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Thread: Fibromyalgia and Fat - Tomi's story page 9

  1. #81
    Sabine's Avatar
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    Right.
    Sad as it is to think of, some people do not want to get better or are not willing to try anything in an effort to feel better. At some level, her mind may be saying, I would rather feel the way I do, than take a risk on trying something different. Change, or hope, is worse than what she is experiencing now.
    How do I know? Why, I was in that spot for a long time (with something emotional).
    So, she may change, but it has to come from her, not you. You can't force her to try/be healthy against her will. There is enough of a pay-off in her present situation for her to continue as she is, even if it is not visible or understandable to others. Or even her. What a shock it was to me, when I figured out some of the things that were holding me back.

  2. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sabine View Post
    Right.
    Sad as it is to think of, some people do not want to get better or are not willing to try anything in an effort to feel better. At some level, her mind may be saying, I would rather feel the way I do, than take a risk on trying something different. Change, or hope, is worse than what she is experiencing now.
    How do I know? Why, I was in that spot for a long time (with something emotional).
    So, she may change, but it has to come from her, not you. You can't force her to try/be healthy against her will. There is enough of a pay-off in her present situation for her to continue as she is, even if it is not visible or understandable to others. Or even her. What a shock it was to me, when I figured out some of the things that were holding me back.
    I don't know that the answer is what you state. I think it's that I have no "credentials"... she was going to the University hospital and taking all their meds, doing all their exercises and nothing worked for her pain, so she listened to people online and resorted to illegal drugs to get some relief. Then she went to the Mayo clinic for a week and came home with a new sleep cycle, some CW diet recommendations, and new exercises. They want her to be drug free, but no one has mentioned wheat/grains, processed food, or PUFAs as a source of her pain.

    Since Primal or gluten-free and what not weren't suggested to her by those with the fancy degrees, she won't take my advice.... no matter where I pick the information up from. Oh well. I'm not trying to force her, just trying to open her eyes to other possibilities than collapsing on the couch each afternoon after work feeling like crud and popping pills that obviously aren't working for her pain.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  3. #83
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    Other than my own research, what persuaded me to try primal was the fact that I could do so with no investment. Just quit eating grains, cut back on fruit and dairy. Try for a month or two. If it doesn't work for me, I can quit at any time. Easy-peasy. I haven't signed up for a monthly supply of acai berry extracts, or paid for Weight Watchers meetings, or bought expensive supplements, or tried to persuade my doctor to prescribe something exotic. I just change the way I eat and see what happens? What have I got to lose?

    I do get your MIL though, I really do. I have received so much unsolicited advice over the years, most of it bad. Or been told that my problem is probably X,Y, or Z. You get numb to it after a while. It's like beggars or telemarketers or door-to-door salesmen, you develop a rejection reflex. I know people want to help, so I don't get nasty about it, but I rarely listen either. I usually look up the conditions they cite, see after two minutes' reading that it doesn't fit my symptoms as well as CFS, and if they ask, then I can politely tell them that I checked it. Just dropping into the conversation when it's natural that you know people who have overcome fibromyalgia without medication might work in her mind better than anything else, although it would probably take a while. These things usually have to simmer for a long time.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

  4. #84
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    Other than my own research, what persuaded me to try primal was the fact that I could do so with no investment. Just quit eating grains, cut back on fruit and dairy. Try for a month or two. If it doesn't work for me, I can quit at any time. Easy-peasy. I haven't signed up for a monthly supply of acai berry extracts, or paid for Weight Watchers meetings, or bought expensive supplements, or tried to persuade my doctor to prescribe something exotic. I just change the way I eat and see what happens? What have I got to lose?

    I do get your MIL though, I really do. I have received so much unsolicited advice over the years, most of it bad. Or been told that my problem is probably X,Y, or Z. You get numb to it after a while. It's like beggars or telemarketers or door-to-door salesmen, you develop a rejection reflex. I know people want to help, so I don't get nasty about it, but I rarely listen either. I usually look up the conditions they cite, see after two minutes' reading that it doesn't fit my symptoms as well as CFS, and if they ask, then I can politely tell them that I checked it.

