Major binge. STarted out well yesterday, then for some reason when I got to work it seemed a good idea to eat pre meal - ham and cheese sandwiches. Usually I just take out the innards but for some reason, it seemd a good idea to eat it. Then I had some of the rice with the risotto special. Then after work the guys downstairs made me chicken and rice, a huge ass fruit salad, and sent me home with brownie bread pudding. I ate it all. Then I ahd beer. Then I came home and had ice cream, yogurt and strawberries, and two pieces of bread with butter. It was a CHALLENGE to get down that much food. I was in bed practically passed out and almost forced myself to get up for that bread. It was awful. I dont' know what I did it. It's almost like my stress lately has just caused me to view myself as a failure in every way and so why not be a fatty failure as well. It's so unhealthy and I know that, but what to do! Forced failure. Makes me realize the only person standing in the way of my success is me. Everyone else is very supportive and flexible. Gah. Abigaillyn, get your shit together.
Trying to figure out how to fix it, and I think a huge part is exhaustion levels. I cave a lot more when I have little sleep and too much work. This weekend was a prime example of that. AT the same time, that's when I need to stick to primal eating the most because I really do feel worlds different in energy, and I realized that yesterday. I didn't fully realize the impact on energy it had had until I fell off the wagon. Last night was a CHALLENGE to get through.
I realized that, of any point in my life, I felt best when I was on the Lepting reset. So, small goals, for today that will be my plan. Room for a few drinks tonight, but until then Leptin Reset formula. Blerg