Yes, you're absolutely right on that. If she doesn't learn boundaries and figure out how to handle her emotions then the potential is always there. Her melt downs have always been about maintaining her control in our home. Now that she doesn't even have a bedroom here anymore I don't foresee any reason she would fall back into that old behavior. I can see that she might try to regain a "hold" somehow - like wanting to move a personal item back into our home. But that is absolutely not going to happen.
I've never seen a child who so desperately needed control and power over her environment. She would absolutely insist that nothing be changed inside or outside. I think she has some OCD issues. The first explosion we had was even before we got married. Hubby's work truck was getting old, and it had an extended cab, but not a full backseat - so getting the 5 of us in it was very uncomfortable. So, we decided to buy a new truck. SD came unglued!!! She was 11 years old......... flat out telling us we were NOT getting a different truck. Well, we did it anyway of course but she fought us every step of the way. The next fight was over the shower. After her mom moved out oldest SD started showering in the master bathroom because it made it easier for the girls to get ready for school that way. When I moved in we told her she would have to go back to showering in the hall bathroom and would have to share with her sister. The mountain blew up again! You would have thought we were telling her she was going to have to shower outside with the hose! She yelled and cried and made a huge fuss! Next came painting of the walls. Then moving of furniture. Then taking down the hedge around the front yard --- and it continued. For 13 years. Hubby never could see that she had problems - he would just try to bandaid the issue and move forward. So - here she is 25 years old and still behaving in the same way she did when she was 11.
I wonder what is going to happen when she finds a boyfriend? Her need to control her friends has made her lose every best friend she has ever had. I can't imagine her being able to hang on to a boyfriend. What happens the first time she has a melt down and cries uncontrollably in front of him?
How very sad that her parents didn't take this seriously and get her some help when she was young. I tried to tell hubby there was need for counseling, but he wouldn't listen.
I just hope she can work it out, figure it out, something so can have a happy, healthy life.