Help me! I need a talking-to
Ok... so I went on holiday for a week and fell off the bandwagon.
Now that was planned and worth it.
I enjoyed every meal out and had only the most high-quality treats: fresh French bread and croissants, home-made pie, incredible ice-cream made by the patissier etc. If I'm going to eat sugar and grains or just not primal, it is going to be in settings like this. It is worth it it, and I am not on holiday often enough for it to make a difference if I eat clean the rest of the time. I felt pretty good the whole 5 days
However. I don't think my addictive brain was prepared for this. What I feel bad for is not what I ate during the holiday, it's what I've been eating in the 24 hours since I am back. Feeling like shit because my jeans are tight + post-holiday blues + sugar addction (I had had no sugar and eaten VLC for 6 weeks! Didn't even want fruit, but now.. god.) = destructive spiral of guilt.
Last night I polished of the bag of sweets I had bought for the office. Today I was back to shovelling in disgusting biscuits at the office or while reading dumb sh*t mindlessly on the computer. Whenever I feel slightly better, instead of going on with my day, I have more sugar and eat until I feel terrible and extremely guilty again. I know the cycle all too well, in the past I have had weeks-long cycle of eating until I am sick and crying with guilt, as if to 'punish' myself for eating too much in the first place. It is rather self-destructive and all sorts of fucked up.
Instead of going back to my delicious Paleo diet with the enthusiasm I had for it even just before the holiday, I just keep telling myself that I've RUINED all my previous efforts and that it's too late. I think that 10 days ago I had had a very good workout day, effortlessly cooked 3 delicious meals and felt so great and looked so lean. But this just makes me want to cry, bang my head against a wall and eat a tub of Ben and Jerry's because clearly I will never feel that good again because I've RUINED IT ALL.
I just need someone, someone else than me to tell me that it's going to be OK and that I can make it.
I am sorry for the whiney post - perhaps just writing down the ridiculous shit that's going on can help, I hope.
Last edited by AngloPaleo; 04-10-2012 at 11:23 AM.
You are OK. Start over. Clean your kitchen out. Ditch the Ben and Jerry's. Stock up on meat, fruit, veggies. Get some new primal recipes to be excited about. Schedule exercise. Or at least put on your walking shoes and move. Chew gum at the office.
And remind yourself- the cookies are not as good as the real pastries! And the pastries when your splurge taste even better when you have not been eating crap.
You have to think of the primal lifestyle as a long term thing and not just a weight loss plan that can be easily screwed up. As magnolia1973 says, just get back to doing what you KNOW is the right way to do it! Don't eat more bad things because you ate some bad things, that's just giving yourself an excuse to feed the addictive behaviour. Nothing is ruined here.
I can say all this with confidence because I just had fish and chips from the chippy!