Kalli's Leptin Reset Experiment page

[kalli889]

Hi all!

First off, MANY thanks to Mark for MDA, and MANY thanks to all the Leptin Resetters who have already shared their stories.

I found out about Primal/Paleo eating at my new day job. (I'm an artist/writer trying to make a living while I figure out how to make a living as an artist/writer.) It's a small office of about 30 people, and the big boss and a few people went Paleo a few months ago. AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY NICE AND CHILL AND TRIM. That's the thing. They're in a good mood. I have a history of serious depression and insomnia. If food could positively affect my mood? OMG. And it has.

I stopped eating grains and sugar on April 9th, had a little creamer one day since (and IMMEDIATELY felt terrible for the rest of the day). Tonight (this morning?) I'm awake because I had a bad day at work and my roommate decided to take me out for some fun...which turned into margaritas and nachos. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, I woke up at 3:30am and my heart was POUNDING and I was hot and sweaty and basically I wanted to hurl. I wish I could hurl. I would probably feel better. I mean, on one hand, it sucks to feel this horrible. On the other hand, it's like OHHHHHHH, if I had a nickel for every time I woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn't sleep...AND NOW I KNOW WHY. I've been slowly poisoning myself, all day every day, for my entire life.

This is amazing to me. This is my body violently reacting to corn and beans and cheese and margaritas. Think of all the time I've spent awake in the middle of the night...because my body doesn't like non-Primal foods! Who knew!

So, here's a little run down on me. I'm 75% Native American, and half of that is Mystic-Warriors-of-The-Plains Native American, who were hunting and gathering as little as 200-250 years ago. So all of this PB/Paleo "we've only had agriculture for a few thousand years" stuff really hit home, especially when my ggg-grandparents were hunting buffalo, deer and wild turkey and not eating corn or wheat or dairy or sugar until VERY, VERY RECENTLY. And while diabetes and obesity are becoming a US epidemic, those things have been rife in Native American populations ever since non-Primal foods were introduced.

So, diabetes. My father passed away of diabetic kidney disease three years ago. My stepdad is diabetic and has an insulin pump in his side and he eats Chef Boyardee and hot dogs. My mom eats much healthier than he does, but she was recently diagnosed with diabetes as well. She saw FORKS OVER KNIVES and she was inspired to get off of her medications. I've been medicated on and off for the past 15 years for serious depression. I was 155 and a size 10 at the age of 15. When puberty hit, I went from being a skinny little kid to a girl with skinny little legs and arms...and a muffin top. With medication, I dropped to 140 and a size 7/8 before college, put weight on in college, and dropped down to 130 and a size 2/4 with medication and cutting out wheat, sugar, dairy and alcohol. Then I moved to New York and started going out to all of these fabulous restaurants and grabbing pizza with friends, and quickly became fat and miserable.

I've spent much of the last three years not wanting to get out of bed or to see or speak to anyone, which you would never know if you met me, because I come off as really friendly and happy. What you wouldn't see are the days where I would just lie in bed and not talk to people because I felt so tired, sad and hopeless, and talking to people just seemed like such a monumental effort and very draining. It is really hard to survive in this world feeling severe fatigue, unhappiness, and thoughts of impending doom. And if you've only had a few hours of sleep on top of all of that? God. I've also put on 40 pounds in the last two years, and it just felt like nothing I could do could stop it. 15 pounds seemed to appear overnight. I went vegan for a month and put on 10 pounds. I went up 2 dress sizes over the holidays. It just felt like the fat monster was attacking me and taking over my previously slim, attractive body.

I've been this weight before (173 now, I was 177.2 at the beginning of April) but it was about 8 years ago. I probably have more muscle now, because then I was a size 16 and now I'm a size 12. I'm tall (5'9") and I have teeny, tiny bird bones so I never seem to weigh as much as I do. Chronic cardio didn't help (I ran a marathon and lost only 4 pounds during training.) Reducing calories via CW makes me feel really, really bone tired, sad, completely obsessed with food and prone to binging so I wasn't interested in doing that. It seemed like the only way I could lose weight was with my antidepressants, which also have the unfortunate side effect of KEEPING ME UP ALL NIGHT. (Speedy, much?)

