Primal Feet First: In Search of Lost Time or Remembrance of Things Past page 47

[cori93437]

Leaving on an 8am flight to Memphis tomorrow...
Viewing is Sunday, Funeral Monday... I'll be back home Tuesday evening.

By some miracle of miracles I got into my salon today for a haircut!
Not with my normal gal, but with the owner... which is fine because he is brilliant too.
With all of my travel and turmoil lately I haven't known when I would or would not be in town so didn't know when to make an appointment for... plus my regular stylist is out on maternity leave (went into labor today as a matter of fact)... my poor hairs were looking so shaggy.
I was so glad to get a good trim before flying out in the morning.


So... today I had to shop. Clothes shop.

I hate shopping. Really.
I thought that I had proper clothes that fit me... a month or so ago my charcoal trousers fit, they were a bit loose but passable.
Yesterday when I tried them, not a chance!
Baggeddy bagassed just plain falling down.
I tried to closet shop but it evidently I had pared away all but the single pair and not kept any smaller versions.
And the only thing I came up with was a dark, tweedy/slubby, longish, flare cut skirt.
I loathe skirts.

I really put it off as long as possible today. I headed into a trustworthy shop (Pennys LOL) with only two hours until closing time this evening. What do I need? I have a two day viewing/funeral to attend and all I have is a skirt and a couple of decent button up shirts that I used for classroom volunteering... scratch the shirts too seriously basic. Still losing weight so no reason to buy two pair of pants, I can suck it up and wear a skirt even though I won't enjoy it. Ok... I can handle this...
(I just realized a skirt is in play here, it's cold winter time, pantyhose will need to happen... FML. )

Wow.
Now... as a die hard blue jeans and t-shirts kind of girl(to quote my husband "you're such a boy") lets just say that I should have probably given myself a LITTLE more time.
I did the best I could, but things are definitely WAY more feminine that I am generally comfortable with.

-Skirt I already had- black jersey knit with ivory slub, fitted through the hip and flared, below the knee length. Classic style.
*Charcoal gray pants- check! (these are what I went looking for) Awesomely neutral, trouser cut, I like a wide straight line to the leg. Timeless.
*Charcoal/black/gray mix boucle 3/4 sleeve cardigan- trim has a silver shimmer, modern box shape, no buttons. Classic style.
a.n.a® 3/4-Sleeve Cardigan - jcpenney
*Deep teal/jade green sheer lace front blouse- a bit old fashioned and traditional... a really odd choice for me, but I thought the color worked wonderfully with my red hair and my green/blue eyes.
a.n.a® Lace-Front Blouse - jcpenney
*Ivory beaded/embellish silky v-neck tank- again, huge departure for me... It was a simple solution to not looking like somehting was just plain and completely unspecial. I hope I don't freeze in it.
a.n.a® Embellished Tank Top - jcpenney
Of course I had to grab a couple of camis for the tank and the blouse because they are both rather sheer.
And I'll also be wearing my official 'emergency ultra conservative black pumps' complete with a 2inch chunky heel, not too pointed toe, and small silver buckle! They probably qualify as genuinely unattractive.
I'll be wearing my black suede VFF performa janes while traveling however.

So there it is... I'll be walking around all day for the next TWO entire days looking like a real LADY. With real lady clothes, and make-up, and a tight control on profanity.
That shit is just crazy.

What is crazier is that it's possible that I might consider wearing this stuff later... like the embellished tank and sweater together... even the teal blouse... with JEANS of course.
Gotta dress it down!

**Edit... Note to self: the next few days are going to be an absolute running the gauntlet of trying to stick to the food plan! This is a SOUTHERN funeral. Clean un-sauced, un-breaded, un-adulterated and disgusting, meat and vegetables may be nearly impossible to find... and that is something I do NOT know how to handle.
I can put on the 'lady costume' on for a few days no problem at all... but bad food will make me sick and that I can't abide. *sigh*

[cori93437]

I arrived back home the evening of Tuedsday the 20th... and woke up thr 21st with a horrible sore throat.
Stress, plus 4 airplanes in 3 days... I guess it was inevitable.

