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  1. #1
    RittenRemedy's Avatar
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    A Little Bit of R & R

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    Lately I've been thinking a lot about my dietary history, my body, and what I want out of my future. Is eating and health really so simple as "eat food, not too much, mostly (or entirely if you ask a seemingly increasing number of people) plants"? Low(sort of kind of maybe ish) carb Paleo is literally the first success I've ever had with my health. Lately though, have I gotten too wrapped up in the science, the biohacking, the bickering?

    Clearly child me ate too much food. I was a 90s child of the low fat healthy, but still homemade thankfully, age. So if I was in fact eating "food," what made me eat so much that I was able to sustain this much abuse to my body? Why does my brother who rotted out six of his baby teeth have superior health, fitness, and the waist line of an actress?

    I was brought up by a southern/Texan lady, my grandmother. We literally had to stand at the top of the stairs and enunciate so that we could learn how to speak properly. For an introvert, that alone may be the reason I hate public speaking. In the back of my mind somewhere I know how to set the table for a dinner party with multiple spoons. I was brought up to be pleasant and polite.

    When it came to eating, this meant I ate what I was given, didn't eat much candy, and avoided fatty foods. I suffered through many an overcooked, over salted, canned vegetable before I could leave the table (my brother threw them against the wall to avoid this). My reward for this good behavior was a size 18 by the time I was in 8th grade. I was 180 pounds and only 14 years old.

    Given, I was also a bread pig. I ate so much bread, but only the best whole grain. I often left the table still hungry. Could I not even be satisfied before having eaten "too much?" I definitely ate mostly plants (if you consider grains plants). My petite, elf like aunt "doesn't really eat meat." She does, but only occasionally and only a couple bites. Looking back I was very similar, just twice her size. If I was served meat, I ate it like a polite lady, but if I ever had the choice, I ate vegetarian. My favourite food was pasta with marinara and real basil.

    Whole grain pasta is pretty well accepted as a healthy food. It's even considered low GI. Maybe there wasn't enough protein, but my issues with weight and uncontrollable blood sugar continued after I became a true vegetarian and ate more beans and legumes. Clearly I was missing something. I don't know what could be missing from lots of fruit, whole, low GI grains, fresh organic vegetables, legumes, organic whole milk and cheeses, a few eggs, and a conservative drizzle of organic extra virgin olive oil. It's the diet that so many books are sold on, the one that allows people living below the poverty line to eat organic, the one that's supposed to save the world and our health.

    Then why was I so miserable? Was it really simply that I didn't "eat (enough) food"? I stopped feeling hunger sometime during high school. Through swimming (and eating All the Food) in high school, two years of college, basic training, and my first year in the army, I got as low as 140 and as high as 170, while losing more and more of my health.

    My third year in the army, I discovered paleo, and for the first time ever, I had success AND control over my body. I had steady energy, plenty of it, I was eating meat, fat, and salt, and I felt great. At least until I had to eat around other people. I actually made it all the way to 150 pounds, and finally I felt good about my body. I was happy to wear a bikini in public (pools, not the street), and when a man expressed interest, I wasn't afraid that it was only because he though because I was fat I was easy.

    But it was a different when it came to other people looking at my food. Everyone has their own opinions about food now, and many hold fiercer beliefs than for religion or politics. Maybe my issues with eating "too much" we're emotional after all? If I'm so impressionable as an adult to feel so much guilt for eating a teaspoon of butter with my homemade (gluten free and flourless) bread that I haven't done so since, isn't it even more possible I was substituting in food for whatever it is psychiatrists think make obese children obese?

    I can't imagine what that would be though. I never felt unloved, and when I was lonely, I had books to turn to. More often than not, I would forget to eat because I was at a particularly good part. I did feel hungry though. Whatever I did to lose my hunger signals has made it a little more difficult now. Having to constantly manage eating enough (but "not too much"), making sure I eat carbs (but only the right kind), and trying to find socially acceptable proteins (that actually work for my body but don't contain too much PUFA) is tiring.

