11-27-2012, 12:31 AM
PB it sounds like you had healthy reflective day.
I for one agree that the memorial service is a great idea, those rituals have been used for centuries for a very good reason. The act of gathering together and celebrating your dads precious life allows those who loved him to remember special moments even if some of them are sad or funny or unpleasant.
Often people are not sure wether to talk about a person who has passed to a loved one . This does not give the bereaved chances to talk about their loss or their memories. Sometimes people get stuck becuse of this. I know this because I have counselled people through lifeline through their grief and loss.
In reading your journal I don't think this is a worry for you but I thought I would share.
Good luck with the renovations
Last edited by jacmac; 11-27-2012 at 12:38 AM.
11-27-2012, 08:17 AM
Thank you, Jackie.
Originally Posted by jacmac
Yes, I think the memorial service (a week from Saturday) will be a good thing. By then all the construction mess will be gone too. I think letting go of this house and letting go of my father kind of go hand in hand for me. He was so much a part of this place that he built and it was such a huge part of his identity. I think that it is fitting to put his ashes here.
It somehow feels like losing your parents is the final stage in growing up. That moment when you realize that the elders of the tribe that you have always turned to for advice and counsel are not there anymore and YOU are now one of the elders that people look to. WHAM! That kind of hits you right in the face.
Well, more Goodwill sorting to do today. I'm going to go through my kitchen stuff. No one person needs 8 spatulas. 2 maybe.
Then I am going to tackle the closet. That isn't SO bad because, as I have changed sizes, I've gotten rid of stuff but there is still too much.
11-27-2012, 10:34 AM
I will do that. Thank you for the resources!
Originally Posted by Paleobird
11-27-2012, 11:23 AM
Thank you for sharing the story of your father and his journey. I need to think and hear about health being the centerpiece of this journey.
11-27-2012, 03:52 PM
Glad to hear about the memorial service. The one for my Mom was so uplifting. My sons spoke and I sang. Also her friends told stories about her life. It was a very helpful part of the journey.
11-27-2012, 04:58 PM
Tell him I have been able to reduce my Phenoarbitol by 25% while maintaining total seizure control due to ketosis. I plan on reducing further gradually. It works.
Originally Posted by MarissaLinnea
Yes, health. Long term health. Living past 100 health.
Originally Posted by Kymma
Yes, I think it is a nice idea. I had been just going to take his ashes out surfing with me but then everyone else wanted a service and I figured that the togetherness of a group of people would help everyone. I was kind of just being selfish wanting to have it be just him and me catching one last wave together.
Originally Posted by Pebbles67
11-27-2012, 06:42 PM
Y'know, Robin, you could always take just a small portion of his ashes surfing with you, and bury the rest on the property.
11-27-2012, 10:15 PM
True. If I took a ziploc baggie sized scoop out, nobody would ever know the difference.
Originally Posted by Goldie
11-28-2012, 08:12 AM
I was just going to suggest the same. The place that cremated him may even get you a scoop or two for you if you have any qualms - they are usually quite helpfull.
Originally Posted by Goldie
11-28-2012, 08:39 AM
Nah. I don't have any squeemishness about that. I changed his diapers when he was alive. Now that was difficult. Handling his ashes is not a big deal.
Originally Posted by Mud Flinger
Well, I seem to have most of the "administrative" stuff wrapped up. (Contacted social security, his pension fund, bank account stuff, getting things that were on autopay like the utilities changed to my name and account, etc.) His HMO is still contacting him to confirm upcoming appointments. (Left hand, meet right hand.) It seems there is paperwork that follows us from the moment we are born until well after our deaths.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with a lawyer to get my own living trust re-written to reflect the changes in my life. I know we are all busy and death is not something that is easy to think about, but I really think everyone should "have their affairs in order". You never know when something could happen.
The fact that my Dad had already signed his house over and put me on as co-signer on his accounts just made things so much easier. In a time when people are dealing with grief, the last thing they need to hassle with are money matters. Also, if you trust someone well enough to do that as my Dad did with me, there is no inheritance tax involved. Why should the government get a big bite of the family nest egg just because someone passes away?