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Thread: Fibromyalgia and Fat - Tomi's story page 40

  1. #391
    tomi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judg View Post
    Fluctuations of a pound or two don't mean anything. You put on half a pound every time you drink a black cup of coffee, and lose as much every time you pee. And remember, it is much, much better to lose it slowly and permanently than quickly and temporarily. And easier on the clothing budget, LOL! (says the woman who just went shopping... oy!)
    So right! especially the part about pee'ing out the coffee -- 'cept in my case - I drink one cup - and pee at least 3 times in the next 30 minutes! Great diuretic for me! Too bad it also gives me heartburn!

    I'm not sweating the weight fluctuation, just annoys me more than anything. When I see those smaller numbers, I NEVER want to see those bigger numbers again! I'm sure you can relate. I've pretty much resolved myself to losing it slowly, since no matter what I do thats the only way it will come off! I have a ton of clothes in my closet that are waiting to be worn --- cuz in 2010 I lost 50 pounds on a stupid meal replacement program (Medifast) --- and promptly gained it all back. Took me a year to lose it - and only 3 months to gain it back. Grrrr......... So, I have about 10 pairs of capri's and a couple jeans, and I'd say 10 tops just sitting there gathering dust. Its killing me!!!! I wanted to wear all those capri's this summer - but unless we have summer well into the winter months, they are most likely going to be gathering dust until next spring! And lets pray that God gives us better weather next year than we are getting this year! June 19th --- and rain, with low 60's ............ totally sucks!

    Judg - you've hit a new low it looks like!!!! You'll be shouting out that you've hit the 140's in a couple weeks! Yeah!
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    my motivation

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

  2. #392
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    Doc emailed back already! She said just what Marcadav said.......... it could take a full 8 weeks to see how this dose is working! Good grief........... I guess I have no choice but just to be patient and wait it out!
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

  3. #393
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    Candy in Wonderland is offline Senior Member
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    Patience, never found a shop where they sell that !
    My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
    My Blog: Candy in Wonderland
    Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
    Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

  4. #394
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    One of my favorite quotes (ironically, heard for the first time at a Weight Watchers meeting):
    Patience is a bitter plant, but it bears a sweet fruit.

  5. #395
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    Sabine - I'm stealing that an adding it to my signature line! AND I'm putting it on my fridge! THANK YOU!!!!
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

  6. #396
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    okay --- I'm an ice cream addict!!!!! I hate when my husband brings home ice cream - it has a power over me I can not control! Or maybe I just don't want to cuz I LOVE it so much!

    I did so well yesterday - and then had ice cream before bed .......... how dumb.

    okay I need to do some soul searching here - this might get deep and boring so you might want to skip reading it.......... I need to work out some stuff.

    What is it about getting to a healthy weight that scares me? I mean, I want to be "thin" again. I want to look in the mirror and say - "not bad for a middle aged gal!" I want to be a healthy size for my frame. I want my husband to really love what he see's when he looks at me! (although he says I'm pretty HOT just the way I am!) Okay - so here is what I think.......... In my "past" life (with the EX) I was 135-145 pounds, and he thought I was FAT! So I struggled every day of my life to maintain, but I was also always trying to get back down to my wedding weight of 122. I struggled and fretted about it every single day! When I gained up to 155 I joined Weight Watchers and got back down to 132. But I had to basically starve to maintain that weight. Am I fearful of getting down there and having to stress and starve to stay there? Is it easier to just stay plump so I don't have that stress to deal with? Is that why I give in to the ice cream, or the cookie dough? (my only cheats since going primal) Am I so scared to face trying to maintain that weight that I will sabatouge my weight loss efforts?

    My EX really a number on my psychie. Good heavens! I was healthy, and I was a size 10 - and he thought I was fat! I lived with that scrutany for 18 years! I struggled everyday - and I was constantly monitoring every bite that went into my mouth. Is THAT what I'm battling against now? Is that what is keeping me from staying on course? If I don't reached my goal, then I won't have to struggle to maintain it!!

    So......... how do I counter these thoughts?

    Well, first - I don't eat the way I used to. I don't eat the packaged pasta and rice dishes, or the bread and peanut butter. I don't eat mayo, and I rarely have salad dressing. That alone should make it easy to maintain............ but I need to break the ice cream cravings............ and the cookie dough cravings!

    So, I won't keep anymore cookie dough on hand in the fridge - I will bake all the cookies and send them away to what ever event they are meant for.

    Hubby likes to have ice cream.......... how do I keep from eating it???? If I don't have lactaid pills I can't eat dairy......... and ice cream is the only dairy I ever eat, unless I put heavy cream in something. But that isn't the right way to do it either - it needs to be MY CHOICE to not eat it! why do love ice cream so much? Cuz its cold, creamy, sweet..........and every bite is a mouthful of yummy!!!!!!

    Okay............. I need to just sit on that thought a while and see what I come up with.

    I never overeat good, healthy food. Its the ice cream and the cookie dough that is keeping me from losing weight! GRRRR! Damn sweet tooth! Sugar cravings???? does it all come down to sugar cravings? creamy - smooth - light - sugary - stuff!!!! thats my weakenss.........

    Do I feel GOOD after eating it???? NO NO NO!!!!! I feel heavy, sluggish, nauseated, bloated!!!! So, I'm trading 20 minutes of taste-good pleasure for 4 hours of feel-nasty misery!!! What a nice trade off! Thats really stupid! But it goes deeper than just the taste-good pleasure.............. I'm sabatouging myself because I'm scared to try to maintain the "thin" again. It easier to stay over weight, then face the struggle of staying thin and healthy.