    I'm tired. How is it that a fat woman bringing in a home cooked lunch of a couple oxtail joints, sweet potatoes, and fresh greens is worthy of shame and unhealthy, but if I order take away BBQ pork and cole slaw (with PUFA laden mayo!) no one bats an eye? I don't want to be tired. I want to enjoy my food and have the energy to enjoy my body. I don't want anyone else to have to feel what it's like to lose a fight with your own body, especially not anyone I care about. I believe my outlook on food is defective. I don't want want that for my future. I want health.

    So why am I considering leaving the first key to success I've ever found? Is it just social pressure? This low fat mentality is hard enough to shake and harder now that it's back in fashion, but I'm no better for abandoning my butter for bananas. I guess the answer is, I'm not any more better with the biohacking macro balance of the month either. I've sifted through too many studies, and the conclusion I've come to is this:

    We've discovered a lot of things about the body, food, and different chemical reactions. But we know nothing.

    I've done a lot of dietary experiments from the conventionally approved healthy whole grains to make most of your meals vegetarian (vegan is better) to raw vegan to flexetarian to primal to paleo/whole30 to GAPS to confusion. Definitely the second half of that list has treated me more kindly, but at this point I honestly feel like I don't really know anything.

    I'm honestly not sure where I'm going to go from here, or how I'm going to cope with these new social pressures regarding how I nourish my body. There's a chance (however small) that someday I'll have to teach my children how to eat, and I'd rather have them think of food as nourishment, not a social or science project. I want to give them good food so they can go off and have fun. I don't want them as young teens to think this tomato is going to kill them or put some Hispanic into modern day slavery. I just want them, and me, to be healthy and well adjusted.

    I don't know if I'm taking a break from paleo so much as I'm taking a break from "food networking." The healthiest I've ever been, my diet was probably 80% vegetables, starchy vegetables, animals, and fruit and 20% whiskey and butter. I was happier and healthier than I was during a full on Whole30. I kid you not. Just looking at the results, I think that's a good place to start. Maybe I'll bake some (gluten free, that's one thing I really do need to avoid) bread or maybe I'll throw copious amounts of bacon into a vegetable soup. Probably both. I just hope I find happiness and health in eating again.
    Last edited by RittenRemedy; 06-05-2015 at 06:37 AM.
    yeah, but "hey i'm Khan the sword king" is not normal.... the universe is being fickle... this is a thing... ignore me for a few weeks.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by RittenRemedy View Post
    WOW
    Okay, enough of this asinine tomfoolery (or unmitigated poppycock as it were).
    Haha that made me giggle. Read it out in a British accent in my head.

    I was actually going to comment on your first post but then I read the bit where you said you wanted it to be ignored soooo!

    Anyway, it sounds like you're pretty in tune with what works for your body. Your main issue sounds like just general stress/ a feeling of being overwhelmed. Although I can't tell you how to deal with your stress (other than talking it out - you can spam me/other MDA people or journal or talk to someone you know)but maybe the bit about being unprepared - can you pack food to take with you instead of a day of only eating pizza like you mentioned?

    As for no time/energy for exercise, maybe squeeze in a 20 minute work out. A friend on here showed me Fitness Blender videos and they have some really quick ones and you can do them at home.

    Everyone slips up btw, and you shouldn't doubt your ability to achieve what you want because of it. You already seem to know what to do and how to achieve your goals. Shit happens! Flush that shit and carry ooon!

    Im sending this from my phone, so i'm sorry if any of it is jumbled or weird etc.

    Good luck !
    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

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    Driedmango is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by RittenRemedy View Post
    That's cool I'm working from my phone too.

    Also my first reaction was EEEK I'VE BEEN FOUND OUT. But thanks a lot for the kind words. I know it is 97% stress with me.
    Im fairly certain 90% of the journals on here have at least one 'i'm feeling shit about myself and life so here's a giant super negative rant' post. Mine has more than one, haha.

