Yup. It's not starting over, just continuing in a different direction, so we're not going to look at this as Day 1. This is day 490 since I discovered primal (more or less guessing a start date, it was somewhere during Feb last year) and there is no more such thing as starting over with life.
Anyways, this might be a little long because there are a few things that I've had on my mind that I want to get out there. The last few days have been horrible eating wise. Yesterday I had a graduation party for a girl I used to babysit (I feel old) and ate so many chocolate covered raisins and cookies and had mucho vino. But first:
B: 4.5 oz meatloaf (no gluten or dairy) with onions, swiss chard, and 3 eggs (Desperately seeking MAMAGROKS approval Yesterday I measured out what I thought was 3-4 oz and it turned ou to be only 1.5. Yikes! Hopefully today's breakfast keeps me going longer.
Will update meals tomorrow. I am a little worried because I'm spending the night at a friend's house in Maine and they're very fresh eaters but vegetarian, so I'm trying to think about how to avoid grains. My thoughts are prevention techniques, so I'm bringing 6 hard boiled eggs, my last small bit of steak, and some cole slaw in hopes of avoiding eating grains, but we'll see what happens. I am not going to kill myself and be rude and disrespectful, and if this has to be one of my cheat days so be it.
45 minutes of fairly light yoga in the morning. Just trying to get back into a routine. Am planning on going for a walk this evening with friends if it's nice enough out, or at least some trekking around her farm.
Feeling pretty blue. Yoga definitely helped, but yesterday was my last day at the restaurant which was surprisingly harder than I realized. Mostly because I did enjoy it and felt bad leaving my friends, largely due to the fact that I feel like I'm losing a community and have difficulties when anything like that ends (even though, let's be honest, is it a community I really want to keep? There are 6 people I really enjoy there (apart from the kitchen boys) and I'll keep in touch with them if they are keepers). Part of it was that no one was really that sad to see me leave (kick in the face) and then a huge part of it was feeling like a failure - like I quit because I wasn't good enough to do everything. On some level I know that's not true, life is about balance and all that jazz, but it still feels shitty Also last night I spent some time going through Guatemala pictures to put on facebook which made me super nostalgic and blue, and also cut into my sleep time. Damn it.
Have been breaking out a lot lately considering how beautiful my skin was when I was (truly) 90% primal. I know it's the wheat and sugar that's been doing it to me, so hopefully this will clear up soon. I don't have horrible skin, mostly just weird bumps on my forehead that pop up around TTOM and typical oily nose occasionally, but it really is quite nice most of the time. Need to work on wrinkle prevention!
Bleeeeeeerg. Much better after yoga and coffee, but I definitely need more sleep. There have been a few nights in a row that have been lacking good sleep. Will work on this and try to turn off computer earlier on in the night, as well as not go out as much (easier now that I just lost half of my friends).
Anyways, I think typically I want to recap at the end of the day but I knew since I'm traveling today and not at home I won't necessarily have access to unlimited internet usage this evening.
Some thoughts of my own that nobody really cares about:
Barefoot shoes have changed my life. I never thought I'd be one of those that wears them out in public, and I still can't really run far without my calves tightening up ridiculously, but it's amazing how much time in the past few months I've been able to be on my feet without issues. I love them love them love them, and lately have been staring at my feet a lot to see how they've been changing. My toes are spreading out nicely and no longer have that crunched up puzzle piece look. My baby toes are starting to be more aligned with the outside of my foot rather than pinched in and looking like I'm about to develop corns, and I find my posture to be much better and my calf muscles are getting huge (not necessarily a good thing). On Saturday night I went to a dominican party and as from my experience most latinos get real fancy to go out, I put on heels. I have not worn heels in months. Personally, I really hate them, and wouldn't have bought them EVER except my friend convinced me they were a staple and they were 30 at a resale shop vs. normal 120 or so. Oh my god did I pay for it. PAIN! Knees, calves, shins, feet...my poor feet! Why do we do this to ourselves ladies?!?! My posture sucked, my ass really didn't look that great, and oh my god MY FEET! I am so sorry feetsies, it won't happen again!
So then I was on the train and got creepy and started staring at everyone else's feet, and noticed a trend in women's feet. They're DISGUSTING LOOKING! They're all smooshed together and hunch back (you know, when it looks like the toes have been crammed into shoes too small for a really long time) and bruised and blistered. When did we start hating our feet so much and punishing them for keeping us upright?!?! This is not foot-binding China anymore, but it doesn't seem like we've progressed that much.