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Thread: Fibromyalgia and Fat - Tomi's story page 253

  1. #2521
    PrimalLaurie's Avatar
    PrimalLaurie is offline Member
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    Sorry you guys are having conflict. I completely agree that you should not be taking on 40 years of school debt. That would be crazy given you are trying to pay off the house. And as a former college graduate advisor I can't tell you how many non-traditional students really regret the $$ they are still paying back when they would rather be retiring.

    I have the exact same problem with my DH - like he thinks I need "enrichment" or something. I think it is guilt from them being gone so much - sometimes I wonder if they think when they are not around that we are bored! Of course I have an 8 yo and an 11 yo, handle all our finances and insurance stuff, manage 8 rental houses, tutor high school students in multiple subjects, homeschool our kids, and cook real meals. Until recently I also led a womens Bible study and was the Upward Basketball Director at our church. It was a relief to get RID of stuff I was doing when we moved. He was very perplexed by that.

    I have noticed that you seem to really try to have stuff done before he gets home so you can spend time with him. I was doing the same and then realized that he was vastly underestimating what it took to be able to do that! So now, I make a point of not being on forums or facebook/email when he is home or working from home and save just a little house work to do. It solved the problem right quick. He actually suggested to me about a year ago that it might be a good time to for me to go back to school. I already have a MASTERS degree and already have barely enough time to sleep! Though in his defense I had mentioned ONCE that I'd probably have to get another degree to re-enter the workforce (thinking when the kids are college age) since I've been SAHM for 10 years. He has also suggested that I learn another language or take some cooking classes ... I found the latter offensive

    I also think it makes a big difference if you are and intro vs extrovert. I personally have to have alone time to recharge - as an extrovert he thinks me being involved in more will recharge me.

    Will pray you guys work your differences out. Being different is one of the most exciting and frustrating parts of being married!

    Hope you guys are a great last day of the weekend!
    Laurie

    GAPS/Primal - Working on Getting Healthy!

    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread88988.html

  2. #2522
    marcadav's Avatar
    marcadav is online now Senior Member
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    Reading your post, on your after party discussion, I keep asking myself, how is this any different from your want/desire/need to get hubby on board with primal. All I can come up with is, they're the same thing, differing only in specifics.

    I think it might be enlightening, and possibly helpful, to point this out. Then try to agree to let both of you decide what is best for yourself, keeping the best interest of the marriage at the forefront of all choices.

    And for what it's worth, I know about sacrificing dreams/careers. I gave up a career I had wanted/sacrificed for since I was 6 years old so my ex could pursue his. No attempt was ever made to support me returning to my career.

    To this day, he has his job/career because of the choices I consciously make on a daily basis. His lifestyle/financial security is 3 times mine because of my contribution.

    I am now very vocal to my daughters about NOT putting all your eggs in someone else's basket.

  3. #2523
    tomi's Avatar
    tomi is offline Senior Member
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    All good points, Marcadav. Things are good with hubby and me. We don't stay mad for long We're best friends, lovers and soul mates.

    I'll respond to this a bit more tomorrow.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    As per Marcadav:
    Do 30-60 days clean primal.
    No grains, sugar, alcohol.
    Eat 3 meals and primal snacks.
    Don't track food.
    Don't tweak.
    Don't expect issues to go away quickly. Instead, just follow the plan and see how things play out.
    Decide on an exercise plan you can/will do consistently during the 30-60 days and then do it.

  4. #2524
    tomi's Avatar
    tomi is offline Senior Member
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    wow - its HOT here!

    things are good at the home front again. We had a really great weekend. I wanted to talk about hubby's "suggestions" that I do this or that - and I do think it is very similar to my "suggestions" that he tries eating primally to see if it will help him in any way. I don't think the conversation will come up again so I will probably not have the opportunity to point that out to him. But I will certainly keep in mind.

