Pregnant (suprise) at 39..."Advanced Maternal Age" and other CW bullsh*t! page

[Juliemama]

Any other Primal mamas-to-be (again!) my age?

I am 9 weeks with this one, and my girls are 8 and 9yrs.
You would think this baby is destined for doom with all the crap I have been hearing. Although this baby was a surprise, I am a perfectly healthy 39 y/o. My last 2 pregnancies were easy and healthy. I did gain 50lbs with each of them, but lost it all quick enough. I have been instructed by my very CW (safe) Dr.'s office...

Not to gain more than 25-30 lbs...ha ha gimme a break. I don't get morning sickness, and I get HUNGRY!
No big fish (I am allergic, so no worries there) shellfish is fine
Deli meat must be heated for 20 seconds in microwave, or served in a panini. Please, I have worked in the food industry for 25 yrs, and a panini will not heat the inside very much, it will be MORE unsafe lukewarm, and I refuse to microwave my food to supposedly make it healthier.
The list of cheeses NOT to eat is unbelievably long, this I ignore as a rule. I am always asked by patrons "is the cheese pasteurized?" This is fear instilled by the Dr., Yes the cheese is pasteurized, we are in the US, and in Massachusetts. There are laws regarding this, even the imported stuff is pasteurized. I always go find the packaging for them, though...rest easy.

COOK MEAT AND EGGS WELL DONE! Sorry, can't do it. And a runny yolk dripping over a rare steak?! Bliss.
One serving of caffeine daily, check.
No alcohol. Period. OK, I have been avoiding this trimester while all the parts are being formed, but I really miss my glass of red every night. The decaf chai, although delicious, is not quite the same!
No sunbathing! I live in New England, when the sun finally comes out, I will be basking (not baking) in it!

BUT- you are allowed to take Tylenol, Sudafed, cough, cold and allergy meds and other things I never take anyway.
They also want me to do all the testing/screening for birth defects/genetic probs/Down's...I politely declined. And will again the next time they ask at my 12 wk visit.

Anyone else think this stuff is ridiculous?
I love my Dr and the office in general, she knows me well enough to know I will use my own common sense.
My first pregnancy ended in my first trimester and was removed via D&C. It wasn't because I indulged in a bite of goat cheese.
Why can CW push us Preggos around so much? Because we want to do everything perfectly for our growing babies! THEY HAVE GOT US BY THE OVARIES!!
RANT OVER!!

[McChunky]

Congratulations! I know several moms who didn't even have their first until 40. I think if you're in good health there's no reason for concern.

As far as the restrictions, it does crack me up when pregnant women are militant about avoiding lunchmeat, soft cheeses, etc. but have no qualms eating Kraft Mac n' Cheese everyday for lunch and Poptarts for breakfast ;-)

[namelesswonder]

I'm curious why you are choosing not to screen for defects etc.? It is better to know and be prepared, IMO. I don't want to start a debate here, I'm just curious for your reasons. My little brother has Down Syndrome and my mom did not know (she was 43 when she had him and eating a fairly healthy SAD at the time), it was a very difficult adjustment for her (I was 10 and didn't care heh).

[Kakes]

Pregnancy and birth are SO over controlled because there is such a fear surrounding them in our culture. And because they are a HUGE business! It is insane! I'm a young mama (4 kids by age 27), and done having babies, but I always thought the list of "dangers" was a load of fear mongering. Just be smart and you'll be fine!

You want an entertaining and educational read that will have you wanting to run through the streets yelling, "Save the pregnant women!!"? Check out Pushed by Jennifer Block.

I did my 4th pregnancy with a certified home birth midwife that knew more than any doctor I'd ever met, let me choose the tests I wanted (and gave me information enough to choose), and educated and supported me amazingly. It was SO much better (and empowering) to not have the stigma of fear and mystery and "just trust me, you don't know the details and don't need to know."

My sister-in-law came home after an "emergency" c-section (doctor caused- induced early along with epidural and made to lie at a negative angle on her back while pushing for hours before her son was in so much stress that they sped her into surgery), in so much pain, with over $8000 dollars in medical bills. It broke my heart and pissed me off at the same time.
I paid $2100 for my entire pregnancy, birth and post natal/well child care and had a blissful self-led 3 hour labor and water birth.

I wish I'd done the research with my first 3 kids. The system is so screwed up.

[fuzzylogic]

Well, ignore what you will. At 39, you are statistically more likely to have a child with a birth defect. You are also more likely to have a child with autism....listeria is an actual threat and rare meat---well....I'd eat it, but you have to know where it came from and who processed it. Random meat from wherever? Probably not so much. The deer that I shot and processed? Yup.

You are also more likely to have a child with damage if you go post-dates, as the body's abiltiy to make a functioning placenta declines with age. Pre-eclampsia is up there too.

[fuzzylogic]

I'm glad you had a good homebirth. Me, I'd never ever. Too much time in L&D and I've seen how fast it goes bad when it goes bad.

[activia]

I recommend checking out Chris Kresser's Healthy baby code and CONGRATS I'm turning green

[Juliemama]

Nameless- I choose not to do the screenings for a couple of reasons...I am not going to end the pregnancy because something MIGHT be wrong, I am not going to go through the next 7 months of my pregnancy worrying and upset because they told me something MIGHT be wrong. If I birth a baby with a disability we will make arrangements for learning and care, and the baby will be loved like the rest of the family. Pregnancy is stressful enough without worrying about such serious stuff that may never be. I have a friend who (much younger) was told that her baby might have Down's..her daughter was fine...But this young Mom had several abortions and lived a party lifestyle, and thought she was being "punished" by choosing to have this baby, and being told it probably had Down's. Scary. No debate here! I can appreciate how the extra time to plan might be beneficial, though...

[Juliemama]

Fuzzy, last I checked I don't think Autism was part of the screening...and as far as I know I have never had a serious bout of food poisoning at any time in my life..and although delicious, your freshly shot deer could very well have parasites or whatnot..right? But handling and care and recognizing a potentially sick animal, would prevent that?

[cori93437]

Plan for the worst expect the best.
Sure you can plan a home birth... but have a good plan to get to the hospital if necessary and don't try to hold out against that if the need arises.
My one shot at pregnancy would have ended in my son's death if I hadn't gone in and had the cesarean. I get tired of the home birth shaming stuff. Things can and do go wrong sometimes during the birth process.
I was young, I was healthy, I had a nurse/midwife and all the classes... and it went wrong.

Also... I was bitching about my stupid hormones and my period in GOTD earlier. Felling a lot less bitchy all of a sudden. It could be worse! LOL