Fibromyalgia and Fat - Tomi's story page 80

[tomi]

You can bet I'll be ordering that new book of sauces when it comes out! I may even "pre-order" it!

Again - my issue with the suggestions is my tastebuds........ I like sweet not savory. I don't even like black pepper!!! Sorry - I know you're all trying and I so appreciate it! Don't give up on me!

I had my days wrong - yesterday was day 6 -- today day 7. For some reason I am REALLY hungry this morning! So I'm going to make some eggs. I normally don't eat until abou 11:30 - buts only 9:30 and I'm ready for some food. Scrambled eggs this morning (3).

I'm honestly feeling smaller I'm sure I've only lost of few pounds - but I wonder if the walking has helped tightened things up a bit. Mark says even walking is the good for the "core" so I'm hoping that means my abs are getting a workout as well as my legs. I think I should be doing something for toning my arms too. I have the bowflex - but its so boring. Maybe I should set up the tv in there, or just turn on some music in the house? We'll see. I'd like to be nice and toned, but at my age - I'll settle for just thin.

Hubby comes home tomorrow evening! Can't wait! I miss him. But I have to admit I haven't missed him as much this year as I have in the passed. I think thats a good thing - it means I'm more secure in myself - that I can be alone and not feel like I'm totally lost. It also means I'm getting over my fear that he's going to die in some freak accident. (Background: my dad died in a car accident while my mother was 3 months pregnant with me. So my entire life I've had this fear that my loves ones will die in a car accident when they are away from me. Totally irrational, I know - but I've fought this fear my entire life. My ex was a truck driver for the first 4 years we were married, and then he got a job where he had to travel around the state by car 2 weeks out of the month! Not a good combination! I was constantly on edge!) But, anyway --- I'm feeling just fine about hubby being away. I've sorta liked having my freedom to do things in my timing, as I want them. Like going to bed to read for a while. I've always liked to do that - but don't cuz hubby gets up early and I don't want to keep him awake. Anyway --- I am very much looking forward to having my honey home with me.

I'm trying to think of something to give the guys at the shop - to thank them for taking care of things while the boss is gone. They are very responsible and trustworthy guys. I'm going to suggest giving a gift certificate to a restaraunt or something. One guy is single and doesn't date (not gay, just "odd"), the other has a wife and 3 young kids. Maybe a gift cert to the pizza place near their apartment? But what for the single guy? Have to give this some thought.

Just ate my 3 scrambled eggs - I let them sit in the pan too long so they were more of an egg pancake! I turned them over, sprinkled a bit of colby-jack cheese and rolled them up. Simply, but good. But now I'm craving a glass of cold orange juice! weird.

I never made it to Costco or the hardware store yesterday -- I just love being at home and I have to pry myself away on the weekends! Okay - only when hubby is not home - then I don't where I am as long as I'm with him. So, today I need to go to those places after work. Plus do a deposit for the boatshop. Maybe I'll go to work a wee bit early so I can get out of there around 3. That would be good. Banking for work and boatshop, then costco and homedepot. UGH. I hate shopping!

I'm going to take a little walk this morning before I have to get moving so I should check a few more journals and get to it! Happy Day everyone! Its SOOO beautiful out there!

[tomi]

If I walk 55 minutes can I claim an hour? I'm sure I'll walk another 5 minutes through out the day! I didn't intend to walk that long today - but the air feels so good this time of year - and I was on a roll. Now I'm really tired though - and still have to go to work. UGH. I may be pusing costo off until tomorrow now. We'll see how I feel when the work is done.

[valmason01]

Yes you can claim an hour Just park further away from the store. Just stopping by to say hello. I love how positive you are! I know you can do this.

[Judg]

So pleased to see how well you are doing in so many areas, Tomi. Keep it up!

Yes, it counts as an hour. Absolutely. I bet you did way more than 5 minutes' worth of walking while you were shopping.

And yes, I would try to retrain your tastebuds. Gradually usually works better for me when I'm working on that kind of thing. I had just retrained my tastebuds to really like beans after a lifetime of finding them unappetizing, and then I went primal. Kind of ironic.

[tomi]

LOVING the encouragement! thanks!

I didn't make it to Cosco or the hardware store........ just too pooped out. But I did go up and down the stairs at work at least 5 times! I'll say that makes up the 5 minutes shy of an hour of walking.

I stepped on the scales last night fully clothed and after eating dinner..... they were lower than I expected them to be! So, I'm wondering where I am, first thing in the morning, "neked" and before eating! If I'm predicting right I'll surpass my goal of 6 pounds over the 21 day challenge. Can't complain about that! And, this is going so well, and so easy I'm going to continue on, even passed the 21 days. Maybe I'll just do 21 day challenges until I get to my goal! What a great idea!

