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Thread: Fibromyalgia and Fat - Tomi's story page 210

  1. #2091
    tomi's Avatar
    tomi is offline Senior Member
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    weird crazy spam showing up in my journal!

    Boy am I pooped! Crazy busy day with LOTS accomplished.
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  2. #2092
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    Yay for Primal Law: Use your Brain, in figuring out the sediment thing! Gold star for Tomi!

  3. #2093
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    Thanks I must say I am pretty good at figuring out stuff like that.

    Today isn't going the way I had hoped. Hubby is at work - as he normally is on Saturday morning - but he tells me via text he isn't sure when he'll be home today. That makes me sad. Seems like I hardly see him these days. He usually gets home from work about 7 - 7:30 this time of year. We eat dinner and he's asleep on the couch at 9:30. Saturdays he's working 3/4 of the day. So basically I have Saturday late afternoon / evening - and Sunday. I'm feeling a bit neglected. I think this is part of my lack of libido. When we're together he's constantly grabbing, poking, prodding and pressing in sexual but not romantic or alluring ways. The man is a wonderful guy............ but seriously LACKS in the romance department! Sometimes I feel that 16 girl on a date with a guy who's ALL hands! Why can't men understand women don't want to be PAWED at 24/7???

    So - I've done my workout - now I'll go shower and go get some bedding plants. Didn't want to do this alone, but I guess I don't have a choice.

    I'm having a pitty party today............... Tomi's a sad little lady.
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  4. #2094
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    I am a girl who needs some wooing before bedroom activities. Sounds like this is something you should talk to him about. Hulky can be proddy as well and it often drives me nuts, but it's also just part of who he is and I love him for that. I make sure to let him know when I need things to slow down or be a little more er...gentle? Romantic? Aka. foreplay
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  5. #2095
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    Personal and wayTMI!! Skip this one if you want

    Men in general are like this - some are more tender and sensitive - but most are just very hands on and "lets get to it!" I've talked to him about it MANY times. He says no matter what he does he doesn't get a response from me (post menopause that is - before I was just as ready as he was - all the time!). What he doesn't get is that I am almost always in the "blocking" mentality - and any kind of touch puts me on the defense. He just LOVES my body........... and wants to be touching all the "important" parts ALL the DAMN time!

    Today is not a good day ............... I'm frustrated that he's working past noon today - I'm frustrated that he's so insensitive to my needs - yet he's too dense to see that if he would change his tactics and approach that he would actually get what he's after in the end!!! I'm frustrated that I can't find the right words to get him to understand that my body is different than it was before I went "the change" ............... he just isn't wanting to make the adjustments. And I don't know what to do about it! I talked to him about 2 years ago when I first noticed the changes in my libido. I've talked to him about several times since - its seems to go in one ear and out the other.

    Feeling the need to comfort with something NOT whole30 approved. I need to keep my mind on something else. I'm not hungry so that will help. I've sorta got into the mindset that if my tummy isn't hungry I don't eat anything. That's a plus!

    I had a slice of bacon and 3 egg yolks for breakfast. I've noticed that I don't get the belly ache if I don't eat the whites. Yeah for finally figuring that out! TMI - I haven't had any diarrhea for 5 days now! I wonder if all along its been the egg whites??? Or at least partly the eggs whites. I will continue to leave those out and see if the normal bm's continue.

    Sheesh - I've gone from talking about sex to talking about bowel issues. How did I make that transition? Sorry...........
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  6. #2096
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    How many carbs are you eating? I have to tell you, that since I added 15-25 g of carb at each meal/snack. My mood is great. I am constantly hot and I am not talking flashes. I attacked my husband when he got home from work at midnight last night. He was cooperative. lol
    I think lchf was a good way to get a handle on my binges, but for older women, I'm beginning to believe what Ross and Schwarzbein say about the need for carbs.
    Try it, you'll feel great and it might just help other stuff.

  7. #2097
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    I was only having 30-50 on average with the occasional outlier higher or lower - now I'm shooting for 75 -100 because the low carb thing just wasn't working for me. I have to say I do think my "desire" is on the rise. Time will tell. I got the Change O Life today and will start taking it in a few days when my other pills are gone.
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  8. #2098
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    Great. Those should help too.

  9. #2099
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    Tomi, Brad is the same way with the handsiness! Ugh.

    Regarding the "loneliness" issue - as I'm sure that's what is going on and you maybe didn't have the word to describe it. I feel the same way. I don't have much quality adult interaction. I'm not close to anyone and Brad and I have different interests so we don't do a whole lot together. For instance, if I wanted to go buy flowers, he'd want to work on the race car. I wish we lived closer to each other so we could go flower shopping together.
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  10. #2100
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    That would fun, Jenn......... but I think Oregon and Iowa are too far apart for us to have girl days!