About two months ago, my mom started seeing a Metabolic doctor who would work with her to use supplements and nutrition to get her off her meds and help her lose weight. I started using a lot of the supplements from the book THE METABOLIC PLAN and immediately felt a huge boost in energy, mood, and cognition. I went to this Dr. Oz thing at Radio City where he talked about the benefits of eating salmon and supplementing with Vitamin D and fish oil, and I started doing that and eating a lot more salmon and started feeling better. My best friend started a Master's program in neuropsychology, and she started sharing with me all of this research about how food and different nutrients affect mood and cognition, then my roommate started talking about it, then my sister-in-law...then the guys at work would comment on the Paleo-eaters' diets. They tell our big boss that he's going to turn into a salmon because he eats so much of it. But all the Paleo-eaters are so trim and so nice, and they would talk about how they never felt like they were missing out or that they really had to work at losing weight because the food was so good and any weight just fell off. So I bought THE PRIMAL BLUEPRINT and Robb Wolf's book, and started eating primally. Last night was the first night I've had grains, beans, dairy or alcohol (so easy to have all at once! nachos and margaritas!) and it is so, so clear to me that my body does NOT want these things. NOT NOT NOT.

But before last night, since I went Primal, I have felt magnificent. Calm, steady, grounded, happy, energetic. I've watched the scale drop and I've done hardly any exercise beyond walking to and from the subway. I'm still figuring out the money part -- how to pay for proper food and what to buy (I had chicken salad yesterday with non-Primal/Paleo mayo and ugh, I wanted to die). I'm interested in getting to know my local purveyors of grass-fed meats at nearby farmers markets. I've read a lot of Leptin Reset threads, and I plan on starting my LR experiment on May 1st. I've already experimented with BAB and they are awesome. Okay, some are not awesome, and I feel like I'm forcing myself to eat, but I am awed at how much meat and pure fat I can eat and how good it can make me feel and how it can make me lose weight so easily! I've had a few days (2) of perfect sleep so far, and I can't wait to see what life would be like, and what I would be capable of if ALL MY SLEEP WAS AMAZING. I just need to plan my meals and do all of my grocery shopping and get everything set so I'm not caught unprepared somewhere with no Primal thing to eat.

So Leptin Reset starts Tuesday, May 1.

Current stats:

Top weight ever in my life: 179
Recent pre-Paleo/Primal weight: 177.2

Current weight: 173.6
Current pant/dress size: 12
Waist: 31"
Waist at BB: 38"
Hips: 42"
Thigh: 22.5"
Calf: 13.5"
Upper Arm: 12.5"
Chest: 33"
Bust 37"

Goal weight: 130
Goal size: 2 (I'm more concerned with size than with weight. If I have lots of nice muscle on me, then if my weight is higher, but I'm trim, who cares.)
Goal Waist: 25"
Goal Bust: 34"
Goal Hips: 35"

I have plenty of time, and I would like to do this in a healthy Primal matter. My experiments with LR BABs have already shown me how those can positively affect me, and I'm interested in doing the whole 8 week process (I know 6-8, I'm going for 8). I'm thinking a mostly steak and egg breakfast, trying to keep egg intake down to two. I can eat 4 eggs by themselves, but with meat? It's rough. Bacon is also key. My days are always better when they involve bacon.

One thing that I've found is REALLY important for my weight loss is to have support about it. When I went on anti-depressants and went off wheat, dairy, sugar and alcohol, and got down to 135, I had some people tell me that I looked great (like a superhero, even, because I was so muscular from climbing), and some (generally heavy) people who told me that I looked like a skeletal wraith and would blow away in a heavy wind and by the way would I like some bread/ brownies/ pasta/ pizza/ alcohol/ ice cream and if not they would tell me that I was no fun anymore. I had A LOT of people tell me that I was no fun anymore. It kind of feels like I've had to give up my eating buddies (like how alcoholics have to give up their drinking buddies). I'm REALLY sick of people who constantly comment on my food (-You eat a lot of eggs! -How come you don't eat wheat? -Well, I can have dairy, that is SO WEIRD that you can't! -I can't believe you eat animals! You're a murderer! -How come you never get beer and pizza with me anymore?) so I'm REALLY happy that there is this community here on MDA.

I'm not really interested in telling anyone in my life about my Leptin Reset until I'm done. I'm looking forward to feeling good and calm, having good sleep, no longer having aches and pains, and losing weight.

