Fibromyalgia and Fat - Tomi's story page 170

[Candy in Wonderland]

Congratulations for staying (mostly) on track during your holidays!

[tomi]

thanks, Candy! Close - but not close enough. But no regrets.

I haven't walked in 11 days. Weather, seasonal gloom, rum causing sluggishness........... Looking back on last years logs I see that I was in the same place this time last year. I think I went the entire month of Jan. and most of Feb. without walking. I don't want to do that again this year.

Ketostix registered "mild". Demuralist suggested I try an evening test to see if that shows any better. The thing is - I always have to pee once or twice during the night so I'm wondering if my first morning pee is not at concentrated as is would be if I didn't pee all night. So, I'm going to do a bedtime test tonight and see what happens. I've never experienced the metal mouth, sweet breath thing that others talk about. Yes I feel the added energy and stamina, and once I was pee'ing about every 30 minutes. Anyway - I'll just see what the stix says tonight and then again in the morning. That should be sufficient to see if I should be testing morning or evening.

Food yesterday all good! Numbers were all perfect. I slept well Was up early again All good things.

Nothing really to report on a personal note. Things are going great with hubby - libido sunk into the gutter again once vacation was over, but I'm more than willing to "accomodate" his needs. My son is doing great! The step daughters are busy with their own lives and I don't see them very often. Even oldest SD is being nice when I do see her - although still very much totally self-centered and self-absorbed. How hard is it to say "so, whats new with you guys?" or "hey, how was to vacation?" Truth be told, she's not at all interested. I'm having a hard time accepting that. She was telling us about her p/t after school program job and it sounds like she is enjoying being the "mean" teacher that makes everyone follow instructions and isn't affraid to do whatever is needed to make the kids fall into line and do what she tells them. Partly thats a good thing - we need more teachers who aren't affraid of not being "liked" by their students - but on the other hand - she is going to be the teacher that everyone remembers, and hates. Her controlling nature is coming out with this job. She has full authority over these little kids and she's taking it all in! I sorta feel sorry for her students cuz I know exactly what they are dealing with. I expect parental complaints to come at some point.

On a personal note I'm feeling very blah! Winter is not a good time for me. I need to up my vitamin D maybe? I take 8000 units per day now, but it doesn't seem to get me out of the winter blahs. I'm not down or depressed at all - but I don't find a lot of joy in life either. I'm sure we are all feeling the same to one degree or another. Winter in the northern hemisphere is grey and uninspiring.

I'm going to take a shower now and purhaps take a short walk before going to work. Work is picking up and I will need to start planning to get there earlier. I have been working consistantly about 4-5 hours a day now and I still need to have more time to finish the tasks that are being given to me. Its all good. More time on the clock is more money in my paycheck - meaning more money on the mortgage. We decided to forego any "big" vacations until the mortgage is paid off - so that will be my focus. Our 15 year mortgage will be paid off by October of 2021 if I can swing. Thats a 5 year early payoff. I want to hand my husband the mortgage paid in full on our 20th anniversary. and then - I'm going to retire!

[jenn26point2]

Sounds like a lovely plan, Tomi! Retirement is still a non-existent thing for us. Granted, we have 30 years before we have to worry about it/look forward to it... Hopefully, by then, our mortgage will be paid off too.

[jenn26point2]

I can't help but wonder if I have control issues too... my inflexibility with the budget, my inability to let Brad take over the budget, my inability to give Brad the money to pay on things (he has asked two or three times for me to write a check to the race team so he can write a check to whatever is supposed to be paid - I won't do it - to me, that equates giving a crack addict $20 to put toward groceries or gas... never happens).

I don't let him fold my clothes... and I don't like how he loads the dishwasher... Maybe it's OCD... maybe it's control issues... idk. Thanks for the introspection inspiration there.

[tomi]

Here's a thought, Jenn --- test yourself.

give him ONE task and vow not to critique or re-do what he's done. See if its a control issue. If it is - then you may need to do some self analysis to work through it.

Why does it matter how the dishwasher is loaded as long as everything comes out clean and unbroken? Its a minor issue considering all that we have to think about during the day. As long as the job gets done, it really isn't important HOW it gets done. Right? As for folding............. everything but my unders, socks and bras gets hung up in the closet. Try that

[jenn26point2]

Here's a thought, Jenn --- test yourself.

give him ONE task and vow not to critique or re-do what he's done. See if its a control issue. If it is - then you may need to do some self analysis to work through it.

