Worse case scenario, you can go to the hospital.
If you don't know how much fat is healthy for you then you cannot know that you have too much.
If you have always wanted to loose weight, it's an indication that you really have no clue what health is for you. You've always been growing, so how is it that you've always needed to loose weight? This is just fixation.
Not enough calories in one day.I was sort of putting off eating today but I eventually decided to have lunch at 4.30ish so I had 2 scrambled eggs with a small tin of tuna and then I had some Greek yoghurt and it added up to around 380 calories (I didn't weigh my food so I had to guess).
This is what anorexics do. They eat a minimal amount of food daily and starve themselves unhealthy.
You should have dinner, because only infants in utero live on this few calories per day.I was going to make this a normal low carb sort of day but now I don't know whether to have dinner tonight or not because I feel like I shouldn't have had lunch.
You could always contact the counsellor and see if someone can see you sooner. It can't hurt.I'm really not trying to go against what everyone's saying but this is really stressful. I spend so much time thinking about whether to eat or not that it's like I've lost the argument if I choose to eat. And I have to wait another 8 days to talk to the counsellor and that probably won't be helpful anyway and I can't tell anyone I know, so I know I have to do this on my own but I constantly feel like I'm making the wrong choice whether I eat or don't eat.
Also, just go against your own mind -- if possible. Eat 1800 calories a day. Do whatever you can to eat that much, no matter what your head is telling you.
Worse case scenario, you can go to the hospital.
I don't think I can have dinner because it'll just make everything worse. It was an hour after lunch that I started panicking about it so I don't know what that's about. I guess I'll just eat tomorrow after school because if I have breakfast I won't be able to concentrate.
Actually, at this point, whatever you eat and how much will have zero impact (physically) because you haven't eaten enough over the past several days to cause any more problems than the not-eating has.
But, how you think about it will likely not change.
Perhaps you should consider contacting the local psychiatric center and get an evaluation.
(and please note that this is a serious assertion, not a means to shame or upset you. I just think that you have completely fixated, and it's starting to read "manic" -- again, not a diagnosis -- so. . . perhaps you should get more immediate help.)
Why do you think that "everyone will find out" if you talk to a school counselor? They are bound by confidentiality agreements. If you wait too long to get help, everyone will start to find out because you will get very sick. Your friends probably already suspect an issue if you aren't hanging out as usual.
You NEED to eat MORE!
Ribbons, I agree with zoebird.
If there is a psychiatric hospital close to you, they usually have "emergency rooms." They are not like emergency rooms at big hospitals, but then again I am talking about the US and you are in Australia, so I'm sure things will be a little difference. You would go there and be able to have a psychiatric evaluation right away.
They would ask you why you came, and you would tell them about your obsessive thoughts about food. They are experts, so they know that you do not have to be underweight to have a serious eating disorder, so please do not worry about that. It is not scary! I know it sounds scary, but right now I think you really need to find someone to talk to.
Hello Ribbons. Don't worry about posting stuff, no one minds. I am actually interested in this sort of thing anyway, so count it as positively beneficial.
I am sorry to hear that your mother fed you 0% milk. That is nutritionally incompletely and non-satiating, and lacking the fat is not able to carry the fat soluble nutrients that milk is supposed to be able to do. It is much better to drink a small quantity of whole milk than any quantity of 0% milk.
I think a better objective for you that would make you feel better about yourself is to concentrate on body composition, not the weight the scales say. That is, gaining muscle instead of losing weight. That will look better because muscle is much denser than fat so you will look thinner and more toned, you will be less flabby (if you even are now) but you won't weigh less.
That is achievable quite easily. More meat, more dietary fat, more veg, less or no sugar or sweeteners, and as much starchy root vegetables like carrots and potatoes as you need to feel good - you will need some. Then as long as you work out a bit (but not too much) you should be fine.
If you don't eat enough (which based on your description it sounds likely) you will lose muscle instead of fat. That simply doesn't work as a weight loss technique, and greatly biases people to put on fat. There are lots of experiments about calories restricted diets making people fatter.
Also, calories are not real. They are more about fuel efficiency in machines like gas boilers. The effectiveness of burning or exploding dried food to warm water doesn't tell you very much at all about human nutrition. We have complex requirements and do complex things, whereas a gas boiler only has to warm up water. Calories don't tell you how to nourish yourself to be fit enough for parkour, or how to have enough fat in your diet to nourish you brain well enough to study and do exams. I'd forget about calories if I were you and concentrate filling yourself up with high quality foods - animal fats, good quality meat, green vegetables and root vegetables, and the odd treat - while avoiding suspect foods like wheat, artificial sugars like glucose syrup and HFCS, and manufactured oils like canola oil. That is all anyone on this forum is really doing, and the result uniformly gradual fat loss and better strength and body shape, for both men and women.
You need to remember that feeling very anxious about food or anything can be caused by not eating enough, and in your case almost certainly is. When you feel anxious, like you describe, have some real food to eat - e.g. a large steak with fat, and some vegetable that you like, preferably fried in an animal fat. Then you will be able to think clearly. If you are not eating enough you will also wreck you exam performance. Animal fats seem to have a very calming effect on people and makes them feel happy and confident.
No one here find eating animal fat causes them to put on body fat. People claim it is possible but it just doesn't seem to happen. It really seems to help with teaching the body to burn its own excess fat.
I think you would enjoy the film "Fat Head" too. It is by an American comedian called Tom Naughton, and is a riposte to the film "Super Size Me" - among other things he does what that guy did and manages to lose weight in the process.