Thanks for the birthday wishes Jenn! Wow - building your own house! Impressive! I totally agree that life would be easier simpler, but then that takes all the fun out of it sometimes, with rising to challenges and improving on yourself. That, I'm told, is the essence of life anyways...
Okay, so my last ditch efforts and desperations at new friendships may have led to me scheduling two quasi dates in the same night. Um...this should be fun to navigate!
Today was interesting. I woke up NOT HUNGRY! Bizarre after I didn't eat dinner last night. I ate anyways, and then my lunch was super light. I decided to bring it to work with me so that I wouldnt' have the opportunity to munch on chocolate afterwards, but I only brought a salad with steak and feta cheese and no dressing...and not enough fat to keep Abigaillyn satiated! Bad move. So by 4 I was shaking I was so hungry and grazed on really unsatisfying snow peas for the next 2 hours. Got home to pork roast and no matter how much I ate I could not satiate myself. Covered EVERYTHING in butter, ate potatoes and carrots, and after 3 pieces of dark chocolate and a tablespoon of almond butter I was almost calm. Still feel like I could snack but don't want to because it's time for bed.
Didn't get to yoga today. Yesterday was so fabulous and i really wish they had yin yoga classes offered every evening. It's exactly what I needed. I went in all anxious and shaky and upset because of my talk with my brother (nothing he said really, more just all my shit spilling out...metaphorically of course) and by the end was falling asleep in half pigeon. I wish someone could've just magically transported me to my bed, because by the time I got to it it took me a while to fall asleep again. Today was exhausting at the farm (it was CSA pick up day) and more emotionally exhausting because I always feel like my boss is disappointed with me...more specifically that his wife is disappointed with me. I'm trying to meditate more to get over this complex, because at the end of the day I can only do the best that I can do and need to be satisfied with that.
Perky this morning, could have been caffeine induced, and then faded by the afternoon and very tired. got a little mopey but better now. A little concerned about how tomorrow night his going to go (with two quasi dates) but am trying to open myself up to new friendships and experiences. Huzzah.
Going to bed now so I can get 7sih or so hours and wake up early for yoga. Have yet to decide how I'm spending my birthday Friday, but I think I need to take some time to dedicate it to me. Do some yoga, maybe go for a long walk, maybe just taking half a day off work and lying out in the sun. We'll see.
Thinking about just having bp coffee tomorrow morning and then having my standard egg breakfast for lunch. I know it sounds stupid...but if I have dates I'd prefer not to be bloated and huge, and skipping a meal seems like the fastest way to ensure temporary body confidence.