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Thread: Fibromyalgia and Fat - Tomi's story page 263

  1. #2621
    Pedidoc's Avatar
    Pedidoc is offline Senior Member
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    Okay Tomi time to put your big girl panties on and get serious!
    Female 53
    Starting wt: 198, Goal: 135, Current with PB: 160
    Started at a size 16 down to loose 10

    With PB my asthma has improved, low back pain is gone, & I've got more energy

    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60175.html

  2. #2622
    tomi's Avatar
    tomi is offline Senior Member
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    thanks, girls............ it's easier to look at yourself honestly when you're seeing with someone else's perspective.

    today is a new day - a new start.

    Big girls panties are firmly in place.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

  3. #2623
    tomi's Avatar
    tomi is offline Senior Member
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    I started this journal with the intention of working through some difficult areas of my life - my poor eating habits which have lead to my gut issues and to my weight problems. I also started it with the hopes of having others help me. So, thank you all for the honesty and the time you take to set me straight. And for the encouragement when I'm doing well.

    I've read through Marcadav's tough love post several times now. I have to say at first I was a bit hurt -- not by Marcadav, but by the truth of it all. It spelled out my failures and weaknesses pretty clearly, and nothing hurts more than looking the ugly truth square in the face.

    I have been less than committed to this venture. Food obviously carries some power over me --- foods that are bad for me carry the most power. I don't binge on apples or sweet potatoes. I eat chocolate (sugar) -- cookies (wheat) -- ice cream (dairy) -- rum/diet coke (just total crap). And in my own defense I don't "binge" at all, but it obviously doesn't take much to set my system off and make me sick. Those are the foods that cause me to stumble and fall flat on my face - and send me running to the bathroom. Those are the foods that are keeping me fat and feeling sluggish and bloated. Those are the foods that I need to eliminate from my diet completely.

    I want to be successful - I want to break the power those things have over me. If they weren't in the house it would be much easier. I think I play these head games with myself............ I'll buy stuff for "hubby" knowing full well if I buy it I will eat it too. I guess I should stop buying things that I want to stop eating, and if hubby wants them he can stop at the store and get them himself. For the boat I will take cut up melons. I'll take a bag of mixed nuts w/o peanuts. I'll take jerky and carrot sticks. If hubby wants chips or other snacks he'll have to buy them himself. I won't buy ice cream anymore. Hubby will complain that we "don't have anything good to eat around here". Sorry........

    I sent him a text and asked him not to buy any more rum for a month so I can get my gut healed. My hope is that after a month he'll get out of the habit of wanting it also. I have noticed that the majority of the time its me initiating having a drink. I have talked to him about my concerns that I may have a problem with alcohol. He says I don't. Honestly, I think I do in that its become a habit. I'm not physically addicted at all - but I do enjoy the taste and the relaxation it gives. I can easily not drink it if I set my mind to it - but I have it way more than I'm comfortable with. Does that make sense? I guess if I'm drinking more than I'm comfortable with then I need to stop. Its become a habit that could become a real problem.

    Big Girl Panties!!!! Face my demons.......... fight them off. Thanks for helping me be honest.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

  4. #2624
    canio6's Avatar
    canio6 is online now Senior Member
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    Good luck tomi! Kick some demon butt.
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  5. #2625
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    namelesswonder is offline Moderator
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    It may be easier for your husband not to see/understand the things that you're struggling with because he isn't with you during the day or when you're eating (sometimes? most of the time?). Does he know the misery you're going through in the bathroom? Hulky is much more supportive and helps me stick to things when I tell him when something is wrong (like my knees hurting the other day, he made me lie down and elevated my legs & gave me an ice pack), instead of just whining about it. I try to limit my whining until I'm legitimately distressed.

    I think it's important for your husband to understand that even if he doesn't see you drinking as a problem, it is a problem for you. That is what is important. Can you ask him to help enforce a no-rum-for-Tomi rule? Even if it was just for a couple of months, it's a totally reasonable and healthy trial to do, in respect to any diet or health plan.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  6. #2626
    tomi's Avatar
    tomi is offline Senior Member
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    I want to have complete control over food - not the other way around.

    I want to have a healthy gut and not be sick unless I catch a virus.

    I want to be healthy and strong.

    I want to be able to hike for miles.

    I want to be able to ride my bike for hours.

    I want to be able to walk up the long hill or climb the long stairs from the marina and not be winded and tired.

    I want to be a healthy weight from a medical stand point.

    I want to be a healthy weight from an aesthetic stand point.

    I want to be able to stand naked in front of my husband and not feel self-conscious or embarrassed.

    I want to be able to wear a swim suit on the boat and not feel self-conscious or embarrassed.

    I want to be able to buy clothes that will flatter my figure and that I will feel good wearing.

    I want to stand in front of the mirror and be able to smile at what I see.
    Last edited by tomi; 05-09-2014 at 11:10 AM.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

  7. #2627
    tomi's Avatar
    tomi is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    It may be easier for your husband not to see/understand the things that you're struggling with because he isn't with you during the day or when you're eating (sometimes? most of the time?). Does he know the misery you're going through in the bathroom? Hulky is much more supportive and helps me stick to things when I tell him when something is wrong (like my knees hurting the other day, he made me lie down and elevated my legs & gave me an ice pack), instead of just whining about it. I try to limit my whining until I'm legitimately distressed.