Anyway, very excited to see how this all turns out!

THANKS FOR READING!

[JoAnn68]

Be glad you figured all this out so soon. I learned of this Feb. 4 2012 5'9" like you and weighed 181. I'm now down to 165. But I'm 43 years old. I wish I'ld learned this in my twenties. It would have saved me a lot of grief. Good luck with your reset. And don't let the doubters get you down.

JoAnn

[kalli889]

Thank you so much! Words of encouragement and support are so helpful!

[kalli889]

So I watched these two documentaries last weekend: INGREDIENTS (about how you raise food can impact its taste and nutrition) and NO IMPACT MAN (about a guy and his family trying to create zero carbon emissions, living in NYC). These both really got me into the idea of developing relationships with the farmers at my local farmers markets. Yesterday I went to the Union Square Greenmarket and I had a great time! I went to Elk Trail Ranch and got some grass-fed bison steaks, and the guy who owns it told me how to cook my sirloin. So helpful. I went to (Hathaway?) Farms and bought more sirloin and some pork chops (I'm shopping around for a taste I like) AND got some sauerkraut. Nom nom nom. I got some pastured eggs and fresh flowers (lilies of the valley oh my god teeny tiny flowers have my room smelling like angels). Then I went to Trader Joe's and stocked up on Kerrygold and chicken sausages and bacon.

Today my BAB was the MOST DELICIOUS THING EVER. I'm in love with my breakfast, and I want to marry it.

I had 2 strips of bacon (3g protein each), 2 basil pesto chicken sausages (21g protein each), and 2 eggs (6g protein each), and mango tea with a tablespoon of coconut oil in it. (60g protein total.) Holy Lord. This is the sexiest breakfast ever. I was in HEAVEN. I can do this. I can do this every day.

I don't think I'll weigh and measure again for another week, because I don't want to be obsessive about things. What I've learned in my experimenting with Paleo/PB in the past month is that how I feel is a pretty good indicator of how I'm doing, food-wise. I had a day where I ate a jar of almond butter and one day where I ate a ton of coconut oil. What it felt like what my body was taking what it needed -- very different from a carb binge.

I'm loving this. I have a sirloin defrosting for tomorrow or Tuesday! I'M FALLING IN LOVE WITH FOOD AGAIN!

[kalli889]

I'm glad I'm not weighing or measuring for a week because I'm PMSing and I've bloated up all over the place. Temporary. My new tool. "Temporary." This weight and body is temporary.

I went shopping yesterday and bought a bunch of beautiful clothes that fit my current body, so that I feel good in it, even if it's not where I want to be. I feel sharp, and comfortable.

I had the same breakfast as yesterday (2 chicken basil pesto sausages, 2 eggs, 2 pcs bacon). I woke up late, so I felt rushed. It will be nicer when I start waking earlier and can really take the time to enjoy my meal. I also had a tbsp of coconut oil in mango black tea, with turmeric and pepper. DELICIOUS!

I defrosted a sirloin steak yesterday but I was too intimidated to cook it. Then I remember that I've totally pan-fried a T-Bone before, and I have to stop being a chicken. Not everything needs a grill.

I bought really good cod liver oil and some liquid Vitamin D3 yesterday, and remembered to take all my supplements this morning.

Then I didn't even think about food until just now, and it's noon! I'm going to make and take lunches until I stop getting hungry for them, just so I'm prepared. I don't want to be stuck anywhere starving.

I got an acupuncture appt for myself for tomorrow with my friend Y, who is a gifted healer. I've decided to get acupuncture done once a month. A much better way to deal with stress than eating about it or drinking about it. I LOVE the way I feel post-acupuncture. So grounded, and in love with the world.

So, anyway, for lunch I had some leftover flank steak and an asparagus and hearts of palm salad. For dinner I've made some tuna salad with lemonnaise from The Ojai Cook (have to learn how to make Paleo lemonnaise) with a spinach salad.

Good eating!

[kalli889]

I just read this cool article that a friend posted on FB: Bad Breath for Good Health | The Science Friday Blog

I wonder if we get bad breath in ketosis because our stem cells are turning into liver cells, and they're saying, "Help is on the way! It is cleaning house time!"

My liver has done so much for me. I'm going to be really nice to it from now on.

[touchdowntodd]

its a day by day struggle .. we all can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all it takes is focus!