    But, I've been eating poorly for the past 5 days and its showing. the scale is up again and I'm bloated and puffy from head to toe. Top that off with a bit of fibro stiffness and achiness in my feet and ankles. I'm not feeling very good. But - I needed a few days of relaxing and letting the vigilance to "eat healthy" go to the wayside for just a few days. Today is July 1st - and I'm starting whole30 again. I will do the whole30 to the letter - with no rum.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    As per Marcadav:
    Do 30-60 days clean primal.
    No grains, sugar, alcohol.
    Eat 3 meals and primal snacks.
    Don't track food.
    Don't tweak.
    Don't expect issues to go away quickly. Instead, just follow the plan and see how things play out.
    Decide on an exercise plan you can/will do consistently during the 30-60 days and then do it.

  5. #2525
    Pedidoc's Avatar
    Pedidoc is offline Senior Member
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    Go Tomi.....Go Tomi.......Go Tomi!!!
    Female 52 travel for business monthly
    Starting wt: 198, Goal: 135, Current with PB: 160
    Started at a size 16 down to loose 10

    With PB my asthma has improved, low back pain is gone, & I've got more energy

    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60175.html

  6. #2526
    marcadav's Avatar
    marcadav is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by tomi View Post
    I will do the whole30 to the letter - with no rum.
    And no scales?

  7. #2527
    tomi's Avatar
    tomi is offline Senior Member
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    yes............. and no scales too. I'm counting my starting weight at 182 since that's where I was before this past 5 days of putting things in my mouth that don't belong there!

    lets see........ confession is good for the soul - so I will confess to what I've eaten since Thursday.

    Lots of corn chips and BBQ potato chips.
    A Hershey milk chocolate bar.
    Baked beans.
    Brownies.
    Ice cream.
    Home made potato salad.
    Way too much rum.
    One slice of sourdough toast.

    We're spending all of next weekend on the boat. So I'm going to plan ahead and made sure there is plenty of paleo safe foods for me to eat. Right now there is a container of almonds and a container of peanut-less mixed nuts. I'm taking the left over pulled pork and lots of eggs. Lots of meat.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    As per Marcadav:
    Do 30-60 days clean primal.
    No grains, sugar, alcohol.
    Eat 3 meals and primal snacks.
    Don't track food.
    Don't tweak.
    Don't expect issues to go away quickly. Instead, just follow the plan and see how things play out.
    Decide on an exercise plan you can/will do consistently during the 30-60 days and then do it.

  8. #2528
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is online now Senior Member
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    So you're using your starting weight as a weight that was there before your weekend of poor food choices? why? I ask this b/c once you go through the hassle of losing the water weight that you likely gained this weekend and last week, you'll probably get back to 182. I suspect, well, if it were my body, it will take a week to lose that water weight... that will only give you 3 weeks to get to a new end weight, which may very well only be 179 or whatever your last lowest weight was, after spending 7 days ditching water... so your results will, TECHNICALLY, not be as good as they could if you included your 'binge" weight, for lack of a better descriptor.

    If it were me, I'd weigh tomorrow and use that weight as my starting weight.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  9. #2529
    tomi's Avatar
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    well - I thought about all that. I'm 185 today - I feel like if I go with that weight as my whole30 start it will be sorta cheating cuz I know the extra 3 pounds are just from water and bloat from the weekend. In fact, when I got up this morning I weighed 186.6 and in 3 hours dropped to 185.4. My fingers were so swollen when I got up I could barely make a fist! So I figure using my bloat/water weight will not really give me a true outcome in the end. Its only 3.4 pounds anyway.

    it feels good to be back in control.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    As per Marcadav:
    Do 30-60 days clean primal.
    No grains, sugar, alcohol.
    Eat 3 meals and primal snacks.
    Don't track food.
    Don't tweak.
    Don't expect issues to go away quickly. Instead, just follow the plan and see how things play out.
    Decide on an exercise plan you can/will do consistently during the 30-60 days and then do it.

  10. #2530
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is online now Senior Member
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    PrimalCon New York
    Buuuuuuttt... you have to do the work to lose those 3 lbs so they count. They don't just fall off b/c you woke up - you have to do well for them to fall off.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




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