Primal Feet First: In Search of Lost Time or Remembrance of Things Past page 24

[Saoirse]

selective hearing is definitely something i take for granted. i already have a hard enough time dealing with the noise i'm supposed to hear, i can't imagine hearing everything.

people staring is a particular pet peeve of mine. generally when i see that happening, i look the person straight in the eye for a few seconds and then make a really stupid face. i hope the neurologist takes your case.

[cori93437]

Saturday was one of my bimonthly scheduled Saturday Morning Torture Times.
Husband calls it Massage, and makes jokes about happy endings.
This is only because he has not had the special 'pleasure' of experiencing deep tissue and pressure point release style massage/torture.
If it's fun and relaxing... they aren't doing it right!
I'm still sore.

After that husband brought me home for some relaxing/recovery while he took the Bronco for a new set of shoes... he went up a size or two to 36inch Super Swampers.
Why yes, it IS a 'mud truck'.

We were supposed to do a little shopping in the afternoon and then have a quiet dinner, but out of the blue husband got a text from his mother inviting us over for 'cake' and stating that they were leaving to go to their vacay spot in North Carolina almost immediately (they left early this morning).
I love when she drops last minute bombs.
We had not had dinner yet, but she had... but wasn't inviting us for dinner but wanted us to come right away.
I slapped some burgers together and we chowed them after I scrounged up some remaining but meager salady stuff.
Then I had husband take a bit of a detour by a local high end bakery that makes everything from scratch and has detailed ingredient lists and got me some cheesecake with the top filled in with beautiful DARK chocolate ganache. She had 3 slices (slices meaning hefty wedges) left... we got them all. The SHAME!
The ingredients were very clean. About as 'primal' a dessert as I could buy quickly and not cook it myself. Or have an entire cake thing I cooked for myself around for me to eat on it ALL week/weak.
I only took one slice into the inlaws house... the other two remained on ice in a cooler.
Father in law spotted it and, I'm guessing because it looked WAY better than the lame-o bar shaped carrot cake from the grocery store deli, asked me if I had brought enough for everyone.
I asked him if he had expected me to come over with nothing and just watch everyone else eating cake since I can't eat it (they are well aware that I don't eat anything with leavening) and finished with "Besides, I really didn't think you would all want this kind since you already chose to have carrot cake."
It shut him up.
Mother in law claimed again that she forgot... she always says that.
Last time we stopped by on the way somewhere together she suggested that husband eat the dinner she had cooked... spaghetti with meat sauce and sausages... and I said "But neither of us have had dinner yet." And she said "Yes, HE can have dinner though..." I looked right at her and said "So then he has to take me somewhere else to eat by myself? Does that make sense?"
Uggggghhhhhhhhhh....
And this is the better part of my family.

So yeah... I ate chocolate ganache covered cheesecake yesterday.
It was delicious.
And those two left over pieces...
Husband and I each had one tonight.
And it was delicious again!
And the scale did not go down at all this week...
Which I should know better than to expect since it went down twice the last week.
And since this is my 'special' week.
Or week leading up to special week... whatever.
Yeah... special week. Bleh.
I totally don't give a shit that I ate ganache covered cheesecake two days in a row!
I'll get the tally for that damage later... I can already FEEL it (bloaty).
I'm not even glancing at the scale until about Wed. or Thur.
The whole system is jacked, regardless of the delicious inputs.

I also continue to have anxiety about the doctor situation...
Between special week and doctor anxiety and feeling like crap...
It's a damn good thing there wasn't a WHOLE cheesecake in my house.

(Can you find the pun in this picture... )

[cori93437]

Playing the waiting game with doctors is no fun.
My neuro-opt sent a referral to a neurosurgeon on the 28th.
Today, I finally got confirmation (after 3 calls, so I feel like a harasser now) from the neurosurgeons office that the referral was indeed received, and is in the docs review file.
Now...
Waiting, waiting, and waiting some more to see if he accepts me.
I hear he is picky.
He is actually a pediatric neurosurgeon who takes some adult Sha-jay-jay cases.
He is a pediatric neurosurgeon because of the increased likelihood of actually DOING real 'in the brain' brain surgery... 'sez husband who has read every article ever written about the man.
I'm hoping I'm "interesting" enough because I also hear he is very good at it.
Yes, we adults have to be interesting to get to be his patients... and I'm guessing we must also offer him a high likelihood of digging about in our gray matter.
I think I've got both matters handled tidily, but one never knows.
Fingers crossed and stuff.

[cori93437]

I had to leave the house again today.
Crazy I tell ya!
My whole little world gets out of whack when this happens.

