Paleobird's Next Big Adventure page 132

[JudyCr]

Supportive, not sportive. Stupid phone.

lol ain't it the truth.. Sometimes I look at what my iPad has changed words to and freak, of course, other times it corrects.

PB, I'm just thrilled that he is dealing with life fairly well and that he has wonderful doctors. For him to realize he doesn't need to drive anymore is major, please give him a hug from me and take him anywhere he wants to go

[magicmerl]

My FIL is just facing this (or will do in the next year). He really shouldn't be driving now with his vision.

[Jac]

My grandfather, who has been gone for many years now, had a car accident in his last years. Not a major one - he backed into a lady's car. He was outraged though, and told us that she should have gotten out of the way since he couldn't turn his head to check - therefore it was all her fault.

PB, your Dad's decision-making is awesome. Dignity and grace indeed. He's entitled to be a bit grumpy about it at times, as you have said. The memory problems are pretty horrible, though - they must be scary for both of you. (((hugs))).

I've just been to visit my Mum. She's only 67, but has huge inflammation and pain issues so is becoming more overweight and less mobile. She informed me that since she'll 'never' be able to afford moving to a retirement village, her plan is to buy a caravan and live at the beach. This from the woman who can't bear to think of a less than 3 bedroom house so she's got room for her craft stuff . I've talked to her about moving in with us, or about at least moving closer and where the real estate is cheaper, but she won't. Now she's planning to move to the other side of the island to a camping ground! I alternate between laughing and hugging her, and quietly gritting my teeth. I worry more about her than I do about my teenagers!

[sbhikes]

Forget the phone. I'm often shocked at what my fingers have typed.

[Paleobird]

Grandma insisted that her kids "stole" her car. She's convinced she's living in a hellhole so her kids can take her money. I'm guessing they didn't look at any Medicare nursing homes if she thinks hers is a hellhole. She told Mom, after Mom had spent several months there with my aunt who was dying of cancer, that she was worthless and was never there when Grandma needed her. Alzheimer's is apparently hell.

That's scary. Imagine if your loved one didn't even recognize you any more. The idea of physical decline is sucky of course but the idea of mental decline is terrifying to me.

I remember how hard it was for my mother to give up driving and eventually to give up going anywhere on her own because she would get lost and was also worried that her problems with cognitive processing and sequences would lead her to forget to look before she walked out into the street. Being conscious of one's decline must be hard, even when the person handles it with dignity and grace. Your dad is very fortunate to have you being so sportive, and I'm sure it makes it easier for him to make those choices knowing you are there for him.

Oh, sisters. I don't have any, but I try not to be that sister to my brothers. As the oldest, it's too easy to sweep on in and try to fix it all, especially now that our mother is gone. I have to remind myself that they are grown men with their own lives and that meddling doesn't help any of us. It's a tough balance sometimes to support them in their young adulthood (they are much younger) without being overbearing.

Cognitive processing. Sequences. These are exactly what is wrong with Dad. I think a lot of why he was not eating properly before I stepped in and started cooking was because it was just to much to process mentally. Let's see, the coffee filter goes there, then you put the coffee in, and it helps if you start the water boiling first. Put butter in pan, then crack eggs. It all just got to be too complicated and so he would eat a banana or two, or three.

Supportive, not sportive. Stupid phone.

Hah!

lol ain't it the truth.. Sometimes I look at what my iPad has changed words to and freak, of course, other times it corrects.

PB, I'm just thrilled that he is dealing with life fairly well and that he has wonderful doctors. For him to realize he doesn't need to drive anymore is major, please give him a hug from me and take him anywhere he wants to go

Yeah, that can't be easy for him but he's managing well.

My FIL is just facing this (or will do in the next year). He really shouldn't be driving now with his vision.

There are so many elderly people on the road who really shouldn't be. It really is a menace.

My grandfather, who has been gone for many years now, had a car accident in his last years. Not a major one - he backed into a lady's car. He was outraged though, and told us that she should have gotten out of the way since he couldn't turn his head to check - therefore it was all her fault.

PB, your Dad's decision-making is awesome. Dignity and grace indeed. He's entitled to be a bit grumpy about it at times, as you have said. The memory problems are pretty horrible, though - they must be scary for both of you. (((hugs))).

