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Thread: Primal for Life - my journal page 21

  1. #201
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    Have you had any thoughts or feelings that this might be putting you back on that old rollercoaster again? At one point, I'd considered doing something similar after getting my thyroid straightened out, just to see if I could enjoy the health benefits without making myself crazy with the regular cycle of restricting and all of the psychology involved. Knowing me, I'd drive myself nuts and my perfectionist tendencies would rear their ugly head. I'd hate to get back to those all too familiar negative feelings about eating and food in general. Maybe it could be a different ballgame once everything else is optimal, though. We'll see.....or maybe we won't!

    I hope you're able to nip the stressing issue in the bud and keep yourself from falling into that trap again! "Happy" is so vital to this whole process. You've got plenty of time to reach your goal, too - you'll get there by whichever method you employ, I'm sure of it!
    Life is not a matter of having good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.

    - Robert Louis Stevenson

  2. #202
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    Not sure what you are refering to by the rollercoaster? I think I've missed something?..Or forgotten something that I have mentioned before haha.

    Anyway, I guess I am just worried in general, because I still can't quite believe that after two years struggling the weight is now just coming off - and I am not doing anything drastic, like cutting out particular food groups, counting carbs, running every day, drinking shakes or what not. I still kind expect to wake up and have gained weight and gain and gain like I did before, with no control over it whatsoever. It'll probably just take my mind a a little while to catch up with my body. And because I am not yet at goal weight, it's like, so close but so far, which is as close as I have ever been.

    Aaaaanyway. I ended up just eating more yesterday as I had felt dizzy, and had to see the personal trainer. As I said, this week will just be an experiment on pushing the limits on my non-fast days, and next week I can have a really good week to make up for it if I do go backwards.

  3. #203
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    Ha! I guess I should've mentioned what I meant by the rollercoaster. You and I had discussed how tired we'd become of the rollercoaster we'd been on for so long - one of restricting, tweaking, BEING HUNGRY, weighing..... rinse and repeat. I'm just hoping you're still able to remain in that "happy place" you'd reached after having cupboarded your scale and weighing far less often (while working on your PhD).

    I totally hear you on the fear of waking up and things having changed, but the weight you've lost since finally getting your thyroid and cortisol addressed correctly isn't too good to be true! It's true weight loss, and not those damned couple of pounds of water weight that came and went and left us so frustrated with scale anxiety. If something changes and your need for T3 increases or decreases, you've already become the master tweaker and will be able to get to where you need to be again. NOTHING but those missing links would have enabled us to lose the weight, and working so hard while not taking them just made our problems worse. No more feeling like dogs chasing our tails, thankfully!

    You're gonna look (and feel!) like a million bucks in Hawaii. I know it's months away, but I can't wait to hear about it!
    Life is not a matter of having good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.

    - Robert Louis Stevenson

  4. #204
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    Hm, I do wonder whether that isn't just a fantasy - me one day being able to eat and not count, and just naturally be able to stop when full. I think I might just be a natural glutton, and will always need to obsess and count if I am to maintain my weight. I lvie to eat, not eat to live, and I don't think that will ever change!

  5. #205
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    Quote Originally Posted by lucy1984 View Post
    Hm, I do wonder whether that isn't just a fantasy - me one day being able to eat and not count, and just naturally be able to stop when full. I think I might just be a natural glutton, and will always need to obsess and count if I am to maintain my weight. I lvie to eat, not eat to live, and I don't think that will ever change!
    You have no idea how much I can relate. That would be the ultimate victory, and I'm going to work on that goal more than any other! The mental part is such hard work, I swear...

    How are you doing? What's the weather like where you are these days, is it still blazing hot most of the time?
    Life is not a matter of having good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.

    - Robert Louis Stevenson

  6. #206
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    That's the dream!

    I had a workshop Thurs-Friday, and you would not believe the food they had on offer. Apart from permanent access to a coffee machine, it was:
    Morning tea Day 1 - two types of pastries, two flavour friands, chocoloate slice, three types of juice
    Lunch Day 1- chicken salad, rice, curry, beef stew, three types of bread roll, selection of cakes (carrot cake, cheese cake, etc), juice
    Afternoon Day 1- croissants and more pastries, more juice

    Morning tea day 1 - more pastries, friands, slice, juice, juice, juice
    Lunch Day 2 - three types of bread roll, taco shells, every types of condiment and filling imaginable, chicken mix, bean mix, mince mix, veggie patties, sausages, and ice creams (cornettos and magnums), more juice Afternoon tea day 2 - lamingtons, profiteroles, lemon tarts, more juice

    And bowls of mentos on the tables at roughly every third person.

    I could not get over the amount of food they provided! And sugar! I just had a good breaky both days, avoided the morning and afternoon tea, and had the salad options at lunch.

