Fibromyalgia and Fat - Tomi's story page 173

[jenn26point2]

hydrolyzed vegetable protein (whatever that is)

I believe that's code for gluten. Nora Degaudas talked about 'code words' for gluten in Primal Body Primal Mind and this one is ringing a bell for me. I found it weird that "vegetable protein" would be gluten when wheat isn't a vegetable...

Sorry for the fibro flare. I hope the pain is gone by now.

I'm also up a few pounds from where I want to be. 10 to be exact. I really want to hit my LPW so I can get the ball moving again and get back to losing weight.

I'm thoroughly jealous that you're mowing the lawn in Oregon already... we're enduring heavy snowfall right now. And that's BS... that danged groundhog said we were done with winter! Here it is 4 weeks later and it's snowing more now than it did all winter!! I'm so so so ready for spring! Gardens and sunshine and walks and flowers... pretty please!!

[tomi]

I don't covet your weather! Its pretty mild in this part of Oregon. We haven't seen a single snow flake this winter - at least not where I live. Other parts of town, in the higher elevations got a bit in Feb. I think we are at about 300 feet above sea level at my house. The mountains are getting it pretty good though. I heard Mt. Hood has over a hundred inches at the base. Thats good - cuz it will keep the rivers full all summer. But it does get cold - and biting wet cold, that chills to the bone!

I'm thinking of taking a new direction with my weight loss efforts. I've been so focused on food and making sure my numbers are all hitting the mark - even though I'm not hitting the mark due to things like apple pie, and oreos!!! I think I'm going to stop and focus instead on just eating when my body says it needs food. And eating healthy food. Meat and veggies and fat. I've reached the place where my brain is telling me when I've had enough - so I don't think I will have any trouble with over eating anymore - you know, eating until I'm over full and uncomfortable. I can't even remember the last time I did that. When I'm full the food doesn't even taste good anymore so I just stop eating. And I can easily put smaller portions on my plate now. I know what I need to be eating for health and wellness - and I know what I need to stay away from. So, I want to just stop all the tracking and planning and just relax about it all for a while. I really think I'm at a place where food no longer has power over me. I've broke some bad addictions - peanut butter, or almond butter binges don't happen anymore. In fact, I've had a jar of almond butter in the fridge for months and haven't touched it! I don't even buy those dark chocolate bars anymore. Ice cream doesn't scream to me from the fridge since I stopped buying lactaid pills. And since the last 2 fibro flares I think sugar is going to never touch my lips again! But, in all honesty - I still haven't kicked the love of rum and diet coke on the weekends. (hence the missing resolution in my sig) If I stop the rum I think I'm home free and the weight will take care of itself. I basically eat twice a day now. A late breakfast before I go to work, and dinner. Usually I will have a small snack of pork rinds or cream cheese clouds while I'm making dinner.

So - thats what I'm going to do. I've made up my mind. Stop all the insane tracking and calculating and just relax. I'll still watch the scales, but I don't even do that every day anymore - maybe every 3 days, and most always on friday. And I'll keep walking and tracking my miles. I like to see how far I've gone each week, and I have a goal for the year that I'd like to meet. My focus will be on eating healthy and in moderation, and staying active with walking, hiking, biking - and I am going to start using the bowflex again.

I will probably keep my journal going - but I'm exiting out of the eat more fat thread. This feels good - it feels like what I need to do right now.

[jenn26point2]

I'm sorry to see you leave the EMF thread, but I understand your need for simplification. I often feel the need as well. Glad you'll be keeping up with your journal though. I'd be sad to see you leave completely!

[tomi]

Nope not leaving completely - just pulling back a bit. I'm still staying primal - and still doing the eat more fat thing - I'm just not going to get all crazy about it. I've been tracking everything since I started on this journey in Nov. 2011. I've taken small sobaticles, for vacations and stuff - but I'm really feeling the need to just listen to what my body is telling me. I'm also wanting to let my body get really hungry before I feed it. Like right now - I haven't eaten for 6 hours, and I'm just now feeling some hunger pangs. I won't be eating for about 2 hours cuz I need to walk and then I need to cook. I should be good and hungry by then.

So - I'm off to walk in the cold and rain!

[tomi]

Yesterday was a good day.

Movement: I walked a little over a mile. My energy level is sorta dragging lately. Not sure why. Could be the winter blahs! I need some sun. Taking 8000 units of Vit. D daily. Its gray and depressing outside, so must be that. I was feeling good and had lots of energy on Saturday when the sun was out and it was a nice 60 degrees F.

Food: my normal egg breakfast. Then nothing until dinner. Chicken fried up with bacon and peppers and roasted veggies. No snacking, 'cept for one bite of pork rind dipped in uncle dans.

Scale: 185 - a bit of alcoholic bloat from weekend drinking. Working on changing my mindset regarding alcohol. So far I've been focusing on "not drinking until I'm at my goal weight" ............... but I think, and I've visited this thought process before, that I should be focusing more on the "I don't drink" mindset. As I've said, I don't need it, its more recreation - and I dare say its also sorta weekend habit. I need to break the habit. I want to break the habit.