    You're very welcome! Are you stressed about something in particular, or just life being super busy etc? Journalling can be pretty therapeutic, and people on here are (mostly) very supportive and insightful.
    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

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    eKatherine's Avatar
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    The problem isn't that we slip up occasionally. The problem is if there's a pattern we resist learning from and developing a strategy to deal with.

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    A few things I have been thinking about recently.

    One is how to schedule meals and workouts when I get back to work. I will have little time between PT and work which is 12 hour shifts with a hopeful but not guaranteed lunch and dinner break. I am thinking to grab something small and protein heavy (something egg or dairy based) for breakfast and pack a BAS for lunch to eat on the job. That way I can use my lunch break to go the the gym (for a real workout) or walk or run errands. Then I'll have time for a nicer meal at dinner.

    It's not my favorite schedule because large meals rarely sit well with me, but I guess if I can get the BAS BA enough, dinner won't need to be a calorie bomb in the evening. I am really looking forward to some chill time at lunch too.

    I am ordering Starting Strength, and I need to make an appointment regarding my shoulder. Very contradictory. To be honest, I want a permanent profile just so I can explain that this is bad because it causes injury. You'd think that would be so simple but no. I don't know how that's going to go though. I probably won't tell my doctor about wanting to lift, but I also won't be an idiot and start out with much weight or anything that hurts. So far I've had pretty damn good luck doing the opposite of what the doctors say. Who knows, I could still be riding the blood sugar roller coaster and limping around in orthotics.

    Finally, call the Whole9 police because I'm about to say something controversial. I see a bunch of people here, and I think it's increasing, with problems possibly tied to malnutrition (hair loss, persistent low energy, just wild and crazy things that are very reminiscent of the raw foodist "detox") being put down as carb flu or some other popular diagnosis.

    There are a lot of smart people here, but let me tell you they usually aren't the ones reminding me frighteningly of the witch hunters over at 30 bananas with their cries of "detox the carb eater!" (Carbs not being the only, but a common one) Nobody reads my journal anyway, BUT IF ANYONE DOES AND YOUR HAIR IS FALLING OUT, you're probably not doing what's best for yourself. Quit that and try something else, possibly not so extreme, and covering all your nutrients both macro and micro for awhile. EDIT because of this beautiful statement: "Don't worry about "paleo purity points", contrary to popular belief you don't get a gold star from Robb Wolf or Mark Sisson when you earn 1000 PPP."

    Tl;dr: don't give your body something unhealthy and then expect it to become healthy just because you have "faith." Faith is for the soul; food is for the body.
    Last edited by RittenRemedy; 10-06-2013 at 05:21 PM.
    yeah, but "hey i'm Khan the sword king" is not normal.... the universe is being fickle... this is a thing... ignore me for a few weeks.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by RittenRemedy View Post
    Finally, call the Whole9 police because I'm about to say something controversial. I see a bunch of people here, and I think it's increasing, with problems possibly tied to malnutrition (hair loss, persistent low energy, just wild and crazy things that are very reminiscent of the raw foodist "detox") being put down as carb flu or some other popular diagnosis.

    Tl;dr: don't give your body something unhealthy and then expect it to become healthy just because you have "faith." Faith is for the soul; food is for the body.
    Hey dude. Totally agree with you here. I'm seeing it as well and it scares me shitless (I wish that was literal, with my gut...). I really really dislike every chalking symptoms up to "carb flu". I wish more people would advocate a gradual reduction. If someone says, "I'm coming off a very high carb diet with lots of processed foods," I think they should absolutely indulge in some starchy carbs & fruit for a bit. Take it primal first, adjust macros later.
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    Korean dinner win (again)

    ImageUploadedByMarks Daily Apple Forum1381570992.473623.jpg

    This restaurant has an in house butcher, and when you walk in the door you are surrounded by this wonderful aroma of grilling beef. Ahh, nothing else has that scent. I am definitely grilling my onions from now on. I don't care if I get looks of blasphemy from the locals.

