Primal Attraction page 25

[wiltondeportes]

I have a question that I will just throw out there. Why is it that intensity scares away so many women? Are there some women that will appreciate this, aside from psycho kinky ladies, or is this universal among all women?

[cori93437]

I have a question that I will just throw out there. Why is it that intensity scares away so many women? Are there some women that will appreciate this, aside from psycho kinky ladies, or is this universal among all women?

That depends on what you mean by "intensity"...

Intensity of commitment or too much emotional intimacy too soon will make a girl run if she is the type that takes it slow with the feelings portion of relationships... which is actually the sane route.

If you mean intense and vigorous sex... I have no clue. Except that from what I understand a lot of women prefer romance and tender lovemaking to a good degree. A good way to see what this looks like is by watching men porn vs porn made specifically for straight women.
This is something I won't even begin to understand... my brain is just not wired that way. I think porn made for women is lame... as is the slow lovey dovey sex thing...
That's my n-1 of course... everyone else's MMV.

[wiltondeportes]

That depends on what you mean by "intensity"...

Intensity of commitment or too much emotional intimacy too soon will make a girl run if she is the type that take it slow with the feelings portion of relationships... which is actually the sane route.

If you mean intense and vigorous sex... I have no clue. Except that from what I understand a lot of women prefer romance and tender lovemaking to a good degree. A good way to see what this looks like is by watching men porn vs porn made specifically for straight women.
This is something I won't even begin to understand... my brain is just not wired that way. I think porn made for women is lame... as is the slow lovey dovey sex thing...
That's my n-1 of course... everyone else's MMV.

Hahahaha...as far as porn goes, I don't watch it. It's really bad for your brain wiring.

I am someone that can definitely make decisions quickly. I bought a house at 20. All within a month: I decided on what to do with my future, what school to go to, and I moved two states away to establish residency. This could be part of it.

Also, I can't even get past the initial stages because girls apparently don't like to be called right away. This is the most asinine concept to me because I feel like....when the feeling is there, just go for it.

I think they might be thinking I am wanting them to be my girlfriend, get married, or something. All I am asking is to hang out, walk in the park, or something. I try to stress that.

And physically, I've always been the hardest worker on any sports team I played on. No one could beat me in competitions of will. I've only had raves in this aspect of things though.

[cori93437]

Porn bad for brain wiring... meh. To each their own.
I honestly don't think it does anything bad to wiring... but that's just my experience.
Like anything else on the face of the earth, someone somewhere will find a way to be addicted to it.

And yes... acting over eager, too much too fast, will scare a lot of girls off.
Relax, one will land in your lap sooner or later.

[wiltondeportes]

What about other aspects of intensity. I feel like women are scared by intelligent discussion.

No big dealio! All I need to do is find a primal, crossfit, animism-liking, theoretical-physics-appreciating, sweet lady with a nice smile and a good sense of humor. Oh, and I hope she smells good.

(not that they need to be primal or crossfit or understanding of my beliefs upon meeting them, but I feel like those who are capable of this are exceedingly rare)

[wiltondeportes]

Porn bad for brain wiring... meh. To each their own.
I honestly don't think it does anything bad to wiring... but that's just my experience.
Like anything else on the face of the earth, someone somewhere will find a way to be addicted to it.

And yes... acting over eager, too much too fast, will scare a lot of girls off.
Relax, one will land in your lap sooner or later.

Also, check this link out.

TEDxGlasgow - Gary Wilson - The Great Porn Experiment - YouTube

[cori93437]

What about other aspects of intensity. I feel like women are scared by intelligent discussion.

No big dealio! All I need to do is find a primal, crossfit, animism-liking, theoretical-physics-appreciating, sweet lady with a nice smile and a good sense of humor. Oh, and I hope she smells good.