I talked to hubby yesterday and he was so proud to tell me that they made burgers and he ate it WITHOUT a bun! Maybe he's starting to "get it"! He needs to lose a good 30 pounds - and on his 5'7" stature -- thats a LOT! and most of it is sitting on his mid-section. (not sexy). He says he doesn't care if I'm "round" he loves my body no matter ----- but I'm sorry, a guy with a gut is just not attractive. A short man with a gut is just an OOMPA LOOMPA -- yuck. I like him when he's about 180, and I'm guessing right now he's pushing 225. Maybe if I get thin - he'll want to be thin too. ????? hopefully. Besides, he's got diabetes and heart disease to think about.

My son if off of work for the rest of week. He's been with this company for nearly 3 years and has only taken 2 or 3 days of vacation - so they are sorta forcing him to use it. Work is a little slow right now - so this is a good time for him to be off. He's going to use the time to try to get rid of some of his books and other junk that he doesn't want to take with him when he moves out. So we'll be taking boxes of books to used book stores to hopefully sell. He's got a pretty huge collection of lego's from his childhood that he's trying to sell on craigslist, and a few other sale-able childhood "toys". At least he's doing something to prepare to move out. I'm hoping he will be get the courage to call the guy to the get loan application process started. He's a family friend, so its not like he'll be dealing with a stranger. Course, then he needs to find a realtor in the Portland area and start looking at properties. That could be a challenge for him. Last night I spent a lot of time praying for healing for his anxieties!

Being a mom is sometimes really painful. I want to "fix" this for him - but I can't. He's got to do this on his own. All I can do is love him and encourage him. But, my mother's heart is sure hurting. I know how much he struggles with this. He hates himself for not being able to function in the world the way others do. The other day I asked him what was going on in his life. He looked at me with a bewildered expression and said, "mom, I have NO life" - I go to work and I come home. I almost cried right there in front of him. What's a mother to do?

UGH............. stop thinking about it.

Hubby should be home by this time tomorrow - and I'm really ready for him to be home. He's only been gone since Thursday morning - but still...... I know - I'm pathetic!

[Pedidoc]

A short man with a gut is just an OOMPA LOOMPA -- yuck.

I laughed so hard when I read this, I almost aspirated my coffee! I too am married to an OL.

[namelesswonder]

Your son is doing well, from where I sit! Incredibly responsible that he is making those calls and making plans, trying to sell things and provide for himself. It's not easy to do those things. Of course, I don't know how old he is. I moved back in after college, moved out last year at 23. My sister didn't move out until this year, at 26. She's a full-time nanny and has to find her own health insurance this year, but has made no visible moves to do so =\ Just be supportive of him and I think he'll be okay, especially if he's such a dedicated worker. He must have some money saved up at this point?

[runnerbean]

I'll give the sweet thing some thought. Do you like sesame? There is a Japanese dressing I make that is sweet. It has some sugar but not too much and with the powerful sesame flavour a little goes a long way. Will try to find a recipe later.
Another thing I love for sweet is adding fruit to my salads. A handful of blueberries, a chopped or grated apple or pear, some sliced peach or strawberry, a few dried cranberries. Not as sweet as honey mustard but it really jumps out at you with all the vegetable flavours. I think it's just like you say ... these things are so much about what you're used to ... you maybe need to adjust to the flavours of the salad itself. With all the veggies you grow, you should have fantastic salad flavours even without any dressing!

[jenn26point2]

Hey Tomi, Thanks for the encouragement and insight on "my time coming". I know things will be a lot better once I'm done with school, but I'm afraid I'll have so much time on my hands then that I won't know how to fill it... I'll have an extra 8 hours a week from class time alone once school ends... But, I'm almost there.

And Brady is old enough now that I can trust him to play outside without getting nabbed or wandering into the street - as long as I check on him periodically to make sure he's following the rules. Makenna is still too young to play on her own, but she likes to help. maybe one of these days I can use that to my advantage and make some headway with the stuff I wish to complete. There are so many unfinished projects!!

I hope your Tuesday is going well. Reading your journal alway seems to lift my spirits, useful on a day like today when my day started so crappy and I was in the duldrums... Thanks.

[tomi]

Your son is doing well, from where I sit! Incredibly responsible that he is making those calls and making plans, trying to sell things and provide for himself. It's not easy to do those things. Of course, I don't know how old he is. I moved back in after college, moved out last year at 23. My sister didn't move out until this year, at 26. She's a full-time nanny and has to find her own health insurance this year, but has made no visible moves to do so =\ Just be supportive of him and I think he'll be okay, especially if he's such a dedicated worker. He must have some money saved up at this point?

He's 26. He has a fulltime job and makes really good money. I think he's making $22/hr now. He never misses work and he's a valued employee. At least I assume so since they increased his pay from $16/hr ot $22/hr in order to keep him from leaving and taking a job elsewhere. He doesn't enjoy being a drafter and wants to "find his passion" - but is rather appathetic about everything, so he's sorta floundering, and is frustrated. He cooks his own meals, and cleans up after himself, he does his own laundry and is in charge of cleaning is own bathroom, which is also the main bath on the first floor. He just struggles with FEAR. People cause him great anxiety! Like fearing spiders or mice............ he fears people. Social anxiety at its worst. I'm trying to be supportive and build him up - but I also need to help him move forward. I just have trouble finding right formula between the two.

Thanks for your kind words.