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    cori93437's Avatar
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    Primal Feet First: In Search of Lost Time or Remembrance of Things Past

    Primal Fuel
    It's about time I got up to this journal business.

    For now...


    I'd like to announce that tomorrow I will be dragging my own personal rainbow, possibly kicking and screaming, out of the dark.

    It's time to see my stylist for a much needed cut and highlight. And the last time I dabbled in some touches of violet the husband complained that the color to cash ratio was stunningly inadequate. That is my translation of what he said of course. So, with his words in mind, I go back to my stylist with every intention of rectifying the situation.

    I've done pink, I've done the touches of violet. This time I'm thinking TEAL. Big ol' chunks of teal, wide swaths even. The color to cash ratio should verily stand up and shout from the rooftops that this girl got her moneys worth!
    The husband may decide that he has a different complaint once he sees it.
    But, I have no responsibilities, no job, no silly corporate rules to follow and...

    So WHY not?

    I'm sure at some point I'll feel like adding something somewhat relevant to this journal, like the reason for the title or some such.
    Not today.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


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    The happy teal/blue hairs...

    Husband is happy that I'm happy and doing what I want to, and all is well.

    It reminds me of this song...

    It's all pow, and fabulous! Seeing it in the mirror makes me outrageously smiley.

    A very conservative looking woman in the shop watched most of the end of the process, when the crazy blue/teal dye was added, with a look of what appeared to mixed consternation and horror.
    After it was done she came to the front while I was paying with the rest of the ladies to have a look... and she told me she really liked it and "I wish I had the balls" in a whisper. LOL
    I made her feel better by explaining that I don't have a job/rules to follow.

    We went to dinner with friends... steak and double steamed veg. You know, broccoli, carrots, and summer squash.
    You would think that a "Steak" restaurant would know how to treat a piece of meat better than that... *sigh*. They totally failed. But I ate a good bit of it, and all the pile of veg. Those were actually good... they were GARLICKY, with real chopped garlic. And garlic makes me happy.

    Husband is getting worried about my "cooties". Aka the reactive state that my skin is currently in due to one of two possible medications. Since when is a face and chest full of hivey micro-pustules not sexy? Zyrtec isn't touching the "itchy" portion of the program so I'm mixing it with Zantac (Yes, I know that Zantac is labeled for acid reflux, but it's the same family of drugs as Zyrtec and it actually works well as a booster... family pharmacists are awesome).
    If drug A is the cause of the problem, then it's not really a problem at all... the symptoms should begin to fade soon and I'll know that I need to avoid it in the future. My reactions tend to escalate with each interaction with an offending substance.
    But, if drug B is the cause... stop the f*king presses. This is the medication that allows me to function every day as if I'm a somewhat "normal" person. Without it I'm screwed, really f*king screwed... my brain pressure rises until I can't walk much or speak normally or remember much of shit. I essentially become a sort of stroke victim. If I can't take this med the doctors will probably want to crack my head open like a coconut (not really, they JUST drill holes) and install a shunt type appliance that has a miserable fail/revision rate... No... just NO! If they tell me that I have to stop this medication I'll feel the need to kick a doctor right square in the balls.

    Tonight, however, I need to sleep... and Benedryl are cute and bright pink like adorbs little candies, so I think I'll have some of those too.

    **Did you see how I took the cute little, innocent, Benedryl instead if the *magic tylenol (aka controlled substance). I'm being good. Very good. Gay Panda's Resolve fairy has come to visit me instead of going to that awful Wisconsin I suppose.
    Last edited by cori93437; 05-17-2012 at 09:05 PM.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


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    Holy hell... Benedryl is nothing to laugh at.
    I slept 12 solid hours and still feel foggy. This is why I never take the Benedryl. Innocent my ass! Those Oxycodone I have are easier on my head. Too bad they don't prevent itchy hivey things too.
    I feel like I've been in a time warpppppppppp...


