Page 250 of 519 FirstFirst ... 150200240248249250251252260300350 ... LastLast
Results 2,491 to 2,500 of 5187

Thread: Fibromyalgia and Fat - Tomi's story page 250

  1. #2491
    tomi's Avatar
    tomi is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Pacific NW
    Posts
    6,211
    Shop Now
    Yes - you're wise for being so young!

    I know what words to use - I just don't know if I really want to go there. In all honesty I'm wondering how much of his words are really true. Is he right in saying that its never enough for me? Am I demanding and bitchy? I guess that's what I'm trying to figure out and why I haven't talked to him about it. Do I want to say "your words hurt me deeply" ........ or do I need to say "your words were painful to me, but true and I'm very sorry". The other thing that he said is that I'm the one who eats all the junk food in the house........... now I KNOW that isn't true cuz I keep track of everything I eat - or did up until a month ago. So, that's HIS denial kicking in. When he made that statement I told him we won't be having any more junk food in the house if we're going to be pointing fingers at each other.

    So I'm really just trying to work out how I need to approach this. It might just be one of those conversations that is best left alone. If I open the conversation I had better know where I want to take it. If he really didn't mean the words he said I know he'll apologize - but, the words were said and can't be unheard now. They went from his mouth to my memory.

    We'll work it out............. we always do.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    Weight goals:
    Highest weight: 216
    Current weight: 189 (7-16-14)
    Goal weight: 140

  2. #2492
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    7,723
    I hope you find a way to express your feelings to him, Tomi.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  3. #2493
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is offline Moderator
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    11,963
    I think it's best to start the conversation even if you don't have all the answers right away. I would hope that he would be willing to help you figure it all out, with kindness and patience.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  4. #2494
    tomi's Avatar
    tomi is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Pacific NW
    Posts
    6,211
    I sent him this text:

    The other night you said "its never enough for you". If you truly feel that way then I am deeply sorry. I want us both to move into the coming years with the best health possible. I don't want to be a nagging shrew about it. Those words have deeply hurt me.

    waiting for a response............. He's probably waiting until he can call me.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    Weight goals:
    Highest weight: 216
    Current weight: 189 (7-16-14)
    Goal weight: 140

  5. #2495
    tomi's Avatar
    tomi is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Pacific NW
    Posts
    6,211
    hubby called. Said he was sorry and in a round about way said he didn't mean what he said and needed to handle frustrating situations better.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    Weight goals:
    Highest weight: 216
    Current weight: 189 (7-16-14)
    Goal weight: 140

  6. #2496
    honeybuns's Avatar
    honeybuns is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    2,245
    Told you he didn't mean it.
    Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

  7. #2497
    tomi's Avatar
    tomi is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Pacific NW
    Posts
    6,211
    I sure wish he'd choose his words better. I always try my best to NOT say things that I will need to apologize for later. Why let words fly out of your mouth that are going to hurt others if you don't truly mean them? Unless the objective is to hurt and nothing more. I just don't understand that kind of thinking.

    He's not that kind of person. He bends over backwards to be kind to people and to always be helpful and uplifting........... but with me, he tends to be a little more raw. I guess with me he doesn't feel he has to "be" anything so sometimes the unpleasant parts leak out. Whatever............ I guess its over and I need to move forward.

    My tummy is a mess today. But after what I ate yesterday there is really no way to pinpoint the cause. I ate the Melaleuca Bars (2) and I ate grapes and zucchini. The brown sugar was an insulin spiker - but it wasn't the cause of the gastric distress. So - could be the combo of the 3 since they are all fructose bombs. Zucchini and grapes are both on the lower fructose list - but maybe I just can't handle even a small amount? Or, the combined amount was just too much. The box for the bars says it has 6grams of sugar alcohols - and I ate 2 bars. I should have read the label before I ate them -- I KNOW polyols are a definite NO NO. Stupid.......... stupid............. stupid. I was emotionally compromised yesterday and just didn't care --- now today I'm paying for it. I think I'm gonna go back to bed. My gut feels like I have a little critter in there scratching and kicking to try to get out. I wish I knew of something healing and soothing that I could put in there to help calm the storm.
    Read post #2626
    my motivation

    Weight goals:
    Highest weight: 216
    Current weight: 189 (7-16-14)
    Goal weight: 140

  8. #2498
    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is offline Moderator
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    MA, USA
    Posts
    11,963
    Ginger or peppermint tea?
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  9. #2499
    marcadav's Avatar
    marcadav is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    2,171
    You might want to think about writing things out. And taking the approach, I don't know if you meant what you said but I don't think I can get past our conversation until I let you know how it affected me. When you said xyz I felt 123
    (and it needs to be a feeling not a "you statement").

    If you think there was truth to the words he said you can say I can see why you said xxx and while it hurt to hear it, I will work on not doing/saying that.

    Finally, if this tiff was related to your lifestyle(primal) and wanting your hubby to get on board I think you would be better served by dropping it. We can only change ourselves and we need to accept people as they are. The same is true for others accepting us.

    If some of hubby's choices impact your goals in a negative way you first have to decide, for yourself, what you will and will not do. Then own your choices. Finally, hubby will learn to honor your boundaries when he sees you aren't going to be swayed.

  10. #2500
    Orannhawk's Avatar
    Orannhawk is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    757
    Quote Originally Posted by tomi View Post
    I sure wish he'd choose his words better. I always try my best to NOT say things that I will need to apologize for later. Why let words fly out of your mouth that are going to hurt others if you don't truly mean them? Unless the objective is to hurt and nothing more. I just don't understand that kind of thinking.

    He's not that kind of person. He bends over backwards to be kind to people and to always be helpful and uplifting........... but with me, he tends to be a little more raw. I guess with me he doesn't feel he has to "be" anything so sometimes the unpleasant parts leak out. Whatever............ I guess its over and I need to move forward.

    My tummy is a mess today. But after what I ate yesterday there is really no way to pinpoint the cause. I ate the Melaleuca Bars (2) and I ate grapes and zucchini. The brown sugar was an insulin spiker - but it wasn't the cause of the gastric distress. So - could be the combo of the 3 since they are all fructose bombs. Zucchini and grapes are both on the lower fructose list - but maybe I just can't handle even a small amount? Or, the combined amount was just too much. The box for the bars says it has 6grams of sugar alcohols - and I ate 2 bars. I should have read the label before I ate them -- I KNOW polyols are a definite NO NO. Stupid.......... stupid............. stupid. I was emotionally compromised yesterday and just didn't care --- now today I'm paying for it. I think I'm gonna go back to bed. My gut feels like I have a little critter in there scratching and kicking to try to get out. I wish I knew of something healing and soothing that I could put in there to help calm the storm.
    Hang in there, regroup and keep going. Glad to know that your hubby called and you were able to express some of what you are feeling. Sending hugs ....
    Everything's shiny, Cap'n. Not to fret.





Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •