Day 4 musings.
Day 4 here. I woke up this morning and just didn't have an appetite. I had to work at 10am and THOUGHT I'd have a break around noon. I left the house on an empty stomach and empty handed, expecting hunger to hit me in a couple hours and that I'd come home then and cook something up, (I live very close to my work). I trusted in you guys that this "hunger" feeling would creep up slowly, unlike the sudden, ravenous, crashes I'm used to experiencing at work, that leave me gorging on baked goods before I even have time to think about it. And whatdyaknow... ya'll were right. Got to work at 10. Not hungry. 11, noon, ended up with a couple extra clients and couldnt leave just yet. 1pm... appetite growing, but slowly. 2pm, Hungry now, wanting to eat... but can I hold off another hour until I'm finished with my client? Should I use this as an excuse to have some sweets? There were cookies, cupcakes, and poundcake in the back room today. They did not hold half the power they did on Day 2. On Day 2 they were simply taunting me. I think I'll have a cup of tea instead. Wrapped up with my client, 3pm... okay, now take your lunch. I thought I would be racing home and grabbing the first primal food I saw, but no. I even got caught up in a text conversation. Okay... food. What do I want? Time to cook meat? I don't really want meat. Eggs. Okay. Omlete. That sounds good. So I whipped up 3 eggs, stuffed them with spinach and a whole tomato, some strawberries and blueberries on the side, and half an avocado. And then I ate a banana because I wanted to and I can. Here's the weird part:
Without putting any thought into it, I sat at my kitchen table and ate this colorful meal in quiet. That is a BIG deal for me! I cannot tell you the last time I ate a meal NOT on the couch in front of the TV. And I was always so annoyed by weight loss experts that tell you to eat in quiet at the kitchen table. I always thought... NO! I need stimulation when I eat! Really? How did that happen? I ate calmly and peacefully and when I was done, I was done. Got up and went about my day. Perhaps this doesn't seem like a revelation to anyone else, but for me... a true food addict my whole life, this is, again, a BIG DEAL. The wild thing is, I didn't set my intention to eat in peace, it just seemed natural. Like I had been doing it all my life.
Same thing with sleeping last night. I always sleep with my kitchen light on. I don't think it's been turned off since I moved in the house. Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night, and my first instinct was "turn that damn light off!" So I got up, turned it off, and went back to sleep. Ah, darkness. But I have never cared about darkness before. I have always left that light on as a sort of night light.
I feel so much more alert. Like my body can actually tell me things today and I can listen. I have energy today, but it is a calm and focused energy. Not I-drank-too-much-coffee-and-I'm-restless. It's becoming very apparent how strongly being an around the clock junk food eater was really effecting me physically and mentally. I am a little sad, though, thinking that my days of fast food might really be over...... is that normal?
Have you considered starting a journal of your primal walk?