    Just dropping into the conversation when it's natural that you know people who have overcome fibromyalgia without medication might work in your MIL's mind better than anything else, although it would probably take a while. These things usually have to simmer for a long time.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

  5. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judg View Post
    Just dropping into the conversation when it's natural that you know people who have overcome fibromyalgia without medication might work in your MIL's mind better than anything else, although it would probably take a while. These things usually have to simmer for a long time.
    That's why I sent her the link to this journal... so she could see for herself how it worked for Tomi.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  6. #86
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    And you've done about all you can do. I really have to admire your persistence, even when she's giving you so little encouragement. Hopefully something will get through the armour.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

  7. #87
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    AWE - Saturday morning! I love saturday mornings.

    Judg - I started eating this way for the same reason - it was free, easy - and I read that it was amazing at improving health. We all have to come to that place of making a change in our own time, so Jenn26point2, you're MIL is on her own time. Its hard not to share things with people when we know it could greatly improve their life - and its hard when they don't seem to be as excited about it we are.

    I have exciting news! I'm down a couple more pounds! I think the added supplements are helping my metabolism! I won't be forgetting to take those pills! Maybe all these years I've needed to give my thyroid a boost and didn't even know it. And since I'm not "tracking" everything anymore I don't think about eating as often - so I think over all my calories are pretty low. I have no idea really. I eat bacon and eggs for breakfast and then I eat when I get hungry later in the day - usually not til dinner. When I read what Mark had to say about WHEN (when hunger ensues naturally) eating it just made perfect sense. Anyway its SOOOO exciting to see the number going down again! and my clothes are getting lose again. I'm so anxious to get back into all my skinny clothes! Last year I was shopping at the GoodWill and I found a pair of really great jeans, called Silver. I thought they were they old Levi Silver tab - but I didn't see the tab on the pocket (remember when used to rip off the tab on other peoples jeans!) Anyway I looked them up online and found out they were actually $80 jeans! I paid $6 for them! and they were such a great fit! size 12! That was a fun find! Those jeans are my inspiration and I have them hanging on the door of my closet so I see them all the time!

    I saw my sister yesterday - the one with fibro who weighs a LOT! she's doing great and has lost about 50 pounds! she hasn't cut out grains yet - but she said she's gonna try. I'm so excited! She lives about 90 miles away so I don't see her often. It was GREAT to see is taking better care of herself.

    well - better get moving - the weekend is waiting!
    Last edited by tomi; 04-28-2012 at 12:54 PM.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    Things I choose to let go:

    All grains - including rice
    Refined sugars
    Legumes - including peanut butter
    Nuts and nut butters
    Alcohol and soda
    Chocolate
    Acidic foods, such as pineapple and tomato
    Coffee and tea
    Eggs
    Curry
    White potato
    Dairy - including butter

    I'm choosing to do this......... I don't HAVE to.

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

  8. #88
    Judg's Avatar
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    Tomi, so glad to see you bubbly and enthusiastic.

    I'm with you on the tracking thing. I haven't been doing that, but I have been researching PB so much I've had my mind on food almost all the time. I'm going to try to shift my attention elsewhere for a while, although I will probably check out Paleo Track to see if I've got things well-balanced. Tomorrow...
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

  9. #89
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    I used to wear Silver jeans. I got them at Vanity before I started getting too fat for them. I wore a size 32 (mine were done in inches rather than size). I paid $50 for my last pair and was pissed when my chub rub burned through the pant leg. Vowed never to get them again b/c obviously it was a flaw in the product, not in me being too fat to wear them. lol

    Judg, I've tried Paleo Track... I'm not sure I'm impressed. Still playing with it though.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  10. #90
    tomi's Avatar
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    My Silvers have an inch size also - but I went online and found out how to convert it to the American sizing system. I don't know what the inch size is now, I'd have to go take a peak.......... but it converted to a size 12. I felt pretty dang sexy wearing them! And WILL wear them again!

    My Basset Hound is acting like he doesn't feel very good and I'm worried about him. We just had to put down the Dachshund last week, and it would really break my heart to lose this one too. Maybe he's just sad cuz now he's an only dog. When we got him we had 2 others, and we've lost them both since December. Maybe Zeus is just depressed. Poor guy........

    Ugh - I have to go get ready for work. I wish we were independently wealthy so I didn't have to go to a job - BLAH. Maybe I'll start buying lottery tickets!!!

    Have a good day, girls!
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    Things I choose to let go:

    All grains - including rice
    Refined sugars
    Legumes - including peanut butter
    Nuts and nut butters
    Alcohol and soda
    Chocolate
    Acidic foods, such as pineapple and tomato
    Coffee and tea
    Eggs
    Curry
    White potato
    Dairy - including butter

    I'm choosing to do this......... I don't HAVE to.

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

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