[kalli889]

We WILL get through it! Today's bonus: Waking up at 5:35am WITH NO ALARM! WUT. That's crazy! Crazy AWESOME. I had a leisurely breakfast of sirloin pan-fried in Kerrygold butter with two eggs. Probably 8-10oz of meat. Nom nom nom. And local, non-pasteurized sauerkraut. I'm addicted to sauerkraut. It makes me so happy. I forgot to take my fish oil, so I'll have to take it this evening.

Bloating from Aunt Flo has made me soft(er) and squishy(er), but again it's temporary. My pants are fitting funny though, and not in a good way. SOON THIS WILL ALL BE A THING OF THE PAST! I have cramps this morning and I forgot to take my CALM magnesium supplement last night, so I'll have to remember tonight.

Lunch is tuna salad with lemonnaise, and dinner is...that or sausages and sauerkraut. Or sausages and brussels sprouts with bacon.

I'm getting acupuncture tonight and I'm SUPER EXCITED!

I bought PRIMAL BODY, PRIMAL MIND and I was reading it on the train. Man, gluten is everywhere! I teared up a little when reading about how gluten affects cognition and mental health. It made me really sad that when my family thought they were nourishing me, they were actually driving me crazy. And then when I grew up, I thought I was nourishing myself, but I was actually killing myself. Ugh, terrible. And gluten is in EVERYTHING! Shampoo! Cosmetics! I saw hydrogenated vegetable oils IN MY LIP GLOSS. Terrible. I have to fine-tooth comb all my products now. And she says an elimination diet has to be at least 9 mos to really show the full benefits. And no gluten means NO gluten, not even using utensils or pans that have gluten. Looks like I'll have to use my special pretty bone china plate and get new silverware, because my roommate is a bagel, cookie, toast, couscous eating fiend. A precious, precious carb-eating fiend, whom I love dearly.

No gluten cheats, not even little mini-cupcakes from Baked by Melissa. Shoot.

Oh well. At least I'm doing what I can to now to heal my body. And I do feel better than I ever have. So that's good. I was losing weight before straight PB, but sleep has ALWAYS been terrible. I can't wait to get delicious amazing sleep all the time.

ALSO: I am boiling alive. I'm kicking the covers off in my sleep, and drinking cold water instead of room temp. (I've NEVER liked cold water before bc I always ran cold!) INTERESTING.

[kalli889]

Bleah, I don't trust other people to make my food. My boss bought me lunch today, and I got roast chicken and okra...and now I have MASSIVE carb cravings. Who knows what the hell they basted it with. All I want is sugar. No sugar. This too will pass.

EDIT: I think it's my fault. I forgot my coconut oil, so I put heavy cream in my coffee. I don't think my body likes dairy. No cheating, ME! Gosh!

EDIT 2: Also, I didn't get to sleep until like 11-11:30 last night. Don't know why, couldn't sleep. Stopped having coffee by noon yesterday, might have to have an earlier cutoff. Still woke up bright and early after 6-6.5 hrs of sleep. Damn. 6-6.5 hrs. Yup. No wonder I want sugar.

[kalli889]

I ate a GIANT STEAK this morning. I am on the steak diet. "A steak for breakfast, a steak for lunch, and a sensible (steak) dinner!" It was delicious. And I had a lot of sauerkraut. Sauerkraut is my new favorite food. I got a big jar from Hathaway Farms. I think I might need a jar a week. I've read that we have more bacteria cells than human cells -- isn't that crazy? I'd rather have more of the good guys in mah belly, so I will happily eat them for breakfast every day, with some tasty, tasty cabbage.

I don't even know how big the steak was. Probably a half pound to a whole pound. I was going to cut it in half and save the rest for later...and that totally didn't happen. Grass fed Black Angus. So, so tasty. So, I got a ton of protein this morning. And coconut oil in my coffee. Let's see if I'm hungry for lunch! If I am, I have tuna salad (REALLY need to make paleo mayo -- I've been reading about how Omega-6s displace Omega-3s, and how ppl of Native American descent need even MORE Omega-3s. I think sardines are about to become my new bff. What do you do with sardines? How do you eat them? I used to eat kippered herring on crackers when I was a kid (crazy, right? who could get a kid to eat that?) but what do you do in the absence of crackers? SARDINE RECIPES/SUGGESTIONS, PLS!