Why does it matter how the dishwasher is loaded as long as everything comes out clean and unbroken? Its a minor issue considering all that we have to think about during the day. As long as the job gets done, it really isn't important HOW it gets done. Right? As for folding............. everything but my unders, socks and bras gets hung up in the closet. Try that

I think the problem with the dishwasher is that he arranges things in a way that doesn't allow for max capacity... lol His mom does the same thing. it's like the way they load it results in the need for two loads, whereas I can get it all in on one load - and things still come out clean. I think maybe it's an efficiency OCD thing... but hell, he can't even remember to UNLOAD the dishwasher even though he agreed to do it to help me out, and he says loading the dishwasher makes him gag, so I guess that is a non-issue.

We used to hang everything - then the closet rod crashed to the floor. Haven't rehung said closet rod as brackets and schtuff all got mangled and ruined (it was one of those powder-coated wire shelf/rod systems) and we haven't had the extra money to replace the parts. So, hanging isn't really an option. He has been folding his own clothes lately, which I am fine with. For some reason, when he folds clothes, they tend to be wrinkly.

[namelesswonder]

When Hulky and I disagree on how things get done, I try to let him do it without interference at least once. If there's a problem, I'll point it out later. "I like to fold my shirts this way because it's easier to straighten them/they don't stay wrinkled." If it's not something he's willing to compromise on, then I take over that duty (he hates folding my shirts so I always do those no matter who is folding haha). If it is, great! He has showed me some different ways of doing things in much the same way.

[jenn26point2]

I think mine fits the role of non-housekeeper very well as he was never required to do anything growing up. MIL showed him how to use the washing machine the day before we moved in together...

[tomi]

boy - I'm the lucky one then! My husband cooks and cleans better than I do! With his parents gone to India many years of his life, he and his brothers learned how to fend for themselves. The 4 boys were responsible for cooking and cleaning.

I was never allowed to cook at home cuz mom said I wouldn't clean up after myself - but she never gave me a chance to try. I went into my first marriage cooking only what I had "observed" my mom cooking. My mom didn't know spices went beyond salt and pepper. I cooked very bland food for 18 years! Then new hubby introduced me to the world of spices! When my husband cleans HE CLEANS! It puts me to shame. Since I've been working p/t for the past 5 years I've done all the cleaning myself, and the house isn't as clean as when we did it together.

I have no complaints - which also means maybe I'm not the best one to offer advice

I will offer this: most men are like children because their mommies never made them grow up. Remind Brad for the first couple months about his job of emptying the dishwasher and maybe it will become habit for him by then and you can lay off. ????? My ex was the same about the dishwasher - for some reason he hated getting his hands "icky" from dirty dishes or dirty dishwater.

[tomi]

Daily report: I started the day as I normally do. my eggs cooked in butter. I had a couple clouds when I got home from work. then hubby calls to say we have to go to Portland to get a boat. Okay....... so then UPS delivers my sons curtains HERE instead of to his house (he forgot to fix that when he ordered) so now we also have to go by my sons house. By 8:30 we were trying to figure out what to do for dinner. We ended up stopping at Shari's (a step above Denny's in my book). I ordered the American chopped salad. I gave hubby the pita bread. I put honey mustard on it (I hate vinegar and oil). Then we decided to take home an apple pie. OK - I've been craving Apple Pie since last fall and have never given into the craving. So I endulged.

the day ended with
Calories: 1688
Fat: 53%
Prot: 16 %
Carb: 31%

Not so great. Ketones showed "slight" or whatever the lowest above negative is. It was one level down from yesterday. I'm going to check tonight before bed. Weight this morning still 182.2. I'm definitely not going to see the 177 by friday. My own fault. Without the pie I would have been sorta okay - still high on carbs though. I'm not sure what better choice I could have made under the circumstances. Maybe I should have ordered a steak and side veggies, but I'm guessing then I would be high on protein and still high on carbs. The Apple Pie and honey mustard are what did me in on carbs. So if I had not done those I would have been doing good. Lesson learned.

Now we have 3/4 of a pie in the fridge................. ugh. Maybe the neighbors need to come over for a visit!

I'm all dressed for my walk. Under Armor in place! I'm eating some eggs and then I'm going for just a short one mile. Maybe tonight I'll squeeze in a bit more. We're going to visit MIL tonight and then hubby wants to go out for Sushi. I'm hoping the little bit of rice won't hurt. That will be my only source of carbs for the day.