Tomi, I'm sorry you are feeling hurt. Does your hubby know the impact his words had on you? If not I think the first step is to tell him, in an ownership way, how his words affected you.
It's hard to give input on what may or not be something that you can/need to work on (I see labeling things as a flaw as counterproductive) without knowing what was said. But I think we "know" when a nerve/button has been pushed.Given that, we can fix the button or learn to not give the button and its pusher power.
Also, could it be that your hubby feels threaten by the changes you are making and is lashing out in an attempt to get things back to his comfort zone?