I'm a lot less bloated this morning. I had my acupuncture yesterday, and it was really great. My friend Y is incredibly talented and her business is thriving. She asked me to make my next appointment later so we could go to dinner (she works ALL THE TIME) and I said sure but...in a month I'll still be on LR and I will be going to bed around the time that she gets done with work. So I won't be able to. Maybe after LR.

This is changing my whole life, and it's changing who my friends are. Like I said, I gave up a lot of eating/drinking buddies when I moved to NYC. I have one roommate who is on a candida diet, so we eat pretty similar, and that's great. I have another roommate who is carb city and chronic cardio to the max. But she's really awesome too. Our candida diet roommate recently had a bday, and chronic cardio said, "I would bake her brownies, but she doesn't eat them! What do you do for someone who doesn't eat cupcakes?" Uh, NOT have a meltdown? I got her a card, and signed it from both of us. Chronic Cardio always says to me, "That's a lot of bacon!" or "That looks like a hearty breakfast!" in the morning. I told her that I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok. And that she should thank me for eating this way, because it makes me a much nicer person.

When I moved to NYC, I was very scene-y because all my friends from college were. They were all in fashion or finance and we went out all the time, and I gained 40 pounds and a lot of debt. So now I'm keeping things totally simple, I go out to museums, gallery openings, and nerd events (really...there are Nerd Nites in NYC where someone talks about a totally cool nerdy topic), I go to bed early, and everyone thinks I am totally boring. And that is okay with me. They don't have to live in my body or feel the way I feel after I've eaten grains or dairy, feel tired in my bones like I've been hit with a Mack truck, and feel complete and utter hopelessness.

So I think I want new friends. I have a few friends who are completely supportive, like my friend C. We've been friends since Day 1 of college, and she's been with me through some really dark times, without ever trying to fix me or control me or shame me into thinking I ought to be doing better. My mom and my sister-in-law and C are all in this project of healing through food -- and we're not telling each other how to do it, we're just sharing what works for us.

Speaking of which, I think I'll get my mom PRIMAL BODY, PRIMAL MIND for Mother's Day.

Tuna salad for lunch, and snausages and onions fo' dinner!

OH. I'm starting CT. I put my face in cold water (no ice) the other day. It was okay, I'm not too in to it. I read a little with an ice pack on my neck last night, and that was better. Maybe a half hour. I REALLY liked that. Also, I've turned into a furnace. I am BOILING all the time. It's kind of nice when it's wet and dreary out like today. I've started to purposefully underdress a little now, to get used to being cold, but I'm already boiling! MORE COLD! MORE! That is totally crazy too, since I use to freeze all the time everywhere. I think I'll have to do monthly trips to the Russian and Turkish baths, or to Spa Castle to do some serious ice bathing. I read that Anne Frank took freezing showers every morning and I did that for a while in college and it was awesome. Katherine Hepburn also took freezing baths every morning. Her father told her it was good for the constitution. So yeah, ice baths. Not ready to fill my bath full of ice yet, but it's nice to hang out with an ice pack on my neck. :-)

I remembered my fish oil this morning! And I spoke with the people from TrueHope last night, who make this vitamin supplement called Empower Plus. My biomedical engineer/neuropsychologist friend said that their name kept coming up in study after study after study of nutrition's effects on mood and cognition. So I'll give it a try. It's really expensive, but I figure I just take my wining-and-dining out in NYC and new-outfits-for-wining-and-dining budgets and switch it all over to LET'S GET ME HEALTHY budget. They're really great and really responsive, and I think they just might be worth more to me than therapy. They should be in touch with me all the time, I'm giving them so much moolah. That actually makes sense. If I go to therapy and I pay out of pocket (which I would) it would be $250-$500 a month. If I buy my fancy vitamins, and talk on the phone once a week with them about how I'm doing, and track my mood/cognition in my member site, and I feel better without medication, I think i'm actually getting a lot more value. We'll see. I'm the guinea pig.

I need to get off coffee again. I was off it for 2 wks, then I stayed up one night with my roommate just chatting and painting nails, which turned into CASCADE OF SLEEP PROBLEMS AND COFFEE RE-ADDICTION. But I get my blackout curtains soon! yay!

Okay, done for now. xoxo