I've just been to visit my Mum. She's only 67, but has huge inflammation and pain issues so is becoming more overweight and less mobile. She informed me that since she'll 'never' be able to afford moving to a retirement village, her plan is to buy a caravan and live at the beach. This from the woman who can't bear to think of a less than 3 bedroom house so she's got room for her craft stuff . I've talked to her about moving in with us, or about at least moving closer and where the real estate is cheaper, but she won't. Now she's planning to move to the other side of the island to a camping ground! I alternate between laughing and hugging her, and quietly gritting my teeth. I worry more about her than I do about my teenagers!

Yep, you become the parent to your parents.

Forget the phone. I'm often shocked at what my fingers have typed.

Well, today I went and bought the new Prius plug in car. It has both the hybrid engine and a purely electric plug in charged one. So, if you are just doing short trips like the market or MD's office you are not using gas at all but the hybrid (with 55mpg) kicks in after that charge runs out so you can use it for long haul road trips. I think eventually the world will be heading toward all electric vehicles. (I really really want a Tesla) But right now, it is just not ready yet. Charging stations are starting to pop up here and there but for a long road trip, you could really get stuck.

The Prius is great for Dad because it has a much more comfy seat and ride than my Rav 4 did and it is not such a high ground clearance so it is easier to get in and out for him. I traded in both the Rav and the Tacoma truck and got the Prius down to a reasonable amount.

Not only that. It's purty. Kind of a sea foam green shade. I think they call it "sea glass".

[Crabbcakes]

My FIL has been driving his for a couple of years now and loves it. I think you will like yours - at least I sincerely hope so. Glad you both are managing.

[Paleobird]

My FIL has been driving his for a couple of years now and loves it. I think you will like yours - at least I sincerely hope so. Glad you both are managing.

Thanks, Crabbcakes. It's going to take me a while just to figure out all the electronics involved.

I think of my relationship with my Dad as going through stages or phases. I'm glad I did the globe trotting that I did when I did it. Back then Dad could take care of two houses plus both of our cats and a dog. Now I need to stay home but that's OK with me. I know I will have plenty of time to see the rest of the world. Right now there is nothing more important in my world that making sure Dad's last time (however long that might be) is as easy and pleasant as possible.

[zoebird]

I think the ONE thing we miss that we left behind in the states was our Pruis. These days, I wish we'd just had it brought over. LOL Would have cost us a fortune, but still. Probably less than what it would cost us to buy a new prius (which comes in at $40k+ here).

Congrats on your new car. The prius is cool.

[Crabbcakes]

I think of my relationship with my Dad as going through stages or phases. I'm glad I did the globe trotting that I did when I did it. Back then Dad could take care of two houses plus both of our cats and a dog. Now I need to stay home but that's OK with me. I know I will have plenty of time to see the rest of the world. Right now there is nothing more important in my world that making sure Dad's last time (however long that might be) is as easy and pleasant as possible.

I like reading your journal about life with Dad. You know my experiences with mine have been, erm, "difficult", and I like seeing that it is real-life possible to have a wonderful reciprocal relationship (not just a "dutiful" one like many have), like you have with yours. I already know that Hubby and I are doing it a thousand times better with our Crabblets, but I really work all the time to have a right relationship with ours so that they will WANT to know us and be with us when we get up there in the decade count. Back when I was a practicing Mormon, here is what we were quoted often: "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." (David O. McKay - former President of the Church who died in 1970), and the longer I live, the more I believe it.

Whatever is in store for you and Dad, you will be at peace knowing you both did it well and truly right.

[sbhikes]

I built a website for some grad students who did research on what cars are both economically and environmentally friendly. The Tesla was the most environmentally friendly overall but never the most economical (<-- understatement of the year). Small ordinary gas cars often won both categories, cars like the Focus or Civic. So if anybody has a car like that, you can feel proud.

Years ago I was hiking with the Sierra Club and Ronald Reagan's nurse was on the hike. She told us about how he was doing. I can't imagine anything more awful than having been the President of the United States and having done so many interesting things in life all to end life not remembering any of it.