From my tonsils, to laryngitis, to full on bronchitis it gradually crept lower and lower right into my lungs... and I'm still sick. Bleh!
Not ever "sick sick"... no runny nose, or fever, or any of the other crap.
Evidently I can hold that at bay.
But a vague "I'm not so good" and "OMG, my throat hurts SO bad" + "I have NO voice".
It's over a week since I could actually talk.
I finally gave in a went to my doc, because ginger tea and chicken soup full of garlic and curry wasn't cutting it.
Antibiotics. Grrr...

My voice vacillates between a whisper and a croak... it's adorable! Not.

In other news. I'm an official Vibram Fivefinger WHORE!
It's OK. I accept it.

While at my brothers house in TN previously I snagged a pair of Seeyas in the gray base color with green and neon orange on them for super cheap on ebay... bought and maybe worn once (wrong size issue)... still had the plastic thing that holds the tags attached to them.
Now husband asked for a new pair (and he is getting some... his third I think) and I spotted these men's Speeds in gold/green!

OMG!
I had to have them! (discounts make everything OK)
Let's not dice over the fact that husband is on pair number three and this puts me at over a dozen. Because I also snagged a second (backup) pair of smartwool classics in a tan color... my original pair is charcoal. I had given up on getting a second pair of smartwools a while back as they stopped making them ages ago... HAD to buy them!

And I have a further "List" of VFF needs... because of outrageous color combinations. There are some black/hotpink/orange (frescas) ones and some black/green/pink (spyridons) ones.
Need, need, NEED!
Need more money... need all the shoes!

[Pebbles67]

I have 1 pair...but I love them. Feel better soon.

[namelesswonder]

I still haven't gotten any minimalist shoes. I think the strapless (kind of open ballet style) VFF's look most comfortable for me and my high arches. I don't think a closed shoe would be very comfortable to me. One strap would be okay, but the more sneaker types would be "claustrophic" for my feet, haha.

[naiadknight]

I have 3 pairs, plus the skeletoes and two pairs of moccasins with only suede for a sole. There's the black KSOs, the black Jayas, the purple/ grey Classics, the black/ grey Skeletoes, the tan mocs, and the purple mocs.

[Owly]

I love my Smartwool ones--I also have the charcoal. I still hope they make them again. I also have a pair of grey and turquoise Sprints, some black suede Treks, and the Performa Janes. My poor Sprints are finally getting holes in them, though. They've made it over two years, so I can't complain too much. Besides, it gives me an excuse to get some new ones!

I just found a cute pair of black flats that are basically like ballet slippers with a more grippy sole and a patent leather toe. They are pretty much the most comfortable dressy shoes I've ever worn. So awesome.

[cori93437]

My GBFF(gay best friend fairy ) Resolve and I have been tight as usual and I'm down a few more lbs... which has put me down another 'notch' on scale again. A notch being a 10lb increment. I like that.

Of course GBFF does do other things too... like encourages me to buy make-up. Which its just weird, but it's happening lately.
Cleaning out of old products, purchasing of NEW!
Meh... kind of seriously needed to be done.
My mascaras were all well over a year old I'm guessing (if not 2-3 years... one of them had no discernible writing left on it). Drying out, flaking, just full of bacteria if nothing else. I had stopped wearing them for a while... now I wear a auburn brown color that darkens them but still makes them go towards red like my hair (so triksy!). Lots of broken blushes, and powders with just a ring around the pan.
Going red haired has meant at least doing a bit around my eyes to fake it better and not look like a blonde with dyed red hair... and I'm playing around a bit too.
Likely a bit stress motivated as well. This too shall pass and all.

He also made me buy chartreuse green base coat and glitter sparkles for my toes...

