Wow... This has turned into quite the pissing match. If you're still checking this thread, I'll tell you what works for me. Doesn't mean it'll work for you; God made us all into different creatures, so there's my disclaimer.
Calories count to a certain extent, BUT you've got to have the right combination of macros to get things moving, IMO. Until recently, I was watching my calories like a hawk, doing PBF exactly as recommended, Intermittent Fasting, and not losing a pound. I figured I was just going to have to go on like that forever to maintain my weight. I'd just resigned myself to weighing 132# forever, and I'm not unhappy at this weight, so I wasn't too worried. Until I decided I'd been trying to do a real pull-up on my own for a year, so maybe I needed to tweak my diet a little to allow myself to get stronger.
I kept track of my eating for about a week, decided things were just pitiful. There was no way I was getting all my nutrients and not be eating 24 hours a day, if I didn't introduce a supplement or two. I found a decent multivitamin, started taking fish oil and magnesium, and stopped giving myself my 20% every single freakin' day. I discovered the smoothie and whey protein, which took the place of sugar free ice cream in my life. I ditched the daily Diet Coke, and started drinking unsweetened iced tea (tea without sugar is criminal here in GA, but I don't care!) and eating more salads and veggies. I aim for 1/3 of each macro (fat, carbs, and protein). Since I've cleaned up my diet in the past month, I've dropped another 5 pounds.
I'm still eating at a calorie deficit, but I hope I'll figure out my caloric sweet spot for maintaining in another 5 pounds or so. I'm still not actively trying to lose weight, but as long as I've got this little pudge, I'm not going to worry about it getting any smaller! Again, this is just what works for me. Life is not a one-size-fits-all proposition, so you may need to fiddle with things before you figure out what works for you. I wish you the best of luck in figuring stuff out!
Motherhood: When changing from pj pants to yoga pants qualifies as 'getting dressed'.