I see no one has responded to you yet. I am not a therapist. I am a psychiatric nurse. There must be places near you where you can seek help. Call around. Some places take various insurances including medicaid, and some places have a sliding scale. You may not even care about insurance. If you don't make a connection with a thereapist, try someone else. You need to feel you can trust them. You might also try looking for a psychologist or a LMHC (licensed mental health counselor).