[canio6]

Huh, I had to look up what chartreuse was. As a guy my color palette is blue, black, brown, and more blue. That said, if I had to match a color with glitter sprinkles, well, chartreuse sounds like a winner.

[cori93437]

So, last week was my birthday. I turned 39 on the 28th.
But this is not a normal *OMG crisis I'm old* post. Quite the opposite.

There were no big doings for the day. I was kind of sick with laryngitis on it's way to bronchitis, I had a very important first appointment with my new neurologist (who I LOVE so far, another topic-another day), and later I'd be going out to dinner with husband and in-laws, and indulging myself in some Japanese food including sushi.

At my neuro appointment my new doc decided to be extra diligent and send me for a blood panel since I've been on harsh meds for a while(see... good guy). I go over to the hospital for the blood draw and they have a new check in thing that scans your palm instead of you needing to pull out ID's and things and they send me to the registration to get hooked up.

A pretty woman about my age, maybe a bit older, conservatively dressed, really great glasses frames, smiles at me and gets started. She is really nice. But hey... it's a PR job, right? Well, before long she had complimented my hair because the length and color is different than on my ID and told me how flattering it is now, then complimented my shirt (just a nice high end charcoal t-shirt) because I guess the color was flattering, then she noted that it was my birthday and my age and told me that I didn't look near that old and how wonderful my skin was, then something else...
The only way she could have possibly flattered me more would have been if she had just gone ahead and asked me out on a date.

Through all of it she was casually chatty and professional. Not too overt or pushy anything. And I'm sure my level of comfort with her... and my own flirty smiles... played a role in her level of forwardness. So I don't want to give that idea.


A little later I had another errand to run. I had to stop in and get my car washed at the full service place cause I'm a spoiled baby like that. I left it out for a quick run through and went in to read while it was done. A well dressed guy, kinda cute too, came in a sat near me after I was in there and a few minutes later asked me the time... I responded in my whisper/laryngitis. And then it was plain he was blatantly striking up a conversation. I told him I was just in for a quick wash as I had plans for going out, and he actually said something about going with me! (No shame in his game at all. He had me chuckling.) I explained it was for my birthday and it was a Family dinner... He commented that it was his birthday in a week or so and he would be 34!! I quickly told him that he was mistaken then because I was 39. And he said something like "I never would have known... you're gorgeous".

Ahhh... Flattery.
I like it.
I know exactly what it is, and I still like it.

I came home and told my husband that two people had hit on me that day... and some of the details.
He asked if he needed to "shoot the guy". It's OK though he was mostly joking.

Later I had dinner with my in-laws who have not seen me for MONTHS... and therefor many Lbs. Neither of them noted either my weight loss or my improved health. And I cringed at it... which is stupid. *When I was in TN most of my own family also did not mention the change in my looks.

If I can see it and feel it. If my husband can see it and feel it. And if complete strangers can see it and feel it, which is obvious to me at this point (people just don't hit on and really unhealthy people like that), then relying on the *nods* of relatives and those we are trained by society to "look to" for approval is simply ridiculous.


I relayed this little story about how my birthday went today because I stepped on the scale this morning and felt impatient, and that's not like me.
My weight has not gone up, it's the same.
It just went down into a brand new 10lb bracket a day or two ago.
The fact that I didn't lose ANOTHER Lb today is completely normal.

I need to relax.

I'm getting close to one of those BIG *meaningful* NUMBERS. One of those places, those real/imaginary lines, that we sometimes cross that has not been crossed in a very long time.

I'm just reminding myself how far I've come.
Slow and steady wins the race.
I may not cross that line this week, or next week, or even this month.
And I'm not going to try and crash it off suddenly with potatoes or some other 'hack' just because I'm close because I know that won't be good for ME.
But I will cross that line.
And until then, I'm gorgeous just the way I am.

[Pebbles67]

Beautiful Post. I am having the same kinds of experiences.

You seem to be doing so great health wise. Could you tell me what your eating plan looks like these days? I'm still looking for the right combo for me.