(not that they need to be primal or crossfit or understanding of my beliefs upon meeting them, but I feel like those who are capable of this are exceedingly rare)

One of the things that I believe (note: certain folks may see this and tell you I'm off my rocker) is that there are a TON of girls who simply are taught in many ways NOT to engage in intelligent conversation. Social cues tell them that being 'cute' is the way to go... acting coy and even dumbing themselves down to meet the expectations of those around them. I've been observing this for a good 20 years... I think the way our culture has begun to sexualize girls younger and younger in their mode of dress and behavior is a part of this problem.
Girls see their moms reading and participating in teen books (twilight etc) and not really acting like mature role models, watching/trying to emulate 'Housewives' shows where the whole point of existence is to be a hot piece of insecure arm jewelry for some rich guy who dresses scantily and thinks literature is a Glamour magazine. And then they mirror this behavior because they perceive that it is what is desired by men. *sigh* And sometimes is really is unfortunately.
I know some college age girls who you'd swear have split personalities... at their studies they are well spoken and intelligent... the face they present when out is hyper groomed and their dialogue becomes silly. Judging from their chat it seems that this is pretty common...

BUT, there are holdouts. Some girls look around at the vapid Bratz doll thing going on with culture and reject it.
You'll find one.

[cori93437]

Also, check this link out.

TEDxGlasgow - Gary Wilson - The Great Porn Experiment - YouTube

Meh... I've been looking at porn since I was about 11 and swiped my dad's Playboys. (My older brother got in a heap of trouble over that BTW... LOL)

And I sometimes watch internet porn... like when husband is unavailable because of nightshift work hours.
*** As noted in the video I actually don't really watch as wide a variety... I have some favorites that get the job done.
I also watch it sometimes from a non-sexual point of view because I'm fascinated by fetish culture, and the wide variety of weirdness.

But I do believe that there is such thing as over use.
And... well... how is that really much different that guys who jerk off 5 times a day to their 'spank bank' of mental imagery?
Or just plain fantasy imagery... (which I also use for when I'm a little lonely).

Another side note... for myself, when I masturbate somewhat regularly I have a higher drive to be with my husband. *shrug*

So... obviously... there is a difference in watching some porn and masturbating to porn... and actual porn addiction.
If people have addictive response there is a problem...
It's the same thing as drinking a couple of drinks on friday night verses pounding down a 12 pack every evening.

Also... my son never had full unrestricted, unsupervised, access to a PC in out home.
I was called strict by many.
But I felt that spending all that time invariably on porn (what kid wouldn't?) would be bad at his age... teens aren't really known for completely reasonable behavior. LOL
I was aware that he had some magazines and pictures in his room and I never had a problem with that.

[wiltondeportes]

Meh... I've been looking at porn since I was about 11 and swiped my dad's Playboys. (My older brother got in a heap of trouble over that BTW... LOL)

And I sometimes watch internet porn... like when husband is unavailable because of nightshift work hours.
*Note... As noted in the video I actually don't watch as wide a variety... I have some favorites that get the job done.
I also watch it sometimes from a non-sexual point of view because I'm fascinated by fetish culture, and the wide variety of weirdness.

But I do believe that there is such thing as over use.
And... well... how is that really much different that guys who jerk off 5 times a day to their 'spank bank' of mental imagery?
Or just plain fantasy imagery... (which I also use for when I'm a little lonely).

Another side note... for myself, when I masturbate somewhat regularly I have a higher drive to be with my husband. *shrug*

So... obviously... there is a difference in watching some porn and masturbating to porn... and actual porn addiction.
If people have addictive response there is a problem...
It's the same thing as drinking a couple of drinks on friday night verses pounding down a 12 pack every evening.

Also... my son never had full unrestricted, unsupervised, access to a PC in out home.
I was called strict by many.
But I felt that spending all that time invariably on porn (what kid wouldn't?) would be bad at his age... teens aren't really known for completely reasonable behavior. LOL
I was aware that he had some magazines and pictures in his room and I never had a problem with that.

I will have to concede to that last point. My dad as well as both grandpas of mine were alcoholics. In other words, every single male leading to me. I definitely have an addictive personality. Knowing this, I don't do any type of drugs, drink a drop of alcohol, or do other things that would be bad to become addicted to.

This actually brings up something else I was wondering recently. I wonder if "addictive personality" is something I am looking for in someone? Because maybe that describes the brand of intensity I am showing/looking for.

[wiltondeportes]

While we're on genes, my grandpa and grandma were rocket scientists, and my mom was an Olympic-level gymnast. My grandma is a descendant of William Bear Travis, the man who drew the line in the sand (this is where the saying comes from apparently) and lead the fight in the Battle of the Alamo. I'm also related to Nat Turner, the man who lead the biggest slave revolt in American history.

Needless to say, my ancestors were not ones to fall in line.