Primal Journal - Siobhan page 147

[Judg]

Okay, how about a picture of your art wall?

[Siobhan]

Could be difficult since I don't have a camera. Also since it is original art, it would be unethical to post a picture of it here.

Slept all PM in preparation for working tonight. Must admit I am quite anxious about going to work. I don't really know how to get my mojo back as far as work. I have just been dreading it, although I am terribly grateful to have a good job. I wouldn't be able to live in this beautiful place without that dreadful anxiety-producing job!

Maybe I need to find some really good advice on retraining. Perhaps there is some job I could train for online in a relatively short period of time. Some kind of technical job?

[Siobhan]

Bad news: I'm craving carbs.

Good news: I'm craving carbs in the form of apples. For some reason apples are tasting like manna from heaven. But I only eat one, that does the trick.

[Coll]

I am going through the same thing with apples at the moment! I found some called suncrisp - I swear that they are enough to send me over the top!! The texture and flavour are perfect in my estimation ..... just have one a day and I am a happy camper So sorry your job is causing stress and anxiety - not nice and not good long term either. Trust you'll be able to come up with an alternative ... I am so glad to be done with the high stress nursing that I used to do. Being a stay at home mom certainly isn't easy, but I wouldn't trade it for what I used to have to do!! No thank you!

[Siobhan]

Apples are so good! I've been eating local honeycrisps. The apple crop was horrible this year but luckily some made it through. I ate raspberries all summer; I guess now it's time for apple gorging. But apples are pretty hard to overeat. Ah, the beauty of whole food.

I was reading a scary internet story about a guy who stabbed his wife, chopped her up, and buried her in the desert when one of my co-workers entered my office through a little-used door in the back - I just about jumped out of my skin! He was very apologetic but I'll bet he was secretly laughing a lot!

[Judg]

An apple a day... Hey, the website is called Mark's Daily Apple, right?

So sorry your work is stressing you out. It certainly wouldn't hurt to look into your options.

I just try not to read those stories at all. I've had enough of being appalled at what people can do. It doesn't help anybody at all for me to read up on the details. But I find I just can't handle things like that as well as I could when I was younger. And seeing as I am under no obligation, and it serves no useful purpose, I just don't. Well, not very often.

[Siobhan]

I'm not into true crime, but I do love stories and I can get sucked in to reading stuff pretty easily. Actually, it was pretty funny, even at the time.

I certainly haven't come up with any compelling journal entries lately! Been working pretty hard this week, a lot on my mind. Mostly the car. I wish I had someone to help me make a decision. That sounds like an avoidance technique, and it is. But I just can't deal with this on my own. A voice in my head is just saying, drive over to the Nissan dealer and drive away with a new car. And in many ways this is correct. My car is 15 years old. It has been a good car and has taken me many places. I don't want to have a car payment. Of course I don't! Who does? But I can afford it. I would rather not, but I can buy a modest new car. And I can't keep that voice out of my head that I need someone to help me with this. But there is no one.

[Judg]

You can do this, Siobhan. When our cars were starting to get problematic, we would set a ceiling: next repair bill over $xxx and out it goes. Or when the mechanic looked at us and told us we would be better off letting it go. And he was the one who would have been making money if we had kept it. So if I were you that's what I would do. As long as you're sure there's no safety issue involved in driving it as is, continue until the repair costs are unreasonable. Or the stress of taking it in all the time is greater than the stress of payments.

[JudyCr]

2012's are really rock bottom now, or a 2012 demonstrator even cheaper.. You'll have full warranty, and you can go on trips with no worries, remember LLBean calling ya?? 15 yr old car=lots of things ready to blow. Go for it, you're a smart lady, you're healthy and in the prime of your life, it's time.

[DCarr10760]

Funny, my Twin-Sister just asked me to help her decide about a new car. Here is what I told her.

A car is one thing I won't compromise on. I don't care if it's expensive or cheap, fancy, sporty or cool, but I want my car to be reliable and dependable. I've had too many cars in my life break down in the dark, the snow, the rain, on the upper deck of the GWB (really!) to feel comfortable with an old car as my primary means of transportation.

So I buy a new one every 10 years and I take reasonably good care of them. I always buy new because I am distrustful about why somebody would trade in a 1 - 2 year old car. The extra money is worth the piece of mind for me.

I have had Subarus for the last 3 cars and each has lasted a decade or more and had nearly 250,000 miles in New England weather. I just got a new one in 2010, the last one I gave to my Middle Boy, who uses it still. I always do service at the dealership, making it a point to get to know everybody there. So far I've had pretty good luck.

Of course, there are ways to get and keep cars cheaper, but on a moonless night, well after midnight, walking five miles in the snow because my car quit (before cell phones) burned into me that having a reliable car was at the top of the list of things worth spending a bit extra on.

Dramatic though that may be, the daily benefit of getting into a nice car, and not having to wonder what might go wrong with it today is the nicest part. It's one less stressor in life.

Just my opinion, good luck with the decision.