Paleobird's Next Big Adventure page 151

[zoebird]

Sounds like you are doing well -- and I'm glad that you had some time to yourself to do good things.

Hopefully, you'll be able to take dad (and pup!) to the beach when things settle a bit, too. i know after I had DS, I needed to be outside. I was ever the only mom hiking in the snow with a kiddo, but goodness knows I would have lost it if I hadn't been outside.

much love to you both!

[Paleobird]

Yeah, I'm sure Dad would like to see the ocean again. He's the one who taught me how to surf. It did me a world of good Monday to just sit there on the sea wall and contemplate the breakers.

The pattern around here seems to be settling into breakfast about 9 or 10, read the paper, take a nap, get up have a little snack like yogurt and berries while reading the same paper again, take another nap, get up in time for dinner, watch the newshour and fall asleep halfway through (7:30ish). Rinse. Repeat.

I know that, when the time comes, I would like to take my Dad's ashes out for a swim with me so that he can ride one last wave. Probably totally illegal but I really don't think the Pacific Ocean would mind.

I will try to find some time when he has the energy between now and then to give him a chance to feel the sea air.

[Goldie]

You and your Dad are in my thoughts a lot, Robin.

My Dad, my brother, and I planted rose bushes on Mom's grave. Roses were her all-time favorite. When the time comes, take your Dad's ashes swimming. It will be good for both of you.

*hugs*

[Owly]

My brothers and I took my mother's ashes to a mountain waterfall she loved and dug them in under a massive cedar. It was hard but beautiful to take one last walk there with her. Also illegal, but I don't care, it was the right place for that goodbye.

[zoebird]

Perhaps he'd like a nap at the beach. There are two naps in there, so perhaps you pack everything in advance, after breakfast bundle him into the car and away you go. Then he can nap there. I like to nap on the beach myself.

And, hopefully his body is recovering a bit as well, too. sometimes we need sleep to repair. His body is probably trying to figure out how.

[winencandy]

Robin,
Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and your dad.

[Paleobird]

You and your Dad are in my thoughts a lot, Robin.

My Dad, my brother, and I planted rose bushes on Mom's grave. Roses were her all-time favorite. When the time comes, take your Dad's ashes swimming. It will be good for both of you.

*hugs*

Thanks, Goldie. That sounds lovely. Growing living rose bushes are better than bringing cut flowers,

My brothers and I took my mother's ashes to a mountain waterfall she loved and dug them in under a massive cedar. It was hard but beautiful to take one last walk there with her. Also illegal, but I don't care, it was the right place for that goodbye.

I figure it's the don't ask, don't tell policy. I don't think anyone really cares as long as you keep it private.

Perhaps he'd like a nap at the beach. There are two naps in there, so perhaps you pack everything in advance, after breakfast bundle him into the car and away you go. Then he can nap there. I like to nap on the beach myself.

And, hopefully his body is recovering a bit as well, too. sometimes we need sleep to repair. His body is probably trying to figure out how.

A nap on the beach sounds heavenly.

Robin,
Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and your dad.

Thanks, WnC. I don't keep up with everyone's journals the way I used to. How've you been?

[Paleobird]

Tigers and Indians in the backyard, oh, my!

Yesterday got really weird. Dad's best friend from work days visited earlier and everything was fine. Dad just seemed like a slightly weaker version of his old self. Then about 4pm Dad started seeing stuff that wasn't there again. This time it was an Indian guy complete with a feather headdress and several tigers, he wasn't sure if there were four of five, that were behind the Indian guy who was sitting in a backyard patio chair. Dad was debating out loud the wisdom of going out to warn the guy of the danger of being eaten by tigers but then possibly letting the tigers in the house. He was waving his arms and pointing trying to get the guy's attention and warn him about what was behind him in the bushes.

I told him that I think the SD Zoo had all of its tigers back in their cages for the night so I don't think it should be a problem and that the Indian guy looked like he could take care of himself. Then I asked if he would prefer salmon or chicken for dinner and changed the subject.

This has happened to me before. My Grandmother got like this in her last few months. She saw entire marching bands come through the living room, cats that we didn't have, and a chain gang of prisoners working out by the front of our house. This was after her eyesight was completely gone. It's so weird to deal with somebody else's delusions. Do you play along and pretend that you see it too or do you tell them it's not there? The problem comes in when you trip over imaginary cats (this happened to Grandma).

At least with Grandma, you could explain to her, "You're blind, remember? So what you think you are seeing is not really there." But how do you explain that to Dad whose eyesight is just fine that he is not really seeing a bunch of tigers in the backyard?

Last night was really rough too with Dad getting up every hour from midnight til 6 am and wandering around until he bumped into something and woke me. How do you tell if someone is "sleepwalking" as opposed to just losing their marbles?

Goodness, I'm tired and it is just the start of the day.

[Jac]

Hi PB - I dropped by to tell you that I'm thinking of you. About the delusions, very definitely don't challenge them. They're very real to your lovely dad and there's no way you'll convince him otherwise. The old school of thinking is about 'reorienting to reality', but please don't buy into that. It's patronising and alienating. You handled it perfectly - reassure him by providing a way of reducing the anxiety associated with anything he sees, and then change the subject as though it has all been sorted and it's time to move to the next activity. Perfect.

[Paleobird]

Thanks for the input Jac. It's good to know that medical minds have pondered this question too. I just figured out the changing the subject method when I was taking care of Grandma was just the easiest and felt like it was the least stressful for her. Nobody likes to have their face rubbed in the fact that they are slipping a few cogs.

What worries me though is that he is going to hurt himself while having a delusional episode like this. The "beginning of the end" for my Grandma was when she thought she saw and heard my Dad (her son) as a child calling to her, "Mommy" from across the bedroom. She jumped up, fell and broke her hip.