    Time to pick up milk. I pick up from a very conservative older lady who looks to be darn near 80... the mother of the farm/cow owner.
    I wonder how she will feel about the blue.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


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    Slept too much again... thanks Benedryl! But the horrible hivey reactive face stuff seems to be a bit better.

    This morning I had coffee, good coffee. I was out for a week and used some grocery store coffee. It tasted so flat and uninspiring that I gave in and ordered my specialty coffee that I get in Tampa/Ybor City online and paid shipping. And now the bitter nectar of the gods is MINE again!
    It's summer so I'm on the cold brewed iced coffee. Since introducing my dear sweet husband to this good premium coffee he has suggested that I get a real deal espresso maker this fall when the weather is cool again. I love it when he thinks that ideas are his... I just have to plant the seeds and let them grow.




    What's not so good today... fraudulent charges on bank cards!!! FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU


    Seriously. At least it was husbands card and not mine... because all the other payments/internet accounts revolve around mine, and that is a serious PITA. Been there done that... took about two months to sort it all out. Bleh.
    But in the end I WIN!
    Well... I wish I could shank them in the head with a lolly anyway.


    Yeah... it's just a Robot Chicken kind of day. *sigh*
    Last edited by cori93437; 05-19-2012 at 12:41 PM.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


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    *le sigh*
    This has me in a happy place today... reminding me of my 'misspent youth' and tearing through bars/nightclubs/strip joints being a very bad girl.
    This was 90's bedpost notch scoring GOLD.


    The album is MCMXC a.d. I think... buy it, download the tracks, whatever... skip dinner, light some candles, wrangle a partner, have a couple of drinks, and set the album sucker to 'repeat'. Thank me hours and hours later.

    This has been a public service announcement for the 'lets keep it dirty and fun council' of couples everywhere.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


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    Today was Sunday... there was yard work to do... it got done... at a price.
    What price... I have no clue yet. Husband will be looking for a person to massage the pain away from me when he is at his Phys Therapy appointment in the morning.

    Basically. The yard needed mowing. And weeding.
    I did my duty by walking about with the bigscoopthing and littlerakething and clearing out the puppy landmines (one of our puppys is 95lbs, so yeah... landmines) while husband mowed the front. I had already picked up the fallen twigs and such from front before he mowed that of course...
    Then I decided to grab the wheelbarrow and decimate a weedy patch. Which was great... hot out, but nice. Until I tried to reach for something with my left hand and it said STOPmuthafuckaSTOPPPPP up where the neck/shoulder connect. *sigh*

    And here I am whining about it when before Christmas I couldn't even walk around unsupervised/aided. Derp.
    But that is how it is.

    So, I take a little break... get some water... finish clearing the patch of weeds carefully.
    Then proceed to go and try to do my PT stretches/exercises... while whining like the little bitch I am the whole time (because when muscley shit is unhappy, stretching f8king hurts)!
    OMFG.... owwwwwwwww owwwww ooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

    I got complimented on my pretty blue eyes today by a cute Indian girl. Husband was all... but what about "my" blue eyes. I told him his are invisible now that I have blue hair to set mine off and make them even more sparkly! He was unamused.

    Did I mention that the cute Indian girl was cute?
    Alas... too young for this old gal to do anything but *sigh*over a bit though. But I'll take it.

    Other things I learned today... Sugar is just as addictive as DRUGS like heroin.

    That's why so many rock stars have written songs about lolly pops, and/or died eating them!