    ImageUploadedByMarks Daily Apple Forum1381571148.159277.jpg

    For anyone in Suwon, the restaurant is called Jinshim Hanoo (진심한우), on the Na Hyeseok road (나혜석거리) and it is totally worth checking out the whole area. Cool place, great restaurants, beer everywhere, and mostly no cars.
    yeah, but "hey i'm Khan the sword king" is not normal.... the universe is being fickle... this is a thing... ignore me for a few weeks.

  8. #8
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    Things I (maybe) learned on leave regarding my diet

    So I just took a massive leave in America and back in Korea with my mom (who I told about my WOE and, though not specifically PB, Mark's blog. Hi mom. Love you). I didn't have a scale and all of my meals were eaten out once we hit Korea (most of them stateside were too, though it wasn't really my choice).

    I actually lost a little weight, so I'm down to where I was pre vegan. I did do a higher carb, because while I will gladly eat beef soup and grilled pork belly most days, sometimes you just have to sample the local delicacies of fish and medicinal cuisine (which ended up to be lots of delicious things followed by lots of things fermented to levels as high as a Grateful Dead concert).

    A few things I noticed that I am going to either utilize or learn from.

    I don't do well on starch in the morning, or really anytime other than right before bed. I just crash too hard. On the days when my carb exceeded 140g, or I ate it too much unbalanced towards one meal, my blood sugar go wild really on either sugar or starch, but rice was always worse than a breakfast of yogurt and sweetened tea even.

    I felt better if I kept meat and rice separate, just as an example. Though my digestive issues didn't really go away, I felt a ton better after a couple days eating excessively fermented fish and vegetables and grilled pork belly. I really think the ferments had something to do with it, though I don't have any proof.

    Most days we skipped breakfast and ate one big meal for either lunch or dinner and light for the other. This would be ideal if I wasn't stuck at work and not aloud to leave when I was hungry. Getting hungry at work before I can leave is really difficult because there are an unbelievable amount of unhealthy things to eat. Seriously, if you love your soldier, send them meat not cookies and cheap chips.

    We walked for probably four to ten hours every day. I really think this is where the weightloss came in. Just a really low impact, slow walk with a couple hills and lots of stuff to see and do and good things to eat. No wonder Koreans are (generally) healthier and lighter than Americans. I got it. A new diet book. But this time we won't limit macros, just sell your car.

    I wish I wasn't stuck at a desk for twelve (YES FUCKING TWELVE) hours, but that's something I'll have to figure out, because while I agree that it I may be 80% diet, that 20% exercise is loaded in my case. I gotta get into a pool again or something. Just hoping we get to stay on this schedule longer than the last one. Probably not though, as new first sergeants tend to think the other guy was a complete idiot and he can do better before understanding the mission.
    Last edited by RittenRemedy; 11-28-2013 at 06:27 AM.
    yeah, but "hey i'm Khan the sword king" is not normal.... the universe is being fickle... this is a thing... ignore me for a few weeks.

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    Today is a special day kiddos; it's market day aka curry day! What this means is I've finally made it through the eight pounds of wonderful Aussie brisket, and now I need more meat. But before that, I catch the bus into town and walk to the Indian restaurant for some mutton curry, rice, and chai.

    The butcher had some really nice looking beef shoulder, so I got a couple kilos of that. I'll pick up the rest of my list at the commissary, providing they have it.

    And then I think I'll dose my shoulder in preparation for the PT test and crash for a little.
    yeah, but "hey i'm Khan the sword king" is not normal.... the universe is being fickle... this is a thing... ignore me for a few weeks.

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    Hope you enjoy your curry, RR

    And thanks for reminding me to pick up some mutton (maybe goat). We haven't had a Mutton curry for a few weeks.
    If you're interested in my (very) occasional updates on how I'm working out and what I'm eating click here.

    Quote Originally Posted by tfarny View Post
    If you are new to the PB - please ignore ALL of this stuff, until you've read the book, or at least http://www.marksdailyapple.com/primal-blueprint-101/

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