I'll dump my stuff here page 19

[Gadsie]

WOW I'M TRAPPED, lol. So I was creating an account on a website for some clinic in my town for eating disorders. I also filled in my address and phone number, thinking I would simply register for the website. So I click "submit" and the website gives me a message:

"We will contact you within 48 hours. We will ask you some personal questions like your availability, your doctor, and your health insurance. A telephone conversation is part of the log-in procedure. Based on this conversation a treatment from PsyQ (the clinic) will be chosen."

soo.. what am I supposed to now. You know what's funny, PsyQ is where my mom works.. I didn't even realize this. My mom doesn't work in the eating disorder section though

[zoebird]

You might just need treatment for anxiety -- as a starting point.

ALso, as I said in the other post stream, just tell your mom the info that you need and go from there. You basically just need your insurance info.

And, anxiety blows things out of proportion. My husband says that, yes, at this age food differences can be a big deal, but the bigger deal is how you perceive and react to others. As an anxious person himself, he knows that he is "highly reactive" and often blows things out of proportion. I wouldn't be surprised if you are the same. REading what you write reminds me of DH when he's in a "tizzy."

Uhm, what else -- ah, good jobo n the weight gains. At your height, I would suggest a goal of 165. I think this is do-able, since you have gained about 13 lbs in no time at all. See, eating is helpful.

[Gadsie]

You might just need treatment for anxiety -- as a starting point.

ALso, as I said in the other post stream, just tell your mom the info that you need and go from there. You basically just need your insurance info.

And, anxiety blows things out of proportion. My husband says that, yes, at this age food differences can be a big deal, but the bigger deal is how you perceive and react to others. As an anxious person himself, he knows that he is "highly reactive" and often blows things out of proportion. I wouldn't be surprised if you are the same. REading what you write reminds me of DH when he's in a "tizzy."

Uhm, what else -- ah, good jobo n the weight gains. At your height, I would suggest a goal of 165. I think this is do-able, since you have gained about 13 lbs in no time at all. See, eating is helpful.

I remember being 138-140 lbs before all of this started, I was probably 4-5 cm shorter and I want to gain muscle so 165 sounds good.
Btw, yesterday when I was hanging out with one of my friends it went pretty well. The first thing e wanted to do was get food (as I expected) so I said yeah sure. When we at the mall he asked me what I wanted and I just said "whatever you want" and we bought chocolate chip cookies. When he asked whether I wanted some I said I'd have some later and then he forgot about it. It was all pretty relaxed so that's how I'm gonna do it from now on

[Gadsie]

And I built up the courage to just cycle to the clinic myself, that's pretty hard, turned out they were closed *facepalm*
I'll just wait for the call

[Gadsie]

I know that tomorrow will be anothe struggle, but right now I ate, feel good and feel happy

[Gadsie]

Today was really a good day.
I walked for an hour
Cycled or an hour
Did squats, bench presses and deadlifts.
Did 8x100m sprints.
Went swimming with a couple friends,
Had the best steak ever with sweet potato.
About to watch a movie.
All I'm missing is a big pint of haagen dasz macadamia nut brittle..
but that would kind of ruin all the good things of today wouldn't it?

[Gadsie]

So this is how I'm currently looking..


http://s1063.photobucket.com/albums/...er_media_share

[zoebird]

i think if you ate the ice cream, you'd be fine.

I would also say that it's too much movement, so if you were doing things for fun, that's cool. but if you were doing things out of an obsessive fear of getting fat, then that's problematic. Only you can decide which was which.

Also glad you went out with friends. that's a good thing.

[Gadsie]

School is fcking killing me

[Gadsie]

Yeeaahh, was free early. How am supposed to sit still multiple hours 5 days a week?