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Thread: Please help, I need advice page 12

  1. #111
    Ribbons's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JackieKessler View Post
    Ribbons - First of all, I'm so proud of you for keeping the appointment!!! That took a lot of courage, and you did it! Be proud of yourself for making a commitment and seeing it through.

    Second - If only we could see results after one session! But if you think about it, it took you a long time for your mindset to become what it is now regarding food and control and personal happiness; it's going to take time with counseling for you to get a sense of balance. Please try to be patient, and believe that you can be healthy and be happy. It's going to take time, but you really, really can do it.

    I'm rooting for you. **waves pom poms**

    Please keep the appointment on the 11th.
    Thanks

    It seems a bit pointless though because they're so busy that I'd probably have to talk to a different counsellor next time and we'd have to go over the same things again. And I don't think there's anything anyone can say to make the obsession go away anyway. Also the counsellor said she's send me some links that she thinks will be helpful to me but she hasn't sent them yet so I think she's forgotten. But I'll probably keep the appointment for the 11th and if I find it just as pointless as this last one I won't make another one and I'll just see what I can do by myself.

  2. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by hulahoop View Post
    It won't make an immediate difference, it doesn't work like that. I had therapy, it took about 12-15 sessions before things changed for me. For some people it will happen quicker than this, for others it will take longer. Just because you don't see immediate changes doesn't mean you won't after numerous sessions.



    I was terrified seeing a counsellor face to face, i was literally shaking. However, they are trained to know how to make you feel relaxed in their company and how to get you to open up. It's a safe environment, completely confidential.

    Please continue getting help xx
    Thanks, I'll consider it but I don't think I'm ready to see a counsellor face to face yet. I'm just really not good at that stuff. But I'll keep the next session.

  3. #113
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    Good job for keeping the appointment! You will not see results after just one session though.

    I really think you should find someone in person. They would likely spend the first couple sessions getting to know you, not even necessarily asking you tough questions. Then as you became more comfortable, you could start discussing what's troubling you. Over time you would work with the therapist to get to the heart of the matter and what is causing your behaviors, not simply overcoming the symptoms but helping to alleviate the obsessive thoughts. And you can always just print this thread and give it to someone in person.

  4. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by teach2183 View Post
    Good job for keeping the appointment! You will not see results after just one session though.

    I really think you should find someone in person. They would likely spend the first couple sessions getting to know you, not even necessarily asking you tough questions. Then as you became more comfortable, you could start discussing what's troubling you. Over time you would work with the therapist to get to the heart of the matter and what is causing your behaviors, not simply overcoming the symptoms but helping to alleviate the obsessive thoughts. And you can always just print this thread and give it to someone in person.
    I'm too scared though. I'd have to organise it all by myself because there's no one I know who I want to tell but I don't have the confidence to do it by myself. Especially since I don't look unhealthy, just fat. And I wouldn't know where to go. I don't want to go to the school counsellor because everyone would find out.

  5. #115
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    Your illness is what makes you think that someone is too busy to talk to you. Just keep going. Don't expect anything to work right away. You might try to see if there are any 12-step or similar groups you could attend in your area, too. Just being around caring people who will let you spill your guts and cry without judging you is a very powerful healing experience. Your problem isn't really about food it's about self-worth. Years ago I had a friend who once had bulimia. She said it wasn't about throwing up the food, it was because she felt so much disgust with herself she needed to throw up something.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
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  6. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by sbhikes View Post
    Your illness is what makes you think that someone is too busy to talk to you. Just keep going. Don't expect anything to work right away. You might try to see if there are any 12-step or similar groups you could attend in your area, too. Just being around caring people who will let you spill your guts and cry without judging you is a very powerful healing experience. Your problem isn't really about food it's about self-worth. Years ago I had a friend who once had bulimia. She said it wasn't about throwing up the food, it was because she felt so much disgust with herself she needed to throw up something.
    No they really are busy, that's why they can't talk to me until the 11th. And as I said before I'd probably have to talk to a different counsellor each time and each session is only one hour and they take a long time to respond so it's hard to have a good conversation. And it's online anyway so I didn't go anywhere. I can't express my emotions in front of people, I don't know why but I just can't.

  7. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ribbons View Post
    No they really are busy.
    All that means is that there are LOT of people in your situation... or situations which obsess them in a different way. You're not the only one who feels bad. Heck, I went to counseling three different times depression and/or general idiocy. Did it help? Probably.
    5'0" female, 43 years old. Started Primal October 31, 2011, at a skinny fat 111.5 lbs. Low weight: 99.5 lb on a fast. Current weight: skinny-fat 106.5 lbs because of sugar cheating.

    MY PRIMAL: I (try to) follow by-the-book primal as advocated by Mark Sisson, except for whey powder and a bit of cream. I aim for 80-90 g carb/day and advocate a two-month strict adjustment for newbies. But everybody is different and other need to tweak Primal to their own needs.

  8. #118
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    It's a good idea to give it at least 15-20 sessions to see if there are changes. It can take many years for some people. But it does help over time.

    How does therapy work?

    First, you talk to the therapist about yourself. They listen, and they make notes of identifying markers in your thoughts/behavior patterns that indicates where your particular concerns and issues are.

    From here, they begin to help you uncover the origins of these patterns as well as provide methods for you to try to undo and/or manage the anxiety.

    In my case, it took about 3 sessions before "codependency" came up, and then another session or three where we reflected on my thoughts/language/behaviors and what codependency was. I was then given a book and workbook to try, and the therapist and I went through this workbook over several sessions -- talking about my thoughts, my processes, my social practices, and the exercises in the workbook and how they were working for me. Then, we just worked on the process for a bit after i'd finished the workbook, until I felt that I could go out on my own.

    In my husband's case, he had talk therapy, was taught meditation, had several books/workbooks that he worked through, and also some hypnotherapy. It worked very well for him.

    It takes time. And, how it works doesn't immediately reveal themselves. But, therapists are trained to help you -- they can identify things about your thinking that you cannot (or that an untrained person cannot), and can help uncover and unknot that process, helping you change your thought processes over time.

    Yes, you can change how you think! It just takes time and help.

    So continue getting help. It will take at least 10-15 sessions to notice anything. And it may take a year or two before things are quite different.

  9. #119
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    Btw, from the 2nd to the 11th is not a long wait for an appointment. It's 9 days. That's fairly normal. It's normal to have a weekly appointment in general, working with both their schedule and yours to find a time that works.

    it's the same all around. I do the same with my yoga clients.

  10. #120
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    Ok thanks I'll consider what you all have said. It's also hard to be motivated to do much about this because I feel like I'm losing weight. I ate around 350-400 calories yesterday and 150-200 the day before and I know it's not healthy but it feels like it's a good thing and if I tell anyone they won't understand so they'll encourage me to eat more.

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