Sleep: not so great last night. Night sweats are still plagueing me. Honestly the only time I sleep through the night is after a few drinks - but then, I don't wake up feeling refreshed, I wake up feeling drug out! Don't like that feeling. So, whats the answer? I can't seem to find anything to try to ward off those damn night sweats. Even doc has nothing to offer. Bio-identical hormones are about the only option and I really don't want to go there. I want to let my body do what its designed to do without interfering. But it sure can make life uncomfortable at times. I hear the hot flashes and night sweats eventually go away - but how long do I have to deal with this?

Play: none.

Sex: none. I feel bad for my husband - his libido is still running at full-tilt. Mine is totally gone. I tried reading the sexy books - they just made me laugh! Seriously - I can't get into that at all. I hate this part of menopause. Actually the only good part is not having to deal with those damn periods every month. And, my skin is really nice! I don't remember the last pimple I had - and eating more fat has sure made the rest of my body soft and silky.

Today's plan: walk 2 miles. Eat healthy. No rum.

[tomi]

Its a BEAUTIFUL day! Sunny and clear! But very cold still. I'm going to bundle up and walk after work today.

Took a hard look at our budget - seems I need to be working about 20 hours consistantly in order to meet my mortgage pay-off goal. Thats pretty easy to do! I just need to put in 5 or 6 hours every day - peice of cake! I'll just start going to work at 11 am and work until 5 pm every day. The manager says I can work at much as I want so - thats the plan. Starting monday - my work hours are 11-5 monday - thursday. Actually - at that rate - I may even pay off that mortgage sooner. (checking amortization calculator) Okay, selling the 5th wheel for $14,500 and putting it all on the mortgage will give us a great start, then - if I bring home just $1200 a month and put ALL of it on the mortgage I can pay off the mortgage in Oct. of 2019. Thats only 6 years and 7 months to pay off $203,000. WooHoo!!! SEVENTY NINE months is all it will take to pay off our house! Then retirement won't be an issue. We'll both turn 60 in 2020 - and at that point we can start stock piling money into our 401K accounts. Assuming SS will still be available we should be able to slide into retirement with ease. As long as hubby is able he can keep the boatshop going - even if it means letting his employees do most of the work - it will still generate income for us. So, unless some tragedy befalls us - I think we'll be okay in our old age.

boy - I'm glad I worked all that through cuz I've sorta been sweating the whole retirement thing. And I'm not going to tell hubby what I'm doing. In October of 2019 we'll have our 18th anniversary - and I'll hand him the paid off mortgage! Of course - all this happen if NOTHING goes wrong with the plan.

I'm excited!

Yesterday was a good day.

Food: eggs, bowl of lettuce w/honey mustard, steak, small potato w/butter, green beans, slice of pineapple, a couple pork rinds and a couple cream cheese clouds. Good day foodwise.

Movement: walked 1.5 miles

Sleep: good

Mood: good

See - all in all it was a good day.

Today is sunny and beautiful!

[namelesswonder]

Won't hubby notice the amount decreasing? Or do you usually handle all of that?

Your food yesterday sounds awesome.

[tomi]

Hubby doesn't even know how much the mortgage payment or balance is! He has NO idea what our income or bank accounts look like either. He hates dealing with finances so I take care of all of it. Even the boatshop account. I will tell him what the balance of the account is if its getting uncomfortably low near payroll time - but otherwise he's clueless! He comes home and hands me the daily receipts - and I take it from there. So paying the mortgage off and keeping it a total surprise will not be difficult.

[jenn26point2]

Hubby doesn't even know how much the mortgage payment or balance is! He has NO idea what our income or bank accounts look like either. He hates dealing with finances so I take care of all of it. Even the boatshop account. I will tell him what the balance of the account is if its getting uncomfortably low near payroll time - but otherwise he's clueless! He comes home and hands me the daily receipts - and I take it from there. So paying the mortgage off and keeping it a total surprise will not be difficult.

That's pretty much how our household runs. As long as Brad is able to swipe the debit card here and there and there's no declines, he's perfectly happy. Of course, I tell him when we're out of money so he doesn't try to spend, but sometimes he's too fast for me. He is not aware of how the debt repayment plan works, but knows it's working and that we'll be debt free - less mortgage and students loans - (barring any hiccups in the plans or major financial issues that crop up) in 3 years. I can't wait.

[tomi]

Thats great Jenn! Keep at it! those 3 years will fly by and you'll be sittin' pritty!

I look at the time - 79 months - and that sounds huge! but its 100 months earlier than the scheduled pay off - so thats pretty damn good! I'm looking forward to seeing the balance drop every month! I have a spreadsheet all ready to start entering payments and tracking the balance. If we get any extra money, like tax refunds (ya right!) or whatever - it'll all go onto the mortgage too. If the business is doing well we can always take a bonus at the end of the year. We have already agreed there will be no vacations aside from the short beach trips or whatever until the mortgage is gone. I can handle that given the reward at the end will probably be a super great vacation for our 20th anniversary. I'm thinking Spain!

on another note: I'm down a little 183 today.