"why are you eating my friends, Mom?" page

[cave_dame]

I have a very sensitive little veggie 4 year old who doesn't like smelling meat, seeing meat, shopping for meat. I am newly primal, coming off a 14 year stretch as a vegetarian/vegan. I feel healthier than I have in years and will continue to eat meat. How do I discuss this with my daughter? I respect how she feels (although I wish she would eat primal with me) but I'm kind of at a loss when she says things "please don't eat my friends". Any advice?

[Danielle5690]

Ouch. That's a tough one. Maybe have a "circle of life" talk with her, and talk about lots of animals (especially ones she likes) that have to eat other animals in order to survive...?

[quelsen]

only you can navigate this, however what about veggie tails?

are you actually eating some animal she has affection for or has she over generalized this to mean meat = dog/cat/bunny.

additionally, while we all have built in personality children are hugely and possibly permanently effected by what affects them. As a former vegan you taught her that meat = fluffy loving animal to be protected. you taught her all she is telling you... you can replace that teaching and learning.

also find out who else has taught her this and more importantly who is keeping the fire stirred up. if it isnt you then who is it.

i suspect that some cognitive therapeutic approach would work wonders in about 15 - 30 days.

[cave_dame]

Ouch. That's a tough one. Maybe have a "circle of life" talk with her, and talk about lots of animals (especially ones she likes) that have to eat other animals in order to survive...?

Thank you, I was thinking that too.

[cave_dame]

Also, just to make it clear - we never indoctrinated her with veggie/vegan propaganda. We simply ommited meat. She has always had dairy and eggs. I did go through many raw vegan stints but her diet was never that hardcore. She has been offered meat by relatives and always turned it down. We never told her that meat comes from animals, I'm not sure how she figured that out or where she heard it.

[drssgchic]

You might not have said it directly- but like the child of a constant dieter all of a sudden "counting calories"- she wants to be like mommy- so she's going to pick up on things.

Would there be a way for you to discuss respect of animals while knowing that they are necessary for optimal health?

My first thought was "Because they taste good!" with a big, toothy, predatory grin. There's a reason I've chosen to be childless.

[billp]

What I do is demonstrate where in the body the cut comes from (using the child as an example, natch) and say what animal. I also found that pieces of animal fat and skin are not necessarily considered meat and can be eaten separately - which is a good way for me to lose the eye in my rib eye, but one has to make sacrifices.

If you eat a lot of bacon and pork, then Peppa Pig is very useful. Then every time you can speculate about which of them the chop could have come from - "This bit is very small, like George". "This big chop probably came from Mummy Pig *sniff* no, Daddy Pig"

Callous, but turns conflict into amusement and defuses the "do as you are told" tension.

Think about horses (which are also good to eat). They scare easily, don't they? But they used to use horses in the very heat of the battle, as cannons boomed and people and other horses were torn to pieces around them. And the horses did not get scared, and carried on towing the artillery about and carrying out cavalry manoeuvres, all as normal under fire, with blood and death everywhere. How? Simply repeated exposure. Manoeuvring in smoke, loud bangs and other horses and people milling about screaming was practised so often it became a game, just like fox hunting or racing gets to be for a horse - something they were not only used to but liked.

Anyway, of course kids aren't animals, but gamesmanship, repetition and distinctly callous fun are probably what you want to focus on.

[activia]

Watch lion king (or at least the beginning where circle of life is discussed) then discuss it with her.

[Mud Flinger]

I have a 4 yr old and while it can be hard to explain some things, I teach that some animals are for eating (food) and others are not (pets). As a rule, we do not name our food (we raise chickens and turkeys). At the end of last summer, my son made a comment about not killing our turkeys as they were pets. I reminded my son that they were food and did not have names, nor live in the house or take family pictures like our dogs do. The sooner you teach the reality of life to your kids, the easier many things are to accept for them IMO. I also teach that we thank the animal for their sacrifice (yes, I even thank the chickens daily for their eggs) and honor them. We treat them well and only buy meat from local sources that do so as well.
Best of luck - parenting is not easy!

[billp]

You might not have said it directly- but like the child of a constant dieter all of a sudden "counting calories"- she wants to be like mommy- so she's going to pick up on things.

Definitely.

Would there be a way for you to discuss respect of animals while knowing that they are necessary for optimal health?

I wouldn't bother. Just comes across as defensive.

My first thought was "Because they taste good!" with a big, toothy, predatory grin. There's a reason I've chosen to be childless.

On the contrary. There are few kids in the world who wouldn't immediately burst out laughing, especially if you added a "Like little girls!" to it. Rarely a day goes by without my casually mentioning various animals that are known to mostly like eating little girls.