    I think thats it. I think I've found my road block!

    I'm going to go for a walk and think on that for a bit..............
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

  7. #397
    Judg's Avatar
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    Stop struggling to be thin and healthy then. Concentrate on developing a healthy, joyful relationship with food. I spent a couple of years doing just that before I even tried to lose. I just kept looking for better ways to eat, healthier and less fattening, that were fun! I ate for health and for joy.

    And when I was ready, I would just cut rations for 3 weeks. Never more, because I didn't want the famine metabolism to kick in.

    I realize that this is not going to solve all your issues, but it could be a useful tool in the box. When you want to binge on ice cream, find a healthier, joyful substitute, and ENJOY it. (Says the woman who is in the act of feasting on a blender sherbet - see LBF's food blog for ideas.)

    Eat with joy.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

  8. #398
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    I do eat with joy every bite of ice cream is joyous!!! And I don't beat myself up over it - I just wonder why I do it when its keeping my from losing weight --- my ultimate goal! So, what I'm wrestling with is the "why" part. Its my Psychology background coming out --- I always need to find the reason WHY!!!!

    I honestly think I hit on something with the old struggle to maintain ................ because I was constantly worrying about gaining weight when I was married to the EX. Where I'm at, although I don't like it - I'm not constantly obsessing over it. Well, it might seem like it when you read this stuff - because food and weight and health is the topic of this journal. But, outside of this journal, I just relax in my own skin and live my life. But, I know I need to lose the weight - and I know eating primal is the way to do it. So why am I sabotouging myself? I stayed thin-ish (135-145) until I was not longer married to the FAT NAZI --- and then I relaxed so much about eating and food that I gained 70 pounds over the next 5 years! Not having a husband scrutinizing every bump or bulge, plus not being active because of the fibro ---- and the pounds piled on!!! I think I'm scared that if I get back down to that weight I will be constantly vigilant about staying there. I obsessed about food back then........... and for the passed 10 years, I haven't obsessed at all! So..........am I subconsiously sabotouging my efforts????

    I think I am........... so now I need to work on changing my thinking about being thin, I need to realize that I can be thin and healthy and eat well, and not have to starve myself to stay thin.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

  9. #399
    Judg's Avatar
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    You know what? I really believe you'll get there. Probably because you're at least half-way there already.
    5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
    Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
    Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

    More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
    - Lewis Mumford

  10. #400
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    Yes, I believe I will get there also. Thanks for the confidence and encouragement! I do think I hit on something with the fear of having to be hyper-vigilant about what goes into my mouth. I don't ever want to have to live that way again. But if I can change my thinking - to know that I won't have to live that way since I've changed my diet, and also my activity level, then I know I can work past this and start seeing some real changes in my weight, and in my "cheats".

    A customer of the boat shop just stopped by and delivered 8 beautiful salmon fillets! AND promised to be bringing a whole lot more in the next couple months because he has lots of fishing trips scheduled for July and August! I'm so excited cuz my fish shelf in the freezer was starting to look very empty! In fact, we had actually resorted to buying salmon at costco cuz we were affraid we were going to run out! I took out 2 older large fillets to cook tonight. I love our fishermen customers!

    Last night we had to go to a gathering for my best friend who is moving to Korea for 2 years.......... it was a bar/restaraunt. They have GREAT food! Hubby and I shared two appetizers - teriyaki chicken fingers (nearly primal) and pulled pork topped potato skins! Those were pretty dang yummy! Totally primal! I only ate 3 small chicken fingers, and 3 potato skins. Hubby had a long island, I had ice water. Yeah me!

    I'm going to spend a few days with my friend the first week in July. He hubby has to go to Toronto for training for their new job in Korea, so I'm going to keep her company and help her pack up the house. We've been best friends since 8th grade. A very LONG time! I'm going to miss her like crazy......... She wants us to come visit, but I'm not sure we can swing that kind of a trip. It would cost at least $5000. OUCH!

    I need to go to work - blah!! then I have to mow the grass when I get home. Tomorrow is mom day - not looking forward to that. Sorta talked to my sister about her doing some of the things with mom......... her answer was what I expected......... "I just don't have time unless I do it on a Saturday" Mom has given her power of attorney, and she will be the executor when mom passes away, so there are certain things that she must be present for -- but she won't take the time to do them. She should be the one writing mom's checks for bills, since she is also a signer on mom's account - yet, I'm the one doing it. Last time I was with mom she said she wished she had put me on everything since I'm the only one giving my time to help her with it all. I don't want this to be an issue between and my sister, so I'm not going to encourage her to change anything. Its not like there will be that much to handle when mom passes -- she has a little money in the bank, but no real property except the little bit of furniture in her small rented apartment. What money she does have will be spent on her final expenses. She's 86, but in extremely good health! I'm thinking she will live well into her 90's.

    I walked for a bit this morning -- but kept running into neighbors and stopping to talk so it wasn't a very productive walk! Fun, but not much for the exercise I need. Mowing the grass will help with that. I'm going to put on my pedometer when I mow cuz I want to see just how many steps I get in!

    The sunburn I got at step-daughters graduation is starting to peel! so my chest looks like I have some kind of skin disease! yuck! And the parts that peel sting a little bit! Sunscreen........... !!!!

    have a good day! Its a beautiful sunny day in the Willamette Valley - today - tomorrow the rain is supposed to return for another week! ugh!
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

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