    Hubby and I had a talk Saturday when he got home from work. I told him how I felt and he totally understood. I don't have a problem with him working on Saturday as long as he's working for the boatshop -- but when he's working on a friends boat (for free) then I start to get upset. He works 7 am to 7 pm monday - friday -- and I expect Saturday afternoon and evening, and all day sunday to be boat-repair-free-zone. Its not like he doesn't see these guys every day - they are all in and out of the shop on a daily basis! So, its not for lack of "guy time". Besides, he has monday nights at his men's group too! So, I guess really during the week I have about 6-8 hours with him, then Saturday from about 1:00 until Sunday night. That might be more than some people get - but its not enough for me. I love being with my man - I could be with him 24/7 and it wouldn't bother me at all. I'm looking forward to retirement and just being together all the time!

    Jenn -- let me REALLY encourage you to try to find some common ground for you and Brad - and thats not you going to the races because he loves it and you don't have an option. I mean find something that you both enjoy that isn't his hobby or your hobby - but something NEW for both of you and make it a regular part of your life together. Trust me, it will come in VERY handy when the kids get older and you find you have much more time that you aren't needed in your "mom hat". And then when the kids grow up and leave.......... you gotta have common interests cuz thats when marriage are at the make or break point. I realize Brad LOVES the racing scene - and honestly you don't want to take that away from him cuz its a part of who he is. Get creative - talk to him about it. Tell him how much you want to find a common hobby or interest. Ask him to give up just one day a month to start - just one day where he doesn't work on the car or do anything related to racing - make that day for you (and obviously for the kids if you can't find a sitter for one day a month). With summer coming you could commit ONE day a month to taking the kids to a park or a zoo or something that doesn't get expensive. Something close to where you live, but where you can spend a good portion of the day - just being a family.

    Anyhow - Sunday morning we had a talk about the physical side of things. I told him its very difficult for me to think about being intimate when all day I'm on the defensive of his grabbing and groping! The one thing I had to really emphasize is that I DO NOT want to be pantsed ANYTIME - EVER!!!! I've told him that before - but one of his favorite things is to pull off my jammie pants (I don't wear underthings with my jammies) when I stand up from the sofa or while we're going up the stairs to go to bed. I HATE IT!!! I think I finally got him to understand that he needs to respect the fact that I don't want him to do it. And the fact that he finds it FUN doesn't matter at all! Finally I said......... "okay, lets get to the base of how a man thinks -- if NOT pulling down my pants is going to get you MORE sex - isn't that the better option?" He had to agree on that one.

    He does like to go flower and plant shopping - and we did that Sunday morning, then came home and planted everything - including the vegetable garden. We worked in the yard ALL day! and were POOPED by evening. The front is all done now and all that is left is the pots and hangers around the pergola. He really is a wonderful guy --- but he's a guy. He's pretty thick headed. He might be the best boat mechanic on the west coast - but he's pretty dense about women and relationships. But he's also very sweet and loving and I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world.

    Probably WAY more than you ever wanted to know about me and my husband!

    I'm having a little struggle with my whole30 month. I've decided my whole30 is going to be a whole(primal)30 - since I have already deviated several times with cheese, sour cream, cream cheese and yogurt. My challenge will be to do the entire month with no sugar of any kind (not even artificial) and no alcohol. I will consider it an enormous success if I can do this. I made it through the weekend with no rum and no ice cream! and believe me, after all that hard work on Sunday, I wanted to relax with a nice tall rum and diet coke! but I didn't have any. I can't say I wouldn't have had any if there were any in the house - but the house is dry right now. Planning to keep it that way. The ice cream has been calling to me from the freezer - and I'm doing a really good job of ignoring it!

    I hope my computer is okay and they won't need to re-install windows or anything. I know there is a way to re-install without losing all my files, but we shall see. I was getting the blue screen of death flashing slightly before getting the black screen that told me windows could not load and did I want try to repair or restore --- of which I did both several times before giving up. My boss tried to do the same, then he went on the Dell site and read some things - he did the F12 diagnostics which showed all tests passed. So......... virus purhaps? most likely. I need to stop looking at videos people post on facebook. I'm sure I'm getting viruses from those. I also need to do a complete back up of files - and download C-cleaner. I'm already running Malwarebytes and Spybot - I had AVG but it expired. I need to buy a good virus scan program. Why do people have to create viruses that cause such frustration and inconvenience to others? Cyber terrorists!! It should listed in the 10 commandments --- though shalt not mess with thy neighbors computer --- I'm making it the 11th commandment! Maybe hell for the virus makers will be spending eternity staring at the blue screen of death! We've decided to get a different laptop to keep all the boatshop stuff on - that one will have NOTHING to do with the internet - so there will be NO chance of getting a virus. It won't do anything except Quickbooks. We can find a very inexpensive computer to do that.
    Last edited by tomi; 05-06-2013 at 08:17 PM.
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