I had to go pick up my scrip from Walmart since they didn't have enough to fill it when I took it last week.
And it's one of those "not used much" drugs so they couldn't get it on the daily delivery truck either.
I had to take the measly 4 days worth they would hand over and hope that it would arrive on the weekly warehouse truck like they said.
It did.
While we were out we had to stop and get the dogs some food, and GSD needed a new bed.
He got a cushy memory foam mattress... he's an uptown dog now!
Though not quite as uptown as when he just takes up 75%of the sofa.
Husband made me look at the marine fishes...
He has no clue what is compatible and what is not.
He points and says "What about that one?"
And I have to explain the noes and maybes and possibly ifs...
We did spot a smart looking Falco Hawkfish.
But I'll need more tank real estate to make it happen.
I let husband know that a new MEGA tank would be good... then I could say yes to the cute things he finds.

After that he needed to stop by our old gym to see someone.
We cancelled our member ship last year when I got really sick and he was injured and waiting for knee surgery, and going to Phys Therapy 3 times a week anyway, which he still does.
I've thought a few times how nice it might be to be able to at least go do yoga again.
But many of the regular poses would be big trouble for me.
Anything head down is a guaranteed disaster... also things requiring lots of balance and effort.
Yes, I'm completely irrational in wanting to go back to yoga.
No one wants a lady in the back of the class having happy stroke out times in a public area like that.
Also, as soon as we walked in I knew it would never, ever, work... even if I could drive.
The open acoustics of the place, music, voices, and equipment noises were overwhelming and disorienting almost immediately even wearing my headphones.
Bleh.

So... I retreated to Netflix and watched The Buddha documentary this evening for good vibes.
And then dug around and found Healing Yoga for Aches and Pains in the Netflix instant watch section as well.
Which appears to be highly modified stretches, supported poses using a chair, and some good relaxation stuff.
All especially designed for broken people... *tiny rays of hope shining*
The routine is also conveniently broken down into three 10 min segments.
I think I'm going to give it a try in addition to the bit of walking I do on the treadmill.

Perhaps Ganesha will be awesome and remove the obstacles holding me back from the yoga...

Or perhaps I'll fall on my head and crash via my own serious lack of buddhi,
And I'll continue to be stuck with something more like this for my allotted sections of 10minutes at a time.

Keep on truckin!

[drssgchic]

*sending healing yoga-y thoughts your way*

Because that cat just looks . . . not right. The eyes make me think the internal dialogue is "Someone is going to diiiieeee"

[cori93437]

On my face it turns out to be more... "It must be done, unless some kind soul appears and shoots me" I'm sure.

Today:
My house SMELLS Duh-Liiiissssh-Ussssssss!
Beef shanks are roasting in the oven with the standard set up.
Celery, carrots, little portabellas, potatoes... and generous cloves of garlics...
Sprinkled with thyme and red pepper flake...
Doused with Cream sherry and some balsamic vinegar.
Topped with a tomato paste, sauce, spice mix...

So I have to just SMELL it all day.

While husband is at work blissfully unaware..
That I'm being TORTURED!

I'm going to try and yoga zen my way out of mental anguish over beefy things I want to gnaw mode.

[cori93437]

Well... waiting paid off.
Waiting to step on the scale that is.
(Because I'm still waiting for the stoooooooopid doctors office to contact me with a simple 'yes' or 'no' so that I can either relax and know I have a doctor,or start back at square one of the process of finding a good doctor... you don't really want someone with bad ratings possibly cutting your head open do you? *sigh* ...yeah, still some anxiety over this one... need more zen.)

ANYway... back to that scale!
I stepped on it today and found a NEW low weight... which ends in a ZERO!

Sooooo... the next drop will be into a new set of numbers.
and that always just FEELS more significant for some reason...
even though it's not and it's still just 'a pound less'.
Whatevs! Let me keep my small illusions.
That drop will cause some significant Primal rejoicing!

I'm still trying to chase the remainder of the Russian Circus out of town, but wutaryagonnado... *shrug*
They show up when they feel like it, and leave accordingly as well. Bastards.

[drssgchic]

Woo hoo!

And +1 for Who's Line

[Finnegans Wake]

Celebrate small victories where you can find them, right?

What Buddha doc did you watch, BTW?

[cori93437]

Celebrate small victories where you can find them, right?

What Buddha doc did you watch, BTW?

If not for celebrating small victories we would lead very dull lives indeed!
Always waiting for that 'something big'. Bah!
Someone else can have that... Not I.

The David Grubin one from PBS... it was good.
I love eastern Phil., and as 'religious' as some people have made Buddhism since... I don't believe that that was the original intention at all.