    I think it's important for your husband to understand that even if he doesn't see you drinking as a problem, it is a problem for you. That is what is important. Can you ask him to help enforce a no-rum-for-Tomi rule? Even if it was just for a couple of months, it's a totally reasonable and healthy trial to do, in respect to any diet or health plan.
    Hubby is supportive and sensitive - but I think he isn't seeing the entire picture. He thinks I'm fine the way I am, physically. He understands that I want to lose weight, but he doesn't think its that big of a deal. As for the bathroom problems - he knows, but I'm always sick when he's a work, by evening things calms down and I'm fine. He works Saturday mornings so, sunday morning is usually the only time he will see me sick. He is starting to understand that it is a serious issue. I tend to not eat the junk food when he's around - I'm stronger when I'm not alone. Except for when we go to the boat or are on vacation - that seems to be my free to what ever time. If I eat ice cream or m&ms or whatever at home, it is generally during the day when I'm alone. I've talked to him about the rum being an issue for me and he's starting to be more sensitive about that as well.

    He's coming around and is starting to be more a help than a hindrance. Progress is slow, but I do see changes.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

  8. #2628
    tomi's Avatar
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    Yesterday I did 25 jumps with out missing! Today 32 jumps, then another 30! I'm getting better everyday.

    I am seeing great improvements in my physical strength and stamina. The jump rope was a good investment and its very good exercise (thanks Honeybuns!) I can easily do the jump rope, a little weights on the bowflex, and a 10 minute Barre3 workout.

    Its 12:45 and I need to leave for work. I haven't eaten because I ran out of eggs and forgot to get more yesterday. I was going to cook a steak but decided to save them for dinner tonight. So - I'm going to work fasting. I have some pulled pork I will take in case I need to eat something at my desk.

    hope everyone is having a wonderful day!
    Last edited by tomi; 07-17-2013 at 12:54 PM.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    I'm doing this because I'm worth it - because I'm worthy - because I love myself.

    Goals: Healthy mind, healthy body, happy soul.

  9. #2629
    Candy in Wonderland's Avatar
    Candy in Wonderland is online now Senior Member
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    Go Tomi!
    My Journal: Candy in Primal Wonderland
    My Blog: Candy in Wonderland
    Goal for 2012: keep weight steady (+/- 74 kg): check
    Goal for 2013: lose 10 kg and keep new weight (+/- 65 kg)

  10. #2630
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    Quote Originally Posted by tomi View Post
    I started this journal with the intention of working through some difficult areas of my life - my poor eating habits which have lead to my gut issues and to my weight problems. I also started it with the hopes of having others help me. So, thank you all for the honesty and the time you take to set me straight. And for the encouragement when I'm doing well.

    I've read through Marcadav's tough love post several times now. I have to say at first I was a bit hurt -- not by Marcadav, but by the truth of it all. It spelled out my failures and weaknesses pretty clearly, and nothing hurts more than looking the ugly truth square in the face.

    I have been less than committed to this venture. Food obviously carries some power over me --- foods that are bad for me carry the most power. I don't binge on apples or sweet potatoes. I eat chocolate (sugar) -- cookies (wheat) -- ice cream (dairy) -- rum/diet coke (just total crap). And in my own defense I don't "binge" at all, but it obviously doesn't take much to set my system off and make me sick. Those are the foods that cause me to stumble and fall flat on my face - and send me running to the bathroom. Those are the foods that are keeping me fat and feeling sluggish and bloated. Those are the foods that I need to eliminate from my diet completely.

    I want to be successful - I want to break the power those things have over me. If they weren't in the house it would be much easier. I think I play these head games with myself............ I'll buy stuff for "hubby" knowing full well if I buy it I will eat it too. I guess I should stop buying things that I want to stop eating, and if hubby wants them he can stop at the store and get them himself. For the boat I will take cut up melons. I'll take a bag of mixed nuts w/o peanuts. I'll take jerky and carrot sticks. If hubby wants chips or other snacks he'll have to buy them himself. I won't buy ice cream anymore. Hubby will complain that we "don't have anything good to eat around here". Sorry........

    I sent him a text and asked him not to buy any more rum for a month so I can get my gut healed. My hope is that after a month he'll get out of the habit of wanting it also. I have noticed that the majority of the time its me initiating having a drink. I have talked to him about my concerns that I may have a problem with alcohol. He says I don't. Honestly, I think I do in that its become a habit. I'm not physically addicted at all - but I do enjoy the taste and the relaxation it gives. I can easily not drink it if I set my mind to it - but I have it way more than I'm comfortable with. Does that make sense? I guess if I'm drinking more than I'm comfortable with then I need to stop. Its become a habit that could become a real problem.

    Big Girl Panties!!!! Face my demons.......... fight them off. Thanks for helping me be honest.
    Tomi, I'm sorry my words hurt you. I simply see a great deal of myself in your struggles and want to help you develop a plan that is sustainable.

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