    I put the scales away in the cupboard until next Saturday, as I was getting frustrated at the lack of movement.

    One thing I did learn from the workshop is that if I have a good breakfast, I really am not that hungry at lunch - I never thought this was possibl, always thought my hugner was overwhelming no matter what, but perhaps I just haven't been having enough breakfast.

  7. #207
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    ARGH!!! Just undid ALL myd good work resisting bad food at the workshop!

    I don't know what came over me, I thought, 'I'll just have some honey on cruskits for a trea' - the next thing I know I am into all the SAD foods that are in the house for my husband. Toast, weetbix, home made muffins, SO much food! I just went bananas! I thought I had this binge thing beat. Honey is DEFINITELY a trigger - 9 times out of ten if I eat it, it leads to a binge.

    Even then, feeeling sick, I headed upstairs to get changed to go to the shops and buy chocolate - luckily I talked myself down from THAT! But honestly, honey - I can't touch the stuff, total trigger food. Probably the sweetness, and the fact that I only seem to eat it when on a binge, and it's the only sweet thing in the house TO binge on...

    Anyway, I think I am just going to have to resolve myself to the fact that I just have to AVOID it. I can't not buy it, like I do with chocolate, as it's my husbands favourite for breakfast, and we already don't have (insert hugely long list of things I will binge on here) in the house. So I just need to be strong against this one item. NO HONEY. If I don't start then I don't have to worry about stopping.

    The good news is, I tracked it all (how depressing), and although over my weekly calorie goal for weight loss for the week, I was under my weekly calorie goal for maintenance. And also I went over by less than I was under the two previous weeks. So fingers crossed not too much damage.

    I went for a ride in the arvo at least, but then binged and felt too sick to clean haha. And I figured anything I earned would be a drop in the ocean, so saving the clean for Wednesday and that way the exercise points will go to next weeks total.

    Fasting again tomorrow (really need to be careful not to mispell fasting with a 'r' in the middle), doing a Monday fast because I want to change my fast days to days where I am busier - so heading to the actual uni (they may still recognise me) to put in a full day.

  8. #208
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    Even though you're a little bummed about this latest development, it sure doesn't sound like there will be much consequence, overall. Other than some temporary water retention, I'll bet you won't see any true change, so I think you're safe on this one. Glad you posted the "good news" and still seem to be in a good place mentally. Chalk it up to a big fat "WHOOPS!" and move on

    As far as the honey goes, I can't go anywhere near it! I did the whole "live and learn" thing, and hope not to have to RE-learn that one, like with many other lessons "sorta" learned. Maple syrup-y flavor does it to me, too. I really think those two are a comfort food type of trigger, because they take me back to being a kid. Biscuits with real butter and honey.....YUM! Waffles with peanut butter and syrup....holy cow, I loved those breakfasts!

    Good luck with your Monday faSt tomorrow. Congrats on surviving and staying strong while at the workshop, by the way - that couldn't have been too easy!
    Life is not a matter of having good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.

    - Robert Louis Stevenson

  9. #209
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    Ha, yeah I don't think it's too much damage done overall. Although mentally I am not happy that I did it. I thought I might head back for some more hypnotherapy to reenforce the positive thinking - I thought maybe a monthly session? It does seem to help.

    Ha, I still keep in touch with weight watchers online friends, and apparently honey is quite the devil food for many of us! I fantasize about honey and butter slathered on some crunchy toast...or even those waffles haha! One indulgence I did have in Hawaii, just once, was waffles with maple syrup butter and coconut syrup....to die for! Total sugar rush though. And so not primal.

    So yeah, I have learnt the lesson before, kind of, but always thought that maybe I could control it. But I am just going to have to accept that I can't eat it. Maybe once I get to goal and have maintained for a while I can try it again.

    But yeah, no point feeling guilty for days, it's done and behind me, today is the start of a new week.

    At least fasting shouldn't be too bad, given all the fuel I took in yesterday! Packed lots of herbal teas etc to get me through.

  10. #210
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    Not much to report! I went for a ride today, and just as I was turning around - i.e. half way, MAXIMUM distance from home - it started to pour. I got absolutely soaked, right through to my socks and undies. Here I was thinking I'd do it early because it might rain this arvo and I wouldn't be able to, and it now looks like clearing up for the arvo!

    Feeling back in control post binge, and have a hypno appointment for this arvo, and shall make a few monthly ones to get back on top of positive thoughts.

    I really like the day after my fast day. Food tastes better and is more enjoyable. I was thinking next week I might do a 4:3 fast combo (as opposed to 5:2), just becase I have to go to uni an extra day and it will be easier, and the 4:3 more closely approximates all of the actual clinical trials which tended to be alternate day fasting. Worst happens is I hate the third fast day and eat something!

    Oh as for the weather, no, not so hot anymore - Autumn is well and truly here! Mid-20's most days.

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