    And I'm throwing this one in just because it's awesome and I feel like it.
    Last edited by cori93437; 05-20-2012 at 08:39 PM.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


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    i think your journal and my journal should be besties, and rock out to orgy and butthole surfers and robot chicken all day
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

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    I love your hair! Mine is close to it in color so I decided to add some purple to it to celebrate what would have been my daughter's 16th B-day tomorrow (she died suddenly when almost 9 yrs old) as she surely would have wanted to do something like this. Your's seems so subtle, but mine - well is VERY purple! My older friends who have known me many years and remember my daughter well all understood - didn't even miss a beat - they thought it was great. My newer friends who only have known me since I had my son (he's 4) are all wondering about my sanity a bit and probably whether they want me around their kids (I live in a very conservative area and have never seen any adults with "color" in their hair although they all color their hair). In fact, I'm the weird one who has never colored her hair before. So THANKS for being such a corruptive influence!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by bloodorchid View Post
    i think your journal and my journal should be besties, and rock out to orgy and butthole surfers and robot chicken all day
    You know that your journal and my journal were just meant to be besties!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mud Flinger View Post
    I love your hair! Mine is close to it in color so I decided to add some purple to it to celebrate what would have been my daughter's 16th B-day tomorrow (she died suddenly when almost 9 yrs old) as she surely would have wanted to do something like this. Your's seems so subtle, but mine - well is VERY purple! My older friends who have known me many years and remember my daughter well all understood - didn't even miss a beat - they thought it was great. My newer friends who only have known me since I had my son (he's 4) are all wondering about my sanity a bit and probably whether they want me around their kids (I live in a very conservative area and have never seen any adults with "color" in their hair although they all color their hair). In fact, I'm the weird one who has never colored her hair before. So THANKS for being such a corruptive influence!!!
    Ahh, another fine upstanding adult with COLOR!
    I think that it's a wonderful tribute and nod to your daughter. If people don't get it... pshhhhhhhh.

    Mine is actually a bit brighter in the sun... there are some very light highlights that my stylist put in to give it some pop near the front. I LOVE it. I think that the Teal/Blue will be my summer color. For fall I'm thinking a nice coppery auburn base with either Vermillion or Purple.
    I'm going through a phase. And enjoying it. Kind of hoping it lasts too.

    Yes, I'm another oddball people wonder about. Break all the stereotypes of weird hair color... I'm middle aged (well, near 40), responsible, fairly conservative in dress, have stellar credit, live within my means, and drive a Hybrid!

    I've brought a smile to a small child's face already. 3 years old or so, her little eyes lit up all sparkly and she looked at her dad then me, and pointed and said "blue". It was good. The parent looked confused... that was good too.

    I think that it's rather regrettable that society deems people with "color" outside the "normal hair color spectrum" odd. Color is beautiful, and why not have some fun! It's only hair. No need to be stodgy and "proper" all the time. It's really ridiculous. My cousin is a psychologist who works in an office environment for the state... she gets in trouble for having her toenails too festive because she does the cute seasonal colors with layering. Polka dots, or whatever. WTH???

    Anyway, not I. And since those rules don't apply to me, I'll not be following them.

    When I'm old and it's white... ahhh, the pale blues and lavenders will look smashing with my eyes I think.
    Last edited by cori93437; 05-21-2012 at 11:51 PM.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  10. #10
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    It's one of those nights.
    I miss my mother.
    I miss her because I can't really remember her.
    I miss the idea of a mother. Of a mothers love.
    What I have is a hollow space. A hollow space that casts large shadows and hurts.
    Like a missing leg or arm; a phantom pain of sorts I suppose.
    If she had lived we could have grown to hate each other, or love each other, or both. No way to know.
    But that's not how it works when all you have is the barest glimmer of a memory that you are never certain is quite real, or from family photos, or some fragment that you overheard...
    When you have so little all you really have is a million what ifs, and longing.
    I still cry sometimes, in bed at night alone.
    But husband hasn't been on night shift in forever it seems. So no release.
    I only cry in private. In bed. Mostly silent sobbing even though the house is empty.
    I don't ever want to have to explain why, even to him.
    And I TRUST him, no small feat for me. He knows most all of my horrors.
    It seems too personal for actual words spoken aloud.
    But it's selfish too. She was my mother, it's my pain.
    Part of me doesn't want to share the last shred of her that I have.
    Also, he cannot fix it. He would want to, and he cannot.
    I'm lucky to have him.
    A Pearl Jam kind of night.



    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


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