mondo calories and still staying thin.

Haha sorry I'm burdening you guys with my problems. I know you're not therapists. If you get sick of me just ignore me.
Yeah I read the